Welcome to the HLP Station. Exits are located to the right, left, up, down, and 4th-dimensionally. However all of them are blocked, except the 4-d one, and so far the only way to go there is through an event horizon. In the event of a landing of any kind, you can and will be used as a flotation device. Do not feed the resident Shivan Carl as he will become voracious and chew your leg off. You can find him in the ventilation duct. Throw him your lunch and he'll leave you alone (usually). Flamethrowers can be found under your seat but due to financial constraints have been refilled with holy water, use them only to kill vampires. Plasma rifles can be found in storage lockers. To prevent act of n00b, however, these can only be opened by Moderators, Volition, GOD or a hyperintelligent shade of BluE, and in very rare cases the president of Bosch beer. Please remember that any attempt to use the ASCII characters 0046h, 0053h, and 0033h in sequential order will result in you being trampled by FreeSpace fan boys. If you go in the Vasudan section of the station and find a box labelled “Headz”, please don't open it. Thank you and enjoy your stay!
(I would beam you but, I don't know how.)
