Well, in last night's holy****ing****thisisawesome excitement, I didn't really get to share details.
This all started two years ago, in my freshman year of high school. A girl that just transferred in at the beginning of the year (who, at the time, had no idea who I was) ended up in my English I class. We became friends by default (since I'm one of those people who finds it easy to make friends who don't have a predetermined judgment about you based on what they've "heard" from other people--I was a whiny ***** before high school...). At the time, I already had a long-distance girlfriend (who was moving to the school at the beginning of the next semester). Eventually, that girlfriend broke off with me--damn good thing too, I can't stand her to this day.
Moving forward to the next school year, the girl in question here (somehow) became best friends with my ex-girlfriend over time, who--even though she couldn't stand the thought of dating me again--purposefully made it difficult for me to be more than just a friend with this girl. So, naturally, I didn't attempt anything until I got the opportunity to--at the school symphony concert (she and I were both in the symphony--ex girlfriend wasn't). I was successful--well, partially anyway.
That's when I found that she wasn't old enough to date yet, according to her parents. I took about a day to accept this and try and move on.
Two weeks later, she comes to school happy as hell, and no one's sure why (apart from--you guessed it--ex girlfriend). After a week's worth of guessing, she finally admits to me that she's in a relationship with an 18 year old guy (we're both 15 years old at this point) who happens to be the cousin of my ex girlfriend, and that she didn't want to tell me because she knew I'd be mad. Of course I was ****ing angry, but I didn't want to show it, and acted like it was nothing. Got home, and managed to spew out an angry phone call to her, asking what the hell happened to "not breaking a promise to your parents?" Well, of course, this gets ex girlfriend on a rampage threatening me with her array of weapons (she was a gun/ballistics enthusiast, as it turns out...) if I didn't stop "harassing" them.
Well, after a few weeks' worth of ignoring each other out of shame and slight tinges of anger, we became friends again just as Christmas rolled around.
Just recently, I went into a slight suspended state overall--not being able to get work done on anything, schoolwork was slipping, and self-awareness of the fact that I was dead in the water on the relationship front was killing me. The girl in question here found out about this, tried to reassure me (though made it clear that she wasn't going to be the one for me). This... didn't really help, but it showed that she did care, so that was the one good thing that came of it.
Then, yesterday, there was a competition in the local area for the school marching bands, something her sister is actively engaged in--she attended, watched their band win second place, and left. On the way home, there was a motorcycle accident. When she drove past the accident scene, there was still a body on the road, with car parts and motorcycle fragments all over the place. This drove her to tears.
She gets home, and via Facebook, she mentions to me that she just came to a realization that life is short and that opportunities are missed--and that I may have been one of those. She is of dating age now.
In reality, all I did was get into an irreplaceable spot in her heart--regardless of whether or not I'm "just a friend."
Teenagers are unable to feel love, and unfortunately, I know this for a fact. She and I are no exception. Whether this works out or not, it all boils down to whether or not we can overcome our own immaturity.
