ransom, my insuperable fredmastering man
i have a request, nay, a geas
speaking as perhaps your most lugubrious fan
your long quiet has incurred an arreas
those new to this forum are perhaps unaware
of your superhuman achievements
this ignorance pains me, and only contributes
to a sort of ongoing bereavement
in order to demonstrate that you are no midge
that you exceed the human condition
i plead with you to go and leap from a bridge
and, posthaste, return from perdition
a return from hell
should make an excellent tell
of your surpassing sort of delivery
and if the devil attempts
to hold you in contempt
your tales will leave him all shivery