[Kitsune]

I'm sure some of you have heard this before.  It's been awhile since I've seen it so may as well share it.  


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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY!

Day number 180  
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!  9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!  10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!  11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!  1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!  4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY
FAVORITE!

Day number 181  
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  9:30 am -
OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!  9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!  10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!  1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!  4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  5:30 PM - OH BOY!
MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182  
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!  9:30 am -
OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!  9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!  10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!  1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!  1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.  4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!  5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD!
MY FAVORITE!  5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..................

[Gortef]

ROTFLMAO!!!

Oh the sweet differences between cat and dog

[Vortex]

hehe, someone should even include one of the bird...

[Stunaep]

hmm... according to this diary, I'm a dog.

[Ulundel]

I just can't understand how people can like those dirty, VERY STUPID, pintless etc. beasts.

Like I have a dog (IT'S NOT MINE. DO YOU HEAR THAT!!!) it stinks!!!

BOOOOOOOO, DOGS, BOOOOOOO!!!!!

But I think dogs think more like this:
Morning: What?
Afternoon: What?
Evening: What?

[Zeronet]

Originally posted by Gortef
ROTFLMAO!!!

Oh the sweet differences between cat and dog

[Stryke 9]

Trouble is, when people think of dogs, they tend to be thinking of things like Black Labs, which are, I'm convinced, the Texans of the dog world. Actually, most dogs are the only pet I've seen that's demonstrably smarter than a rat, though I've gotta say a few dozen rats is cooler. Cats are just nasty, vile things- and there's a very good reason for this. They aren't intended as housepets, or any sort of domesticated animal at all. They were bred selectvely by primitive man so that we'd have something small, spiteful, and abysmally stupid to kick whenever we wished.

[Corsair]

Stryke 9: Tell me what you really think.

and as to that.....
that's hilarious...and so true!

[Stryke 9]

I think I'm going to find out whether I can pitch a full-grown cat all 50 yards to the highway during rush hour if my neighbor's cat craps in my yard again.

That and that at least dogs are clever enough to know who to suck up to, who has the food and treats. Cats rely solely on human masochism and stupid peoples' predilection for furry things, and thus are much less effecient parasites.

[Dark_4ce]

ROTFLMAO great!

This is why I chose to get a ferret. They're smart, compact, house trainable, agile as a cat (as harmfull too but as dosile as the average dog), and as loving and playfull as a dog. They have they're cons too. They smell BAD! Well, perhaps not bad, just different from cats or dogs. More of a musky smell, like horses. Though they got one horrible trait. They got the abbilites of a skunk. Not as potent, but trust me, if you piss off a ferret or scare it, you DO NOT want to be in the same room. Thankfully I only had to witness it once when it was still trying to understand what a bath was. Also they're uncurable cleptomaniacs! They steal EVERYTHING! If they like what they see, they take it! Socks above all, but also anything you've been using. They see you writing with a pen, decide the pen must be valuable cause you're using it, and when you're not looking, they nick it and hide it in the weirdest places. They sometimes get too into stealing things, and try to steal EVERYTHING! I even caught my ferret trying to steal my golf clubs! They're really cute, quite easy to take care of, and loads of fun! They're really smart too!

And they are not rodents. They're in a class of they're own, but closer related to dogs, than cats.

They're perfect pets, the best parts of cats and dogs, rolled into one!

[Blue Lion]

Ferrets own, you should all go buy one, now!

[Dark_4ce]

Originally posted by Blue Lion
Ferrets own, you should all go buy one, now!

AYE!

[Blue Lion]

Originally posted by Dark_4ce


AYE!

 You, more comics, chop chop

[Dark_4ce]

Originally posted by Blue Lion


 You, more comics, chop chop

Ok...Ok...

*Runs back into his dusty and bat infested cave....*

[mikhael]

Originally posted by Stryke 9
That and that at least dogs are clever enough to know who to suck up to, who has the food and treats. Cats rely solely on human masochism and stupid peoples' predilection for furry things, and thus are much less effecient parasites.

Cat's are smart enough to be spiteful, moody, pissy, foul creatures AND STILL GET TAKEN CARE OF BY HUMANS. Dogs have to humiliate themselves regularly.

On balance, I'd say the cat is smarter.

[Thorn]

Then there are the wierd cats that try to pass themselves off as dogs....
Heh.. I torment my friends sisters cat...
I feed the thing catnip, and lots of it. Ever see a doped up cat?

[LtNarol]

in my opinion, dogs are the blondes of the planet, they're always happy and always dumb.  Cats on the other hand, are intelegent, all my cats respond by name (and only to their own name); they also have character traits other than constant drooling.  As for Texans, just what are you trying to say about Texans?

[Zeronet]

Originally posted by LtNarol
in my opinion, dogs are the blondes of the planet, they're always happy and always dumb.  Cats on the other hand, are intelegent, all my cats respond by name (and only to their own name); they also have character traits other than constant drooling.  As for Texans, just what are you trying to say about Texans?

Texas?! Holy Cow! You know what comes from Texas dontcha!?

[LtNarol]

Da best damn beef jerky ya can get fer yer money
as opposed to...
what comes out of California: fruits, nuts, and flakes
what comes out of Florida: people who cant vote
what comes out of Arkansas: hicks
need i go on?