Well, if the point of the exercise was to flex your eloquence muscles, that's one thing. If it had to sound like a sincere apology.. Let me put it this way. If something like this was directed at me, I would assume it was sarcastic and probably be even more pissed off at the author than I was before the apology. There's simply too much groveling in it to take it seriously.
In short, to me that letter says "the author is either being really sarcastic, having a go at his room mate, or if this is serious we're talking about someone with no self esteem whatsoever". It's one thing to honestly apologize for a mistake you've made, and entirely another to take it to complete extremes, making yourself look like a worthless worm not worthy of being stepped on by the glorious foot of your esteemed subject of apology. It's just too much.
