[Marcov]

...who then turned up in 100 pieces the next day when Alpha 1 destroyed his shuttle...

[Polpolion]

Meanwhile,

[redsniper]

and Mr. T threw the feldspar HELLA far, because T don't like no foo' minerals. Then, the entire UEF fleet jumped into Bosch's bedroom and...

[Marcov]

...the Iceni was about to explode due to displacement but fortunately Alpha 1 triggered ~Shift+I at the Iceni, dispersing the fleet out of Bosch's bedroom and...

[Commander Zane]

Alpha 1 then steals the Hammerspace module in Bosch's bedroom, causing the UEF fleet to explode from becoming simultaneously compressed...

[Kopachris]

Into a pulsar, which ****ed up everyone's communication systems.

[Kszyhu]

By flooding them with Dynasty reruns.

[Unknown Target]

The ensuing chaos from being subjected to hours upon hours of 1980s soap opera caused them to go mad, resulting in...

[Mobius]

...immediate divorce.

[Commander Zane]

Between the Ghost of Koth and his toaster.

[Mobius]

Which turned out to be a Cylon.

[Commander Zane]

With an identity crisis thinking it was Robert Williams.

[Mongoose]

Who is, as it turns out, a distant cousin of Robin Williams.

[Commander Zane]

Who had been forced to change his name in the first place after a hilarious incident involving Kool-aid and a beaver.

[Mobius]

Then, all of a sudden, Justin Beaver popped up.

[Commander Zane]

The GTVA High Command and Bosch agreed to a Cease-Fire in order to then wage war against the beavers.

[Kopachris]

To strengthen their numbers, the Beavers allied themselves with the Otters.

[Snail]

Meanwhile, Alpha 1 begins a high-risk undercover mission to find out the true motives behind the Beavers' incursion into Allied Space.

[watsisname]

Unfortunately for Alpha 1, the Beavers had foreseen this, and proceeded to set him up the bomb, and

[Kopachris]

confidently took a nap.