[Unknown Target]

And in other news, barely educated pirates from a third world hellhole are not versed in the proper use and training of military hardware. Additionally, I'm getting reports from the field that they may be ignorant of the latest advances in US warship technology.

More at 11.

[Polpolion]

And in other news, barely educated pirates from a third world hellhole are not versed in the proper use and training of military hardware. Additionally, I'm getting reports from the field that they may be ignorant of the latest advances in US warship technology.

More at 11.

Since when do you need to be educated to know that attacking a warship with nothing more than a couple rifles and grenades is a terrible idea?

[Unknown Target]

Apparently since these Somali pirates tried it?

[Dragon]

I guess that they got used to big commercial vessels and thought a military frigate to be just another odd looking freighter (somehow failing to notice the cannons, MGs and a freakin' CIWS...). They couldn't have been so stupid to attack a frigate knowing what it really is, right? Anyway, they got exactly what they deserved. 
At least the guys who tried to mug Chuck Norris had a slightly plausible excuse. It can really be hard to believe he can be so badass in real life, though checking it like that is still a height of stupidity. 

[S-99]

I like how well chuck kicked their asses. Not just broken bones, but bones that protruded from the skin. Chuck was quite serious in showing that his combat skills are all too real.

[Mongoose]

The sad thing is, if that happened today, he'd probably get sued by the guys whose asses he kicked.  Then again, any Texas judge would laugh it right out of court.

[Qent]

But... they were in the act of threatening his life with knives. Suing for injuries sustained while burgling someone's house I can understand (though maybe not agree with), but I can't imagine them having a case if he did anything less than shoot them.

[Thaeris]

The law is filled with moronic loopholes that enable criminals to press charges against their victims. I'm not sure what else to say on the matter, besides that if a burgular is robbing you, if you don't want him to sue... make sure he can't once you've dispatched him.

[Klaustrophobia]

except then the state presses charges.  worse ones. 

[Polpolion]

The law is filled with moronic loopholes that enable criminals to press charges against their victims. I'm not sure what else to say on the matter, besides that if a burgular is robbing you, if you don't want him to sue... make sure he can't once you've dispatched him.

  Tell me again where you are that if your life is in danger you cannot legally take steps to protect yourself?

[Nuke]

i once knew this white supremacist chick who was about to get raped by a black dude, she put a bullet through his spine and him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. the guy got an naacp to hire him a top notch lawyer to sue her for a hate crime. they lost but id hate to live in a world where rapists can sue their victims.

[S-99]

I think in such a situation where the criminals press charges. That chuck would probably win the case. After all, it was chuck defending himself at knife point.

Perhaps a jury would think that chuck went too far with the ass whooping? I can see that happening. He was pretty damn brutal to the knife bearers. But, we don't know exactly how the ass whooping occured. All we know is how it started and how it ended. We have no idea if it was necessary for chuck to break all their arms in the fashion that he did, or if he could have eventually knocked them out; because we have no idea how much the knife bearers sucked at knife fighting. One big detail i do suspect however is that chuck kicked their asses in a way that says "look at how brutally i disabled all of you from using a knife, i could have just scrotum-ball-ripped your dicks off instead you dumb ****ers".

In the end, chuck was in the right. I don't think he'd have to worry too much about the criminals pressing charges except in the area of thinking perhaps chuck was too extreme. Other than that, i think chuck would still win the case.

[Nuke]

if i were gonna mug chuck norris, id nuke him for orbit, even then, there is no way to be sure.

[LordMelvin]

if i were gonna mug chuck norris, id nuke him for orbit, even then, there is no way to be sure.

If you were going to make your morning coffee, you'd nuke it from orbit. I mean, come on. This is you.

[karajorma]

Suing for injuries sustained while burgling someone's house I can understand (though maybe not agree with), but I can't imagine them having a case if he did anything less than shoot them.

Speaking of burglary.

[Mongoose]

Dear lord...robbing Ivan Drago?

[karajorma]

I particularly love how Cracked wrote up the story.

The criminals have yet to be caught, but it's probably punishment enough that each lives with the certainty that one day, he'll bend over the bathroom sink to splash water on his face, lift up his head and in the mirror see that Ivan Drago is standing directly behind him.

Funnily enough it was in a section titled 6 Insane True Stories Too Awesome for a Chuck Norris Movie

[Nuke]

if i were gonna mug chuck norris, id nuke him for orbit, even then, there is no way to be sure.

If you were going to make your morning coffee, you'd nuke it from orbit. I mean, come on. This is you.

im just saying, if theres one person who can stand up to a nuke, its chuck norris.

[karajorma]

Let's not have the thread descend in a succession of "Chuck Norris is so........." quotes please.

[Black Wolf]

With regards to the Somali pirates this wasn't the first time something like this has happened. So, yeah, suddenly pirates in Freespace aren't looking so unrealistic, are they?