[An4ximandros]

My supporters know that I will protect our Bill of Rights, our right to exploit cheap overseas labor and our judicial system.
I will not stand for an America where greedy doctors and porn stars can take away our cherished American values.

Unlike myself, my opponent wants an America where internet pirates and filthy hobos can destroy our medical dramas;
 where violent video game makers and North Korean dictators can make a mockery of our sacred constitution.

Remember, I will work for an America where Washington elitists and drug dealers can't corrupt our phones.
I want an America where drug companies and media moguls can't sabotage our right to accrue foreign debt.

Source

[Mars]

"Unlike myself, my opponent wants an America where MSNBC cronies and Chinese factory workers can undermine our right to shoot brown people."
 

[Mongoose]

This honestly had me for a second.  Poe's Law is not to be taken lightly.

[The E]

The deviousness of impressionism is sociological in its morphology.

[headdie]

My opponent is conspiring with angry chefs, Mexican drug mules and pot smokers.

nuff said

[Hobbie]

"My opponent is working with communists, tree-huggers and violent video game makers."

Commies!

[Apollo]

"I refuse to support an America where gays and media moguls can make a mockery of our sacred family values."

"My opponent is working with Fox News cronies, tribal warlords and pundits."

"My opponent is receiving money from shifty Canadians, communists and illegal immigrants."
oh no not da canadians 

[redsniper]

I got a corporate slogan about creating "knowledge based knowledge bases for corporate knowledge professionals."   O_O

[Lorric]

"I want an America where Halliburton board members and Chilean miners can't undermine our young entrepreneurs."

Exactly. The way those damn Chilean miners took all the attention! They stole the attention our young entrepreneurs needed! They stole the spotlight! 

 

[Dragon]

I got a corporate slogan about creating "knowledge based knowledge bases for corporate knowledge professionals."   O_O

Sounds like something either the PHB or The CEO would say. In fact, many of those phrases do.

[NGTM-1R]

Came expecting comic book.

Was not disappointed, but not because it was a comic book.

[Nuke]

put the bong down.

or better yet pass it this way.

[An4ximandros]

Master of Death

[headdie]

define contradiction.
My opponent is working with Wall Street insiders, communists and terrorists.


and what the hell
Unlike my opponent, I will protect our prosperity, our civil rights and our right to kill foreigners.

[SpardaSon21]

Oh ha ha:
Unlike myself, my opponent wants an America where military-industrial warmongers and overseas manufacturers can corrupt our right to shoot brown people.

[Apollo]

guess which one is real

"My supporters know that I have faith in our Christian heritage, the Second Amendment, and our right to shoot brown people."

"I will work for an America where Jewish bankers, homosexuals, and tree-huggers cannot undermine our right to bomb Iran. My opponent is conspiring with Oriental socialists, smelly hippies, and violent video game makers."

"Know this: that I believe in our integrity, our powerful SUVs and our right to use up the world's resources."

[Dragon]

All three look legit (well, for a given value ), I'd bet the 3rd one due to not seeing the generator use this sort of grammatical construction yet.

[Apollo]

All three look legit (well, for a given value ), I'd bet the 3rd one due to not seeing the generator use this sort of grammatical construction yet.

[Nakura]

"I will work for an America where suicide bombers and tribal warlords cannot sabotage our innocent babies' smiles." 

[jg18]

We will steadfastly and unceasingly implement dedicated eTraining portals for today's Pakistanian virtual eMonopolies.

We are dedicated to helping research flexible data implementations for today's market-driven virtual eBusinesses.
^ this one is bordering on legit-sounding


Corporate Slogan Generator needs more tech jargon, especially "cloud" so that it can be properly exploited by this fine Chrome extension.


EDIT: The wine reviews are hilarious: (I have a cold and am nearly choking )

Champs de Dauphin intertwines banal vomit undertones and a 150-proof albuterol finish in their 2012 Pinot Grigio.