[Hades]

That's... incredibly awful to hear. I'm truly, truly sorry about your father, and I'd also sorry about how absolutely toxic I've been towards you over the years, and I'm not just saying this because of your current situation. I was simply a total ass back then in general. If you want to discuss models or something I'm here for you.

e: That's good to hear, how is he today? Still relatively pain free, I hope?

[TrashMan]

Yes, we switched to morphene bands.

He is still very ludic even tough he barely speaks, but the problem is that his kideny is failing. Which means blood poisoning. Which means hallucinations are around the corner.

At this point I'm just praying for a peacefull, dignified death in sleep.

EDIT:
And I just recieved a phone call from my sisters. His condition got worse. I'm home every weekened, but I'm not sure if he'll still be around in 4 days, so I'm packing my bags.

[Flipside]

My thoughts are with you Trashman. I wish I could offer you and your family more than a hope for a peaceful end, but at least your Father will be with those who love him, and that's important.

[TrashMan]

He just passed away quitely in his sleep.

I packed my bags but I postopned my trip back, because it looked like he was getting better. My sister tells me he was sleeping the whole day, so even if I did get back, I couldn't have made any difference. Still I feel guilty.

I'm remarkably calm at the moment. So calm even I'm surprised. I'm probably going to freak out later.
I'm catching the first bus in the morning and heading home...

thank you all for your support.

[General Battuta]

Aw, jeez, dude. Good luck, and all my condolences.

[Mongoose]

Sorry to hear that.  My condolences to you and your family.

[perihelion]

I'm truly sorry for your loss.  Try not to feel guilty for not having been there at the moment it happened.  You had been spending as much of your time with him as you could, and if he is the kind of man you describe, he'd never wish for you to feel that way about it.

As Flip said, at least he was with family at the end.  At least his suffering is over.

I've been on death-watch before myself.  It's awful.  I'm sorry.

[Lorric]

I'm sorry too. I tried to write you something before, when you first posted, I wrote several things, but it all just seemed so lame. But what can you really say? It's awful. I wish you luck going forward.

[Flipside]

I will simply tell you something I said at my own Fathers funeral, wherever you go in life, whatever decisions you make, you carry him with you. He helped define who you are, and as long as you remain true to that, he is never really gone.

[Gortef]

My sincere condolences and I also wish strength to you and your family.

[TrashMan]

Having heard the complete story from my mother, I am at greater ease.

Before he died, he sang the first part of his favorite song to my mother, but couldn't sing further. My mother gave him a rosary and started a prayer, he joined her (he couldn't speak, but his mouth moved). When the prayer was done he smiled and passed away.
He died smiling and content, and that gives me solace. Today, I was finally able to cry.

On his funeral tomorrow practicly 2 entire small towns will be present, plus a large number of people from a third one and various other people from other towns. The cemetery won't be able to hold them all.
He was pillar of not just the immediate family, but also the extended one and the entire community.

[perihelion]

Would that we all were able to go out that peacefully.

[Lorric]

Would that we all were able to go out that peacefully.

And touch so many lives.