Since this thread is getting many views but very few replies, here are the answers.
1. Phartiphukborlz
2. Exactly the way that bricks don't
3. A liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
4. The Gugugvants and the Vl'Hurgs
5. They are accidentally swallowed by a small dog
6. President of the Imperial Galactic Government (the term Imperial is kept, though it is now an anachronism.)
7. Zaphod's father being ZB the 2nd, his grandfather being ZB the 3rd, and so on. (And I don't mean Zylon Bane)
8. One becomes an innocent sperm whale, and the other a bowl of petunias.
Oh and stryke 9, "has nothing to do with modding"
Quote from UT's Another Day At HLP,
Newbie 1: WOW? what does that have to do with modding?