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Author Topic: OT: Useless Superheroes!  (Read 6350 times)

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Offline Mad Bomber

  • Booooom
  • 210
OT: Useless Superheroes!
on: July 22, 2002, 09:06:53 am
Come up with useless superheroes that could exist, and give what their superpowers are! :D (I'm expecting Thunder or Shrike to own this fairly quickly)

Tuna Man (With the power to command tuna, despite living near Albany, where there are none)
Diabetic Gerald Ford Girl (With the power to fall over and need insulin)
Captain 3-Toed Sloth (With the power to... move slowly)
The Human Bong (This is rather self-explanatory. He is a hit with stoner chicks, though.)
Unhurtable Man (In reality, he just has leprosy.)
The Incredible Flying Cow (Stopping crime with its Udder of Justice!)


Go on, add more... :D

And yes, this topic proves that I am certifiably insane. :D
"What the hell!? I've got a Snuffleupagus on my scanners! The Snuffleupagus is active!"
 

Offline vyper

  • 210
  • The Sexy Scotsman
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #1 on: July 22, 2002, 09:23:36 am
Hmm...

Quote
Diabetic Gerald Ford Girl (With the power to fall over and need insulin)


I should kick ur ass for that one... guess why?  (no, its not 'cos of the Gerald Ford or Girl bits) Not funny.

Anyway:

The Domesticators: They don't have super-powers they just... domesticate people
"But you live, you learn.  Unless you die.  Then you're ****ed." - aldo14
  

Offline TheCelestialOne

  • Man of Exceptional Taste
  • 28
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #2 on: July 22, 2002, 09:26:03 am
[glow=red]The Lawyer! [/glow]
"I also like to stomp my enemies, incite rebellions, start the occasional war, and spend lazy hours preening my battle aura."

~Supporter of the The Babylon Project~

Like Babylon 5? Like Star Trek? Like science fiction? Go HERE
 

Offline Kellan

  • Down with pansy elves!
  • 27
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/blackwater
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #3 on: July 22, 2002, 10:47:14 am
Who's been watching too much Mystery Men, then? :p
I'm OK. How are you?

Blackwater Ops Derelict Machina Terra
 

Offline TheCelestialOne

  • Man of Exceptional Taste
  • 28
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #4 on: July 22, 2002, 10:49:58 am
Quote
Originally posted by Kellan
Who's been watching too much Mystery Men, then? :p


What is "Mystery Men"? :confused:

I've been watching Matlock! MUHAHAHA... errr... not!
"I also like to stomp my enemies, incite rebellions, start the occasional war, and spend lazy hours preening my battle aura."

~Supporter of the The Babylon Project~

Like Babylon 5? Like Star Trek? Like science fiction? Go HERE
 

Offline Mad Bomber

  • Booooom
  • 210
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #5 on: July 22, 2002, 10:54:08 am
Quote
Originally posted by Kellan
Who's been watching too much Mystery Men, then? :p


That movie was nowhere near as good as it could have been, given the people who were in it. But no that's not where I got the idea. :D
"What the hell!? I've got a Snuffleupagus on my scanners! The Snuffleupagus is active!"
 

Offline Stryke 9

  • Village Person
    Reset count: 4
  • 211
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #6 on: July 22, 2002, 11:01:27 am
Webpage. Yes.
 

Offline penguin

  • Eudyptes codus
  • 28
  • Still alive.
OT: Useless Superheroes!
Reply #7 on: July 22, 2002, 11:43:49 am
From "Action League Now!" on Nickelodeon (these are all from memory, so I'm sure to screw a few of them up):
    The Flesh - he's super big, he's super naked
    Thunder Girl - she flies like thunder
    Melt Man - with the ability to... melt
    Stinky Diver (forgot what they said about him, except that he got flushed down a few toilets)
    [/list]And I can't remember if there's anyone else... :confused:
    your source code slave
     

    Offline Mad Bomber

    • Booooom
    • 210
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #8 on: July 22, 2002, 12:54:47 pm
    Well, there was the Mayor...


    Cmon, come up with some more! Make them up or something!
    "What the hell!? I've got a Snuffleupagus on my scanners! The Snuffleupagus is active!"
     

    Offline Dark_4ce

    • GTVA comedy relief
    • 27
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #9 on: July 22, 2002, 01:24:04 pm
    Captain Microsoft!

    Hmm... He might actually be a useless super villain. :D
    I have returned... Again...
     

    Offline Pera

    • Tapper
    • 28
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #10 on: July 22, 2002, 01:24:21 pm
    The Superprole! , hero of the workers!

    And in case someone is wondering, no, I didn't make this up :p
    One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

    The Apocalypse Project
     

    Offline an0n

    • Banned again
    • 211
    • Emo Hunter
      • http://nodewar.penguinbomb.com/forum
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #11 on: July 22, 2002, 01:26:56 pm
    Someone should post the list we made on the IRC.
    "I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
    "an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
    ~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com
     

    Offline 01010

    • 26
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #12 on: July 22, 2002, 01:27:56 pm
    Quote
    Originally posted by Mad Bomber
    Well, there was the Mayor...


    Cmon, come up with some more! Make them up or something!



    The Amazingly Pointless Doodler:  With the power to doodle completely pointless things.
    What frequency are you getting? Is it noise or sweet sweet music? - Refused - Liberation Frequency.
     

    Offline penguin

    • Eudyptes codus
    • 28
    • Still alive.
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #13 on: July 22, 2002, 01:41:06 pm
    OK, how about:

    CODER MAN  He sits on his ass all day, and drinks coffee and Cokes, and reads the HLP forums when he's supposed to be working.
    your source code slave
     

    Offline Blue Lion

    • Star Shatterer
    • 210
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #14 on: July 22, 2002, 01:44:16 pm
    Double Jointed Man :p

    Non-flammable Hair Man

    Cup Holder Man

    Ice Cream Headache Intolerant Man
     

    Offline Kellan

    • Down with pansy elves!
    • 27
      • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/blackwater
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #15 on: July 22, 2002, 01:46:27 pm
    Quote
    Originally posted by Mad Bomber
    That movie was nowhere near as good as it could have been, given the people who were in it. But no that's not where I got the idea. :D


    I agree. It was an awful film. :blah:

    And I think that the most obvious superhero for this thread that everyone has missed is:

    SPAM MAN!

    :p
    I'm OK. How are you?

    Blackwater Ops Derelict Machina Terra
     

    Offline SlipStream

    • 27
      • http://www.KIITHPAKTU.com
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #16 on: July 22, 2002, 01:56:01 pm
    The Great Sea Otter= The Gret Sea Otter is a very formiddable foe. He can catch fish in a single bound.  

    Ummm..... yea



    ^
    |
    Link to the Kiith Paktu website

     

    Offline Blue Lion

    • Star Shatterer
    • 210
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #17 on: July 22, 2002, 01:59:19 pm
    The Bilingual mute!

    Middle Aged Man!
     

    Offline Kellan

    • Down with pansy elves!
    • 27
      • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/blackwater
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #18 on: July 22, 2002, 02:02:35 pm
    Quote
    Originally posted by Blue Lion
    Middle Aged Man!


    Now that I like. Meets foes; has crises; runs away with nearby woman half his age. The city gets destroyed, but it never did anything for HIM except swallow up half his life in an unfulfilling marriage and ungrateful kids, right?

    RIGHT?

    Oh yeah, and he's angry. But only in a futile, middle-aged way. :D
    I'm OK. How are you?

    Blackwater Ops Derelict Machina Terra
     

    Offline TheCelestialOne

    • Man of Exceptional Taste
    • 28
    OT: Useless Superheroes!
    Reply #19 on: July 22, 2002, 02:34:49 pm
    [SIZE=10].[/SIZE] « Dot man! He ends not only your lines... Also your life!
    "I also like to stomp my enemies, incite rebellions, start the occasional war, and spend lazy hours preening my battle aura."

    ~Supporter of the The Babylon Project~

    Like Babylon 5? Like Star Trek? Like science fiction? Go HERE
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