So, does anyone have a game critic they are comfortable with? Someone where you at least know what they're a sucker for and who doesn't waste your time or write like they're trying to be some sort of transparent automaton for ranking things? I enjoy the ZP videos too, but I agree they are more about him being clever than giving an honest recommendation.
As for critics being too positive/negative, I like Roger Ebert's writing on the topic. Hopefully we're now developing game critics who can communicate as openly as he did. Also, props to the Little Man.
Opening note: I judge games on gameplay. I do enjoy stories and plot, but you could have the most amazing premise and story in the world but if your gameplay sucks, I'm going to hate it.
I actually enjoy watching TotalBiscuit videos. He knows his stuff and isn't afraid to talk about it. Case in point, Tribes Ascend. Being an old Tribes player, I was nodding along with a lot of his points and it inspired me to pick up the game myself. Until the developers started getting microtransaction-happy, I loved it.
Even then, I watch his videos rarely. I also don't waste time with official reviews anymore. Often I'll look at the aggregate on Steam or gameplay trailers and listed features. Then I combine that with word of mouth and wind up making a smart choice.
The problem with reviews is that player tastes are subjective. If I did read game reviews instead of doing my usual thing, I would have bought Gone Home. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy games that tell a story, but it turns out I dodged a bullet with Gone Home because from what my mates told me, I would have found it boring and far too short. It just wasn't a game for me.
In the end, player tastes are too subjective and there's too many alternatives to Kotaku/Polygon/Whathaveyou style reviews for them to hold much sway anymore.