Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: sayoqod on January 25, 2011, 09:46:47 pm
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Preface: For English, I had to write a formal apology to someone...anyone. This is that apology. This is meant for funsies, but if you feel you absolutely MUST critique my writing, you may. Note: I'm aware I suck at conclusions.
My most humble colleague, friend, and roommate, I would like to thank you first of all for taking this time out of your ever-pressing and busy life to listen to what I hope you will perceive as an earnest and truly compassionate appeal. I must confess to you a matter that has caused me – and, I’m quite sure, you – a great deal of fitful unrest. I admit, the matter has kept me awake at night, struggling to bear the grief of the crimes that I am too aware have been committed. I can only pray that you will forgive me for the gross transgressions that have passed in your presence.
The place in which we live has been defiled, soiled by this person so unfit to even wipe the dirt off of your precious shoes. You, in all of your masterful glory can surely not comprehend what it is to be a lowly pauper such as myself, but I hope that, in this case, you will allow me to be better, to attempt to bring myself up to a level that is acceptable to your refined palate.
There is only one way for me to accomplish the enormous feat of becoming even remotely comparable to the excellent person you are, so that I might not remain the blight on your existence that you feel I am today, and that is through painstaking effort and study on my part. I ask not that you teach me (for I am sure that would cause an even greater inconvenience than does my current presence), only that you continue to be a ray of hope, a beacon of light showing me the way to the person that I desperately wish to be.
I will follow your ever-shining example of what a truly great roommate is. I will pray for the strength and power of will necessary to change myself however I deem necessary to become a mogul of social awareness, someone fit to reside with the likes of you.
In time, I feel, we will have achieved a state of coexistence to be admired and desired by all who hear of it. Our prosperous and triumphant dorm will gain a reputation as being in a perfect state of equanimity. Others will flock to it, and to us, hoping to learn of our secrets, of the methods necessary to become like us. We will serve as the standard to which all other dorms are held. This, and much more, I will bring about for us. May it soon be so.
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:ha:
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you don't even mention what you're apologizing for
in fact it's all rhetoric
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you don't even mention what you're apologizing for
in fact it's all rhetoric
That was the purpose of the assignment, it was an exercise in rhetoric.
I think it was fairly obvious that I was apologized for just generally being a shoddy roommate in general, anyway
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it was supposed to be an apology for bringing down the average coolness of our dorm room by being so lame
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You had beer coming out of my nose at esteemed roommate.
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You had beer coming out of my nose at esteemed roommate.
I'll take that as the compliment I hope it was intended to be
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You don't have to mention what you're apologizing for. Not mentioning it makes the letter more personal, because it builds on the shared knowledge of the two of you - the others needn't know it.
You start by addressing the addressed directly, and that's good. The beginning is solid as well. It's a good idea to show your appreciation to your roommate, or to anyone you address. By the end of the first paragraph you had already gained your "audience's" sympathy, and that's the purpose of the beginning of a rhetoric act.
It's also good that you make promises to live up to her expectations; however, I think you put way too much emphasis on it. Your apology suggests to me that you're willing to become Zack's subordinate, and it's inconsistent with the concluding paragraph. Instead, I suggest you mention an earlier hardship that you two managed to overcome together. Don't make it too specific though - remember: you're building on shared knowledge. Then reiterate - briefly - your earlier promise. Then finish by pointing towards the future - the two of you will overcome difficulties again. No matter what's ahead of you, the two of you are inseparable.
Your vocabulary is impressive. However, that doesn't mean you must use the widest possible range of vocabulary, rhetoric assignment or not. Rhetorics isn't just about using the most eloquent register of your language to convey any message. If your instructor demands bombastic words, then the assignment is bad. A personal letter - even if it's an apology - doesn't call for such language. This style is closer to eulogies than anything else.
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I was waiting for the conclusion as to what horrible transgression you committed, alas it did not come. I was disappoint.
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If an apology is needed, apologise, no need to post it on a public forum really. Either you can sort out your differences or you cannot, but debasing yourself in public is something you may find you regret later ;) Also, and maybe it's just my age speaking here, I find the concept of 'Dorm Pride' mildly amusing :p
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If an apology is needed, apologise, no need to post it on a public forum really. Either you can sort out your differences or you cannot, but debasing yourself in public is something you may find you regret later ;) Also, and maybe it's just my age speaking here, I find the concept of 'Dorm Pride' mildly amusing :p
It was a joke, Flipside :P I didn't do anything, I just had no ideas for this assignment, and this is what iaz came up with. I thought it would be fun, and it was. And "Dorm Pride" was absolutely supposed to be silly, I'm glad you saw it that way
...
It's also good that you make promises to live up to her expectations; however, I think you put way too much emphasis on it. Your apology suggests to me that you're willing to become Zack's subordinate, and it's inconsistent with the concluding paragraph. Instead, I suggest you mention an earlier hardship that you two managed to overcome together. Don't make it too specific though - remember: you're building on shared knowledge. Then reiterate - briefly - your earlier promise. Then finish by pointing towards the future - the two of you will overcome difficulties again. No matter what's ahead of you, the two of you are inseparable.
Your vocabulary is impressive. However, that doesn't mean you must use the widest possible range of vocabulary, rhetoric assignment or not. Rhetorics isn't just about using the most eloquent register of your language to convey any message. If your instructor demands bombastic words, then the assignment is bad. A personal letter - even if it's an apology - doesn't call for such language. This style is closer to eulogies than anything else.
I didn't think much of the style, but I was supposed to base it on the apologetic speech given by Clinton after he was revealed to be a liar after the "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" debacle. You're free to disagree, of course, but this is how I viewed that speech.
The vocabulary wasn't because it was a rhetoric assignment, that's just how I write and occasionally when not on the internet. :P But I take your point.
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Those sort of things don't work ;) It didn't really help Clinton.
Apologies should really be done face to face if possible, letters come back to haunt you. And posting them publicly simply looks like self-debasement. The only time a written apology should be needed by people is in an official capacity, but when apologising to friends, apologise as a friend, and expect as much as you give.
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Those sort of things don't work ;) It didn't really help Clinton.
Apologies should really be done face to face if possible, letters come back to haunt you. And posting them publicly simply looks like self-debasement. The only time a written apology should be needed by people is in an official capacity, but when apologising to friends, apologise as a friend, and expect as much as you give.
I agree. Clinton's speech was bull****. That was more or less what I was trying to convey.
I'm unsure if you're just making a point or if you didn't catch my response, but it wasn't actually an apology. It was supposed to be a sort of script for a speech I would give to zack. And again, it wasn't actually serious. But I quite agree with your point.
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"Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness."
-Leroy Jethro Gibbs
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Yup, I realised it was a test after I posted, so I was sort of trying to rework my answer from a critical perspective rather than a personal one ;)
"Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness."
-Leroy Jethro Gibbs
LEEEEEEROY er....... GIBBS!
sorry :nervous:
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Yup, I realised it was a test after I posted, so I was sort of trying to rework my answer from a critical perspective rather than a personal one ;)
Ahh, quite fair enough.
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Heh, if I'd read the thread through, I wouldn't have had to backpedal so fast anyway ;)
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Heh, if I'd read the thread through, I wouldn't have had to backpedal so fast anyway ;)
I doubt you're the only one who scanned for the point and then posted :P
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Woah, wait...you're Zack's roommate? :eek2: Wow, that's what I get for being 100 pages behind in WHIYL.
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Yup, roommies. It's teh greatest
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Yup, roommies. It's teh greatest
just curious, have either of you ever actually played freespace or any battletech game?
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Ummm, Zack said she tried Freespace. I have not.
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...then how did you get here? Oh, and I vomited after the first sentence. I hate gushy ****.
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You don't have to mention what you're apologizing for. Not mentioning it makes the letter more personal, because it builds on the shared knowledge of the two of you - the others needn't know it.
This is an extremely bad plan, for the record. It is typically viewed as an effort to not actually admit fault in my experience.
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...then how did you get here? Oh, and I vomited after the first sentence. I hate gushy ****.
iamzack's (ex?) boyfriend is turambar
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VERY much ex
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You don't have to mention what you're apologizing for. Not mentioning it makes the letter more personal, because it builds on the shared knowledge of the two of you - the others needn't know it.
This is an extremely bad plan, for the record. It is typically viewed as an effort to not actually admit fault in my experience.
That's exactly the point, though. In Clinton's apology speech, he said he had erred, but he never actually took back his famous quote. He didn't admit to sleeping with her. Since I based mine off of that speech, it's appropriate that I didn't admit anything specifically, either.
...then how did you get here? Oh, and I vomited after the first sentence. I hate gushy ****.
Zack pushed me to try out the forum. Having fun so far. Sorry to mush you out :P
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That's exactly the point, though. In Clinton's apology speech, he said he had erred, but he never actually took back his famous quote. He didn't admit to sleeping with her. Since I based mine off of that speech, it's appropriate that I didn't admit anything specifically, either.
Oh, I'm not disagreeing with you, or with your choice of base speech. Being aware of what you've chosen I recognize why you made that decision. I'm simply pointing out that TopAce is Doing It WrongTM in interpersonal relations, in a semi-vain hope I might save him or others trouble.
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You don't have to mention what you're apologizing for. Not mentioning it makes the letter more personal, because it builds on the shared knowledge of the two of you - the others needn't know it.
This is an extremely bad plan, for the record. It is typically viewed as an effort to not actually admit fault in my experience.
Looks like you haven't bothered to even read the letter. It's all about admitting fault. You're disagreeing with me for the sake of disagreeing with me.
I knew right away when I saw you posted in this thread that you'll post something like that. You're too predictable.
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To be honest, I'm really not a fan of apologies which are like 'wow, you are such a legend, why don't you bend over so I, this feeble, worthless frame, can fire this light bazooka up your ass?' Even if it is a joke, it makes me go bleargh.
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Well, if the point of the exercise was to flex your eloquence muscles, that's one thing. If it had to sound like a sincere apology.. Let me put it this way. If something like this was directed at me, I would assume it was sarcastic and probably be even more pissed off at the author than I was before the apology. There's simply too much groveling in it to take it seriously.
In short, to me that letter says "the author is either being really sarcastic, having a go at his room mate, or if this is serious we're talking about someone with no self esteem whatsoever". It's one thing to honestly apologize for a mistake you've made, and entirely another to take it to complete extremes, making yourself look like a worthless worm not worthy of being stepped on by the glorious foot of your esteemed subject of apology. It's just too much.
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Looks like you haven't bothered to even read the letter. It's all about admitting fault. You're disagreeing with me for the sake of disagreeing with me.
I knew right away when I saw you posted in this thread that you'll post something like that. You're too predictable.
You could maybe try reading the posting above you rather than throwing around unsubstantiated assertions?
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It's uhm.. fairly obvious that it's sarcasm..
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It's uhm.. fairly obvious that it's sarcasm..
Consider how he went off on The_E in the recent past, I am unconvinced. :P
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It's uhm.. fairly obvious that it's sarcasm..
Consider how he went off on The_E in the recent past, I am unconvinced. :P
erh, who? I'm talking about sayo's essay.
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erh, who? I'm talking about sayo's essay.
Quoting prevents confusion. Of course, I suspect you like confusion. :P
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erh, who? I'm talking about sayo's essay.
Quoting prevents confusion. Of course, I suspect you like confusion. :P
or the Rhombus of Terror, Porabala of Mystery!
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The Dodecahedron of Deception!
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erh, who? I'm talking about sayo's essay.
Quoting prevents confusion. Of course, I suspect you like confusion. :P
or the Rhombus of Terror, Porabala of Mystery!
That doesn't seem physically possible!
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Mika makes a mental note that they should add in the University curriculum a course called "Sarcasm 101", a course that is not about writing sarcasm, but a course about reading and noticing sarcasm. Also included should be "Discussion 101", a course about detecting sarcasm in real time, real life talks! The rest of the people need not apply, as this problem seems to stem mainly from the Universities.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2jNjOPdk ;)
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Mika makes a mental note that they should add in the University curriculum a course called "Sarcasm 101", a course that is not about writing sarcasm, but a course about reading and noticing sarcasm. Also included should be "Discussion 101", a course about detecting sarcasm in real time, real life talks! The rest of the people need not apply, as this problem seems to stem mainly from the Universities.
Sarcasm is an extensive subject. Perhaps there should be a 200-level class, as well. "Special Topics in Sarcasm", "Sarcasm and Society", "Sarcasm in Modern Works"....of course, this is speaking from the perspective of someone whose college offers both Beginning and Advanced Clogging.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2jNjOPdk ;)
Amazing. Thank you for that.
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Hey, it's the internet. I've seen far too many things that I initially thought were sarcasm and then saw that yes, it was really *that* stupid. And I've actually dealt with people from this forum who grovel about as much, so.. incredible? Yes. Impossible? No. With that sort of experience and absolutely no way of knowing who or what the person hiding behind a nick I never saw before is, it's sort of easy to miss..
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You don't have to mention what you're apologizing for. Not mentioning it makes the letter more personal, because it builds on the shared knowledge of the two of you - the others needn't know it.
This is an extremely bad plan, for the record. It is typically viewed as an effort to not actually admit fault in my experience.
Looks like you haven't bothered to even read the letter. It's all about admitting fault. You're disagreeing with me for the sake of disagreeing with me.
I knew right away when I saw you posted in this thread that you'll post something like that. You're too predictable.
But it's not about admitting the fault. It's abject groveling, and there's a huge difference. Namely the latter allows you to "apologize" without admitting exactly what you've really done wrong.
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Sarcasm is an extensive subject. Perhaps there should be a 200-level class, as well. "Special Topics in Sarcasm", "Sarcasm and Society", "Sarcasm in Modern Works"....of course, this is speaking from the perspective of someone whose college offers both Beginning and Advanced Clogging.
:lol:
I would say there is an absolute need for better education about this subject as the detection of sarcasm is generally an easily learned skill and doesn't require any sort of gifts in perception. There is so much well written sarcasm in the Modern Works that it is almost overwhelming, not to mention the absolutely chilling usage of Irony and Satire. As a personal observation, there seems to be a trend that the sarcasm detection capabilities decrease as the people get older, so I suggest something like "Sarcasm for Seniors" too. At least I would participate if such course happened, as I cannot write sarcasm, at least in a way that it could be actually funny.
Recalling the earlier response I had, if the above text seems somehow irritating, or even insulting, it definitely wasn't my meaning and I sincerely apologize for it.
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I'm not at all insulted, I quite agree. Many people don't even know that subtle sarcasm exists, just because they don't recognize it :P
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I'm not at all insulted, I quite agree. Many people don't even know that subtle sarcasm exists, just because they don't recognize it
:lol: :lol: :lol:
This is getting to pretty high level stuff, isn't it?
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I'm not at all insulted, I quite agree. Many people don't even know that subtle sarcasm exists, just because they don't recognize it
:lol: :lol: :lol:
This is getting to pretty high level stuff, isn't it?
Maybe. In any case, I think this thread has served its purpose. :P