[Sandwich]

Ran across this quote, and I just had to share it with all you korekt spelurs out there...   I didn't stop laughing for about five minutes!

 

A 20-year plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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[Stryke 9]

I dunno, wass rong wit dat spellin'? We awl speaks lak that heah!

OK, that wasn't funny. I can't find anything to mock here, either, though, so anyway...

[Joey_21]

Huh?  

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[Taristin]

 

Originally posted by Stryke 9:
I dunno, wass rong wit dat spellin'? We awl speaks lak that heah!

OK, that wasn't funny. I can't find anything to mock here, either, though, so anyway...

I think you may have missed the point...  

[Kazan]

If you read it slowly and carefully you'll sound like you have a heavy german accent by the end

[Taristin]

 

Originally posted by Kazan:
If you read it slowly and carefully you'll sound like you have a heavy german accent by the end

...


You're right!  

[Kazan]

i recorded a soundbyte of the last sentance for Joey ... i paused on "xrewawt" and prolly changed the word because i couldn't quite figure it out

[edit]i think it's "Throughout"

[This message has been edited by Kazan (edited 07-27-2001).]

[Taristin]

Yeah, I can't figure it out either...

[Sushi]

 
ROFLOL
Thank you Twain, and thank you Sandwich for finding that. I think I'll stop laughing in a few minutes.  



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[Fineus]

 

[Grey Wolf]

Read these:
   

Eurolanguage Year 2000
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish [Euro for
short].

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly,
sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be
replased with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replased by 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which ahve always
ben a deternent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of silent 'e' in the languaj is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the forth uer, peopl wil be receptiv to steps such as replasing the
'th' by 'z' and the 'w' by 'v'. During the fifz uer, ze unesesary 'o' kan
be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes nud of kors be
splid to ozeer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli senisbl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor tubls or difikultis and avrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Another amusing thing:
The Evil Emperor Handbook

All hail the Forward Garden!

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[This message has been edited by Grey Wolf 2009 (edited 07-27-2001).]

[Jabu]

It's times like this when I wish I could register TextAloud  

[Setekh]

 

The English language. Don't you love it?  

[Joey_21]

We're going to become foreigners of our own language soon!  

[Sandwich]

And you wonder why text-to-speech is still so icky.