[Martinus]

[color=66ff00]
I have to admit that I found that site to be comically inspired, the only thing that worries me is that the more gullable citizens of starship earth will actually take it seriously and either force their kitties into a jar or start a riot.
[/color]

In the guestbook
After sucessfully following the procedures so eloquently described on your site I have produced my first bonsai kitten. However, I was forced to use an antique Coca-Cola bottle, which, given the dark nature of the kittens colouring, is easily mistaken for 'The Real Thing' (As Coke were correct in saying in their registered trademark). Now the reason for my technical query: A friend mistakenly drank from the bonsai 'cola', pouring himself a fresh serving from the carefully placed waste tube at the neck of the bottle (a stylistic plus to the bonsai features I'm sure you'll agree). This has dislodged the kitten from it's intended position, somewhat ruining the display, but more worryingly has dislodged the otherwise working diverticulum. I'm hesitant to attempt the diversion procedure again as the kitten is nearing the age where further body manipulation would be a tricky procedure to perform. I would gratefully appreciate your considered opinion as to the best methods of reinstating the kitten to its intended position (thus, returning the display to its former glory) and how best to deal with the diverticulum issue.

 

Dear Gareth,

Unwanted post-insertion shifting of the kitten is rare when proper insertion techniques are used, but cases such as yours are difficult to anticipate and prevent. When someone has invested so much time and energy in creating their own perfect Bonsai Kitten, it is understandable that they become distressed, so please don't panic -- it is by no means an unrecoverable situation. In events such as these, it is best not to try to reorient the kitten via the use of external instruments inserted through the feeding or waste holes, as the slender probes can only exert localised pressure and will only make the kitten's appearance worse. The best results that we have observed have been achieved by replacing 5% of the kitten's diet with 100 micron powdered iron for two days, and then using a strong magnet to reposition the kitten from outside the vessel.With this technique the realignment of the rectal diverticulum with the waste hole should be achievable with no difficulty at all.

[color=66ff00]
Now that's funny!
[/color]

[ZylonBane]

People who get all offended by sites like this, even after having it pointed out that it's a joke, just don't realize that the butt of the joke is them.