Consider my night of bedauchery last-night to be my celebration for you.
I got to see a hot girl pushed off by two guys because they'd rather remain friends with her ex, I got started by 1 bearded guy, 1 squaddie and 5 drunken girls, I smoked sooo much weed, drank faaaar too much JD, Gin, Martini, Stella, Becks, Fosters, Baileys and ****. My head hurts. My stomach hurts. For some ****ing reason my balls hurt.
My pal (the bearded guy) had his girlfriend and her friends at this little party and they're complete dogs as well as being total whores. One was sat out back, laying on a bench screaming "Anyone want a ****? I need a dick in me!" so I shouted "No thanks, love. We've got standards." and her friend goes "You ****ing ass-hole, your standards are so low I don't even wanna think about it." so I just went "Ah, you see my point.". So they were rather hostile to me for the rest of the night.
The same girl was getting off with the hosts little brother and her friend marches into the front room where the host and I are sat talking and she goes "Your brother is going for it with Rachel.", then, in possibly the only moment of true genius this guy has ever had, he sits up and chokes through his laughter "Oh, God! I can't wait till he wakes up in the morning!". I was just sat pissing myself for like 10 minutes.
All in all, an awesome night. Though we never got around to shaving the dog.