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Author Topic: Campaign jokes  (Read 4182 times)

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Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
on: July 14, 2003, 01:14:56 pm
I'm thinking of adding some humor to my campaign (but not DEM-style humor) by throwing in jokes every now and then. For example, I mentioned a joke about Duke Nukem Forever being released in my campaign.

I also came up with these jokes:

Prologue mission, where you play on the GTVA side defect to the TSA:

TSCv Fury: "We are the Terran-Shivan Alliance. Your existence, as you know it, is over. You will lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your cultural and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your ships and weapons will adapt to serve us. Um, uh, what was that last line again?"

TSD Euryale: "It's 'resistance is futile', idiot. Haven't you watched Star Trek?"

TSCv Fury: "Well, no..."

TSD Euryale: "*sigh*"

Alpha 2: "What a bunch of retards."

Alpha 1: 'Yeah. I bet they're a pushover."

TSD Euryale: "We just made complete and total asses of ourselves. Lovely."

In one mission, you're ambushed by three HoL Sobeks, and Command shouts "It's a trap!" and instead of the usual command head ani, you'll see Admiral Ackbar.

And I might even add a Bosch beer mission...
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Hippo

  • Darth water-horse
  • 211
  • Grazing.
    • All Hands to War
Campaign jokes
Reply #1 on: July 14, 2003, 01:34:49 pm
VBB Survivor -- 387 Posts -- July 3 2001 - April 12 2002
VWBB Survivor -- 100 Posts -- July 10 2002 - July 10 2004
AHTW
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #2 on: July 14, 2003, 01:37:08 pm
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Tiara

  • Mrs. T, foo'!
  • 210
Campaign jokes
Reply #3 on: July 14, 2003, 01:48:35 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Woolie Wool

:lol:

Use this smilie on an Orion-texture! Enemies will laugh so hard they'll spontaniously explode :p
I AM GOD! AND I SHALL SMITE THEE!



...because I can :drevil:
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #4 on: July 14, 2003, 01:53:38 pm
Yeah, it would be kind of funny for an Orion to jump in and have this huge insane happy face on the front.:lol:
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Tiara

  • Mrs. T, foo'!
  • 210
Campaign jokes
Reply #5 on: July 14, 2003, 02:11:19 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Woolie Wool
Yeah, it would be kind of funny for an Orion to jump in and have this huge insane happy face on the front.:lol:


Enemy fight 1: "..........Sir.... They have insanely happy smilie thingies on their hull"

Enemy fighter 2: "HAHAHAHAHAH!HAHAHAHAHAH!HAHAHAHAHAH! [loss of breath] HAHAHAHAHAH!HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Enemy fighter 3: "Aaaahhh.... The effect of spacecrack..."

Enemy squad leader: "Heh, yeah. Let's just hope they forgot to get the paint out of their Flak and AAA turrets... Orions on space crack are dangerous..."

:p
I AM GOD! AND I SHALL SMITE THEE!



...because I can :drevil:
 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Campaign jokes
Reply #6 on: July 14, 2003, 02:24:19 pm
Oh, oh, make a mission as if you were under the influences of space crack! :D
 

Offline Nuclear1

  • 211
Campaign jokes
Reply #7 on: July 14, 2003, 02:45:43 pm
With happy bunnies and monkeys crawling around saying "Be Happy, Let's all be happy!" :lol:
Spoon - I stand in awe by your flawless fredding. Truely, never before have I witnessed such magnificant display of beamz.
Axem -  I don't know what I'll do with my life now. Maybe I'll become a Nun, or take up Macrame. But where ever I go... I will remember you!
Axem - Sorry to post again when I said I was leaving for good, but something was nagging me. I don't want to say it in a way that shames the campaign but I think we can all agree it is actually.. incomplete. It is missing... Voice Acting.
Quanto - I for one would love to lend my beautiful singing voice into this wholesome project.
Nuclear1 - I want a duet.
AndrewofDoom - Make it a trio!
 

Offline phreak

  • Gun Phreak
  • 211
  • -1
Campaign jokes
Reply #8 on: July 14, 2003, 02:50:07 pm
been flying the GTF Doobie lately?
Offically approved by Ebola Virus Man :wtf:
phreakscp - gtalk
phreak317#7583 - discord
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #9 on: July 14, 2003, 03:11:02 pm
No. But they might have.:lol:
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Drew

  • 29
    • http://www.galactic-quest.com
Campaign jokes
Reply #10 on: July 14, 2003, 03:57:25 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHA THATS SOOO FUNNY!!!! I JUST CANT STOP LAUGHINGGG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
errrrrr.....................

but i think the smily face orion thing would be funneh :nod:
[(WWF - steroids + ties - spandex) / Atomic Piledrivers] - viewing audience = C-SPAN

My god.. He emptied the gasoline tank from the van onto your cat, lit him on fire, threw him in the house and dove for cover.  :wtf: Family indeed.  ~ KT

Happiness is belt fed.
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #11 on: July 14, 2003, 03:58:06 pm
Don't ask.
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline karajorma

  • King Louie - Jungle VIP
  • Administrator
  • 214
    • Karajorma's Freespace FAQ
Campaign jokes
Reply #12 on: July 14, 2003, 05:12:07 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Woolie Wool
Yeah, it would be kind of funny for an Orion to jump in and have this huge insane happy face on the front.:lol:


You put the happy face on the front of anti-cap torpedos not the ship itself :D

As for the crack about DEM this is seriously starting to sound more like DEM the more you go on about it (not that it's a bad thing. I quite liked DEM :D )
Karajorma's Freespace FAQ. It's almost like asking me yourself.

[ Diaspora ] - [ Seeds Of Rebellion ] - [ Mind Games ]
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #13 on: July 14, 2003, 05:14:18 pm
Quote
Originally posted by karajorma


You put the happy face on the front of anti-cap torpedos not the ship itself :D  


Now THAT is a good idea. Put a giant yellow smiley face on the front of the Helios.:lol:
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Thorn

  • Drunk on the east coast.
  • 210
  • What is this? I don't even...
Campaign jokes
Reply #14 on: July 14, 2003, 05:18:04 pm
Something like this would be better I think :D
 

Offline SadisticSid

  • 210
    • Inferno
Campaign jokes
Reply #15 on: July 14, 2003, 05:30:14 pm
*yawn*
 

Offline kasperl

Campaign jokes
Reply #16 on: July 15, 2003, 08:21:07 am
i suggest DEM II, make a fourth race, a terran shivan alliance, use the GTD cube from Karajorma's tut, and do some of this stuff too.
just another newbie without any modding, FREDding or real programming experience

you haven't learned masochism until you've tried to read a Microsoft help file.  -- Goober5000
I've got 2 drug-addict syblings and one alcoholic whore. And I'm a ****ing sociopath --an0n
You cannot defeat Windows through strength alone. Only patience, a lot of good luck, and a sledgehammer will do the job. --StratComm
 

Offline Havock

  • 27
Campaign jokes
Reply #17 on: July 17, 2003, 03:00:46 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Tiara

:lol:

Use this smilie on an Orion-texture! Enemies will laugh so hard they'll spontaniously explode :p


i want that texture on the front of my space bombs ;7
 

Offline TopAce

  • Stalwart contributor
  • 212
  • FREDder, FSWiki editor, and tester
Campaign jokes
Reply #18 on: July 17, 2003, 03:12:09 pm
Quote
Originally posted by kasperl
....use the GTD cube from Karajorma's tut, and do some of this stuff too.


It looks Karajorma is one of the most popular men nowadays.
Make a bomber mission, when the player can get at most two Cyclops, because a drunk terrorist blown up himself in the missile storage, with a Helios on his back.

Thats mad :mad:
My community contributions - Get my campaigns from here.

I already announced my retirement twice, yet here I am. If I bring up that topic again, don't believe a word.
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Campaign jokes
Reply #19 on: July 17, 2003, 03:17:21 pm
I have decided what to do with the crazy smilie:

It will go on the front of the Armageddon anti-juggernaut bomb.
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
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