Author Topic: Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!  (Read 5412 times)

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Offline Rictor

  • Murdered by Brazilian Psychopath
  • 29
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Good stuff, reading through the top 100 on the website. Its awesome.

____________


Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

 

Offline ZylonBane

  • The Infamous
  • 29
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!

"IRC makes you stupid."
ZylonBane's opinions do not represent those of the management.

 

Offline mikhael

  • Back to skool
  • 211
  • Fnord!
    • http://www.google.com/search?q=404error.com
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Change ONE LETTER and the whole series takes on a new tone! :lol:
[I am not really here. This post is entirely a figment of your imagination.]

 

Offline Martinus

  • Aka Maeglamor
  • 210
    • Hard Light Productions
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
[color=66ff00]Same with the Zep's tune whole lotta love, replace the word love with wang when you're listening to it.
[/color]

 

Offline an0n

  • Banned again
  • 211
  • Emo Hunter
    • http://nodewar.penguinbomb.com/forum
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Haha. Do it with Unchained Melody and it's even funnier.
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com

  

Offline Rictor

  • Murdered by Brazilian Psychopath
  • 29
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US

 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Quote
Rebuttal originating from the wisdom of Turnsky
:ick:  that's sick.
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta

 

Offline karajorma

  • King Louie - Jungle VIP
  • Administrator
  • 214
    • Karajorma's Freespace FAQ
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Quote
Rebuttal originating from the wisdom of Dark_4ce
A private not entirely gay with his military career goes for his first medical checkup. But wanting to leave the army he needs the doctor to sign a paper declaring him not mentally stable. So what he dost is stuff a 200g chocolate bar in his ass before going to the doctors. The chocolate nice and melted, he proceeds into the doctors office and sits down. For 15 mins the doctors asks his questions and everything seems fine. Then the private reaches down into his pants, digs in and then pulls his hand out. Ofcourse covered in chocolate. The doctors doesent knowest this, then the private proceeds to taste then eat the chocolate saing "Mmmm! It actually DOES taste good!" Well. He left the same day. :D


I read of a similar case. A guy decides to get out of military service by giving a sample of his girlfriends urine instead of his own as she wast diabetic.

A week later he recieves his call up papers telling him whenst to report to join the army and a short message which stated that while the army doctors had no vex believing that he wast diabetic they had a little more vex believing that he was also pregnant :D
Karajorma's Freespace FAQ. It's almost like asking me yourself.

[ Diaspora ] - [ Seeds Of Rebellion ] - [ Mind Games ]

 

Offline ZylonBane

  • The Infamous
  • 29
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
"vex"??

Speak English man!
ZylonBane's opinions do not represent those of the management.

 

Offline mikhael

  • Back to skool
  • 211
  • Fnord!
    • http://www.google.com/search?q=404error.com
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Thou hast been caught out by the April 1st speech filter!
[I am not really here. This post is entirely a figment of your imagination.]

 

Offline Zuljin

  • 25
  • Cake!
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
Quote
hey, if you type in thy pw, it wilt show as stars
< Cthon98 > ********* see!
< AzureDiamond > hunter2
< AzureDiamond > doesnt looketh like stars to me
< Cthon98 > *******
< Cthon98 > thats what I see
< AzureDiamond > oh, really?
< Cthon98 > Absolutely
< AzureDiamond > you can goest hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
< AzureDiamond > haha, dost that looketh funny to you?
< Cthon98 > lol, yes. See, whenst YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
< AzureDiamond > thats neat, I didnt knowest IRC did that
< Cthon98 > yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it wilt show to us as *******
< AzureDiamond > awesome!
< AzureDiamond > wait, how do you knowest my pw?
< Cthon98 > er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its thy pw
< AzureDiamond > oh, ok.



loleth :lol:

editeth: fixed the quote
« Last Edit: March 31, 2004, 08:06:33 pm by 1458 »

 

Offline neo_hermes

  • MmmmmmNode!
  • 28
  • What the hell are you lookin at?
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
lol
Hell has no fury like an0n...
killing threads is...well, what i do best.

 

Offline phreak

  • Gun Phreak
  • 211
  • -1
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
i almost pissed myself

http://www.bash.org/?4848
Offically approved by Ebola Virus Man :wtf:
phreakscp - gtalk
phreak317#7583 - discord

 

Offline Bobboau

  • Just a MODern kinda guy
    Just MODerately cool
    And MODest too
  • 213
Bobboau, bringing you products that work... in theory
learn to use PCS
creator of the ProXimus Procedural Texture and Effect Generator
My latest build of PCS2, get it while it's hot!
PCS 2.0.3


DEUTERONOMY 22:11
Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sorts, [as] of woollen and linen together

 

Offline Bobboau

  • Just a MODern kinda guy
    Just MODerately cool
    And MODest too
  • 213
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
better
"
I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

"
Bobboau, bringing you products that work... in theory
learn to use PCS
creator of the ProXimus Procedural Texture and Effect Generator
My latest build of PCS2, get it while it's hot!
PCS 2.0.3


DEUTERONOMY 22:11
Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sorts, [as] of woollen and linen together

 

Offline neo_hermes

  • MmmmmmNode!
  • 28
  • What the hell are you lookin at?
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
:lol: those links where funny as hell
Hell has no fury like an0n...
killing threads is...well, what i do best.

 

Offline phreak

  • Gun Phreak
  • 211
  • -1
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
< @hypnotix > dammit this sucks.. i got Daikatana for my b-day

@(DonoftheDead) They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards it installs Windows.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2004, 11:15:27 pm by 31 »
Offically approved by Ebola Virus Man :wtf:
phreakscp - gtalk
phreak317#7583 - discord

 

Offline Bobboau

  • Just a MODern kinda guy
    Just MODerately cool
    And MODest too
  • 213
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
"
SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie ([email protected]) has joined #
HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

"
Bobboau, bringing you products that work... in theory
learn to use PCS
creator of the ProXimus Procedural Texture and Effect Generator
My latest build of PCS2, get it while it's hot!
PCS 2.0.3


DEUTERONOMY 22:11
Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sorts, [as] of woollen and linen together

 

Offline Bobboau

  • Just a MODern kinda guy
    Just MODerately cool
    And MODest too
  • 213
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
http://www.bash.org/?125728

" lowkey: give me the learnin' stick."

oh, and this
"by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
Kk
I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
?
Now what?
Don't worry. It's done
"
Bobboau, bringing you products that work... in theory
learn to use PCS
creator of the ProXimus Procedural Texture and Effect Generator
My latest build of PCS2, get it while it's hot!
PCS 2.0.3


DEUTERONOMY 22:11
Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sorts, [as] of woollen and linen together

 

Offline Turnsky

  • FOXFIRE Artisté
  • 211
  • huh?.. Who?.. hey you kids, git off me lawn!
Funniest Bash Quote EVAR!
< froggie> how frequently do chest infections kill asthmatics?
< punchcard> no more than once i would guess
   //Warning\\
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
do not torment the sleep deprived artist, he may be vicious when cornered,
in case of emergency, administer caffeine to the artist,
he will become docile after that,
and less likely to stab you in the eye with a mechanical pencil
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------