HLP Network

News:

HLP Donations Page has been reworked for supporting the site.
Please note that the previous "Tiers" are currently not operational (but will be worked on).
You can still cancel any previous re-occurring donations to make new ones which will go to the new Treasurer Admin (Zacam).

 
« Previous Thread Next Thread »
Print
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 Next >   Go Down

Author Topic: Ever heard of birth control?  (Read 5310 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Kazan

  • PCS2 Wizard
  • 212
  • Soul lives in the Mountains
    • http://alliance.sourceforge.net
Ever heard of birth control?
on: April 08, 2004, 06:04:52 pm
PCS2 2.0.3 | POF CS2 wiki page | Important PCS2 Threads | PCS2 Mantis

"The Mountains are calling, and I must go" - John Muir
 

Offline Corsair

  • Gull Wings Rule
  • 29
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #1 on: April 08, 2004, 06:11:02 pm
Apparently they have heard of birth control and stopped using it when they heard it could cause a miscarriage.

Quite a lively sex life...except for those nine month periods when she's pregnant.
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #2 on: April 08, 2004, 06:13:47 pm

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
 

Offline Petrarch of the VBB

  • Koala-monkey
  • 211
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #3 on: April 08, 2004, 06:15:39 pm
"Stan! I haven't been pregnant this year! Get upstairs."
 

Offline vyper

  • 210
  • The Sexy Scotsman
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #4 on: April 08, 2004, 06:15:40 pm
Poor kids will have a serious attention disorder when older :lol:
"But you live, you learn.  Unless you die.  Then you're ****ed." - aldo14
 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #5 on: April 08, 2004, 06:16:44 pm
One more and they have a full team with subs bench, too.
 

Offline Kazan

  • PCS2 Wizard
  • 212
  • Soul lives in the Mountains
    • http://alliance.sourceforge.net
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #6 on: April 08, 2004, 06:16:53 pm
and probably discipline problems
PCS2 2.0.3 | POF CS2 wiki page | Important PCS2 Threads | PCS2 Mantis

"The Mountains are calling, and I must go" - John Muir
 

Offline Corsair

  • Gull Wings Rule
  • 29
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #7 on: April 08, 2004, 06:20:53 pm
:lol: Aldo did you make that up or are you quoting from somewhere??
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline Rictor

  • Murdered by Brazilian Psychopath
  • 29
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #8 on: April 08, 2004, 06:21:11 pm
And people ask, "Why is Jim Bob Duggar building himself an army?"

Bah, it doesn't work with a name so stupid.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2004, 06:23:53 pm by 644 »
 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #9 on: April 08, 2004, 06:28:34 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
:lol: Aldo did you make that up or are you quoting from somewhere??


alas, I'm not that good.

Monty Python & the Meaning of Life.
 

Offline 01010

  • 26
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #10 on: April 08, 2004, 06:29:18 pm
Bet christmas is a ****ing nightmare.
What frequency are you getting? Is it noise or sweet sweet music? - Refused - Liberation Frequency.
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #11 on: April 08, 2004, 06:31:06 pm
Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14

*snip stupid poem*


Actually, in normal intercourse, most of the sperm ARE wasted. 200 million are ejaculated, but all but a couple hundred die before they reach the egg. Most of the rest die by slamming into the egg's protective membranes and cells and rupturing themselves, releasing enzymes that digest the layers around the egg until it is possible for a sperm to get through. And only one actually gets in. In many cases, ALL of the sperm die, which is why it can take many tries to produce a baby.
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline an0n

  • Banned again
  • 211
  • Emo Hunter
    • http://nodewar.penguinbomb.com/forum
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #12 on: April 08, 2004, 06:32:31 pm
I should stab you in the face just for calling it a poem, let alone a stupid poem.
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #13 on: April 08, 2004, 06:34:29 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
Apparently they have heard of birth control and stopped using it when they heard it could cause a miscarriage.


Wow, maybe it causes miscarriages because it's BIRTH CONTROL. They take pills designed to prevent the birth of babies, and then they go complaining that the pills are preventing them from having a baby? Since they were having miscarriages, they were likely taking RU-486, which is designed to--gasp--cause a miscarriage! Shocking!:rolleyes:
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline Woolie Wool

  • 211
  • Fire main batteries
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #14 on: April 08, 2004, 06:36:40 pm
Quote
Originally posted by an0n
I should stab you in the face just for calling it a poem, let alone a stupid poem.


Well, it could be a song or a poem depending on whether you recite it in notes or not. Then again, I didn't grow up around people who badger me not to "waste" sperm, never mind that even if you never ever ejaculate, the sperm is "wasted" because the sperm cells are destroyed to be reconstituted if they linger too long. I don't even see what's wrong with "wasting sperm" since you produce hundreds of millions of the things EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why aren't they so concerned about egg cells, since a woman only gets 400 viable eggs and when they're gone, they're gone?
« Last Edit: April 08, 2004, 06:39:35 pm by 1099 »
16:46   Quanto   ****, a mosquito somehow managed to bite the side of my palm
16:46   Quanto   it itches like hell
16:46   Woolie   !8ball does Quanto have malaria
16:46   BotenAnna   Woolie: The outlook is good.
16:47   Quanto   D:

"did they use anesthetic when they removed your sense of humor or did you have to weep and struggle like a tiny baby"
--General Battuta
 

Offline 01010

  • 26
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #15 on: April 08, 2004, 06:39:48 pm
Wow woolie, you really must be one of a kind.
What frequency are you getting? Is it noise or sweet sweet music? - Refused - Liberation Frequency.
 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #16 on: April 08, 2004, 06:43:56 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Woolie Wool


Well, it could be a song or a poem depending on whether you recite it in notes or not. Then again, I didn't grow up around people who badger me not to "waste" sperm, never mind that even if you never ever ejaculate, the sperm is "wasted" because the sperm cells are destroyed to be reconstituted if they linger too long. I don't even see what's wrong with "wasting sperm" since you produce hundreds of millions of the things EVERY SINGLE DAY. Why aren't they so concerned about egg cells, since a woman only gets 400 viable eggs and when they're gone, they're gone?


:rolleyes:

M_O_N_T_Y   P_Y_T_H_O_N

Geddit?

numpty
 

Offline vyper

  • 210
  • The Sexy Scotsman
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #17 on: April 08, 2004, 06:44:54 pm
:lol: Oh so true...
"But you live, you learn.  Unless you die.  Then you're ****ed." - aldo14
 

Offline Petrarch of the VBB

  • Koala-monkey
  • 211
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #18 on: April 08, 2004, 06:52:35 pm
Are doctors now surgically removing the sense of humour at birth?
 

Offline Kazan

  • PCS2 Wizard
  • 212
  • Soul lives in the Mountains
    • http://alliance.sourceforge.net
Ever heard of birth control?
Reply #19 on: April 08, 2004, 06:54:50 pm
yeah they do it to males right after removing something else
PCS2 2.0.3 | POF CS2 wiki page | Important PCS2 Threads | PCS2 Mantis

"The Mountains are calling, and I must go" - John Muir
Print
Pages: [1] 2 3 4 Next >   Go Up
« Previous Thread Next Thread »