no one did it soooo...
Welcome to the HLPBB, Manic
Exits are to the sides and rear, you will find a personal flamethrower under your seat, but we're out of napalm so you'll have to bludgeon people with them. Stay away from the air vents they're... dangerous, but if you happen to be crawling around in them and find something black & red & spiky, it's just Carl. Give him your lunch and back away slowly and he should leave you alone. In the event of a serious war/battle/etc. there are plasma rifles in the lockers up front. However these can only be opened by [V], God, an Admin, or a hyper-intelligent shade of the colour blue. Do not attempt to enter the control room as it is guarded by subspatial claymore mines. Thank you and enjoy your stay.
*pant pant* I think that's it... whatever