Originally posted by kasperl
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer
in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
courtesy of: http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/lawyers.html
[color=66ff00]My brother studies law and his girlfriend graduated last year and is now with a firm. *prints out the entire archive of lawyer jokes*
A panda bear decides to go for a night on the rip so he grabs his wallet and heads for the nearest nightclub, he has a good night and is heading home when he is approached by a woman who asks him "do you want to come back to my place for some fun?". He decides that yes, this is a good idea and follows the woman.
They get back to her house and the woman tells him that she's going upstairs to slip into something more comfortable and that he should make himself at home. He immediately raids the refrigeratior and is halfway through gorging himself when he gets a call to come upstairs.
He jumps into bed with the woman and they get it on. 10 minutes later he's finishing his cigarette and he gets up to leave. The woman says "hey you have to pay me!". The panda asks why so she tells him that she's a prostitiute and that he should check the dictionary for proof. She hands him one and points out the word prostitute:
pros·ti·tute
noun
One who solicits and accepts payment for sex acts.
The panda promptly tells her that it doesn't matter he won't pay her, she gets very angry and asks why. The panda flicks through the dictonary and finds:
pan·da
noun
Eats shoots and leaves.
*runs*
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