[LOKO]

Ok in this thread u goto post 1 joke.

there are two men talking in a bar, 1 is a taxman, anyways the taxman ask's the guys so what do u do for a living, and guys says I'm a gambler, what do u mean ur a gambler, I make my living from gambling, and the taxman look at him suspiciously, and the guys says here I'll show u, I'll bet u $50 that I can bite my eye, and the taxman look's at him wierd and say okay ur on, and the guys take out his glass eye and bite's it, and then put it's back, and the taxman say sheeze, the guy says ok now I bet u that I can bite my other eye, and the taxman look's at him and look at his left eye, and thinks this guy isnt blind so ok ur on,

and the guy take out his teeth, and bite his left eye then put his teeth back, and the taxman say ah ****, and the guy goes okay now I bet $100 that u dont have an ass, and the taxman grabs his ass and thinks, I got an ass ok ur on, and the taxman turns around and put down his pants, and the guys goes hmmm, interesting can I Inspect it and the Taxman says yeh shore, and the guy put his finger in, ok u got an ass, but the taxman say wait but if ur always winning and losing how can u make a living,

and the guy goes well look out the window, at the building across the street, u c that man at the top of that building holding the binoculars, I bet him $10000 that I could put my finger in ur ass.

NO MORE POSTING ABOUT SPELLING

[Blue Lion]

Ok, my turn...

His grammar

[Bobboau]

three (incert minority of choice) are rideing donkeys through the coutry side and it's getting late in the day. they come to a small town with an inn and needing rest for the night they make araingments, but being (poor/cheap/stupid) though, they book the atic. tieing there rides out front by a well. they go upstairs and fall asleep. in the morning, one of the three wakes before the others and in a moment of cleverness he thinks; if I run out that window and land on my mule I can be out of town before the others wake and I can get out of paying the bill! he runs, takes a flying leap out the window, and falls in the well next to his intended target. the noise of this wakes up one of the remaining two, looking around he realises the one guy skiped out on him, not wanting to pay  1/6th more than he otherwise would have, he gets a similar idea runs out the window and similarly lands in the well, the third finaly wakes up  later, looking around he thinks the other two have stiffed him with the bill, in a rage he too runs out the window, lands on his animal and gets the hell out of town before the inn keeper finds him.

what is the moral of the story?

two out of three (incert minority of choice) can't tell there asses from a hole in the ground

[Turnsky]

Originally posted by Blue Lion
Ok, my turn...

His grammar

ooh, ooh!.. and spelling!, let's not forget spelling!

[LOKO]

lol  Bobboau,

spelling getting old poeple make new jokes.

[Petrarch of the VBB]

No

[karajorma]

A travelling salesman stops off in town on his way back home. He walks into the towns only hotel and ask if he can have a room for the night. The receptionist tells him that they haven't got any rooms free but that another guy took the last twin room the night before and probably wouldn't mind sharing so that he can pay less for the room. The guy is about to accept when the receptionist say that she feels she must warn the salesman that the guy snores very loudly. In fact he's so loud that they've had complaints from rooms 2-3 doors down.
 The salesman says that he's very tired and he'll take anything. The receptionist checks him in and the salesman goes upstairs.

The next morning the salesman appears looking well rested. The receptionist is quite shocked.

"How did you sleep last night?" She says. The salesman replies that he slept like a baby. The receptionist asks why didn't the snoring bother him, to which the guy replies.

"Oh he didn't snore. When I came in the other guy was already in bed. I explained who I was and stripped down to my boxers. Then just as he was about to fall asleep I walked over to his bed, kissed him on the forehead and said "Goodnight darling." I went to bed and he stayed up all night watching me"

[TopAce]

A return ticket, please
To where?
Back here.

[MatthewPapa]

Ancient Chinese Torture ( I heard this one at school)

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

[TopAce]

Two stupid Englishmen are talking in London:
Have you ever been to England?
No, I cannot even find it on the map.

Some of you may find some fun in this. I didn't find any.

[TopAce]

Peeple keep saing my speling is bed. I dont no y.

[Rictor]

Thats reminds me of a good one:

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar
...

[delta_7890]

Originally posted by Rictor
Thats reminds me of a good one:

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar
...

LOL!

[TopAce]

What's the joke in that?

[01010]

Originally posted by TopAce
Two stupid Englishmen are talking in London:
Have you ever been to England?
No, I cannot even find it on the map.

Some of you may find some fun in this. I didn't find any.

[Petrarch of the VBB]

A man is eating in a Chinese restaurant, and he calls over the waiter and asks, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"
"I'll go and find out" says the waiter
After a minute or so he comes back and says
"No, there's only apple jews, orange jews, and pineapple jews."

[MatthewPapa]

Bin Laden Joke.....

How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?

He marks the camels that kick.

[Petrarch of the VBB]

Originally posted by 01010

Seconded

[Gloriano]

An priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

[Kie99]

Bin Laden Rude Joke

Why does Bin Laden ask his women to shave there... private area?

Because he doesn't like bush!