When playtesting for certain occurances it's easier to playtest on very easy (or even invulnerable
Playtesting to see what happens if ship x gets destroyed often means that you can't play at your best. The problem with that is that as soon as x is dead all the ships attacking it turn on you and proceed to kick the crap out of you (which means you don't get to see if the mission debriefs actually worked.)
Anyway back to the subject at hand.
I found the edits made the mission much more playable. I was playing on Easy this time though but I managed to do reasonably well.
One small problem I found though is the way you've set up the arrival cues for Aries and Cancer wings. Since they only appear when the player gets within 2000m of the Fenris A clever player might try sending in the wings to damage the Fenris when it is unsupported.
Far better is to make the SEXP come true when any friendly comes into rande (or simply have them jump in alongside the Horizon).
(BTW I discovered this particular exploit not from the code but because I tried to fly out to 30,000m away and see what would happen in the mission.
Another problem associated with the way you've done it is that if you destroy the Horizon before either wing turn up you break the mission. The game won't proceed to the next part.
Admittedly this sort of problem shouldn't come up. With only one enemy ship on screen at the very start of the mission you could expect the player to fly straight at it. Be warned. Quite often players do things that completely surprise you
Still think you should cut the swearing. Not only is this a family forum and game but more importantly the use of asterisks completely screws up the speech synthesis
With those exceptions I pretty much enjoyed the mission. It could use a little more polishing but the mian mission is a lot more enjoyable than before