[Grey Wolf]

As a good deal of time has passed since both the VBB Bible and the HLP Bible, I think it's time that we begin to compile a second book of the HLP Bible

"And the board did dissapear, and the true believers were subjected to the the foul avatar of the IGN 404 error..."

[an0n]

Book of an0n - 3:17
"The people did rejoice, for the time of an0n had come to pass. The world did cease to shake and crumble as it had done in days gone by, but the peace did not last long. For a moon after the ascension of the Great Redeemer the skies did blacken and with all our bases belonging to him we held to refuge against the coming of the Great Storm. All who stood in the path of its terrible and most righteous fury did repent their sins and beg for mercy beneath the might of the winds of change, even as the flesh did peel from their sinful bones. And so began the Dark Times when all but those most blessed in the skills of kissing ass did suffer a fate most foul...."

[Taristin]

*snickers*

[Flipside]

....And DaveB spake unto the masses, for they were afeared, and calmed them in their dark hour.....

hehehehe

[an0n]

"The tears of the people did fill the threads, and the children did cry out 'Where is Dark? Hath he forsaken his flock?'"

[Flipside]

And the voice of he that was cast out, he who carries many names, most of them false, rang across the land and caused great woe....but we know his name, we have learned the depth of his evil. And Lo, the world should tremble in fear at the name of the Dark One, for his name is a Human name, it is Derek.....

[an0n]

.....or Tony, depending on whom you doth ask.

[Grey Wolf]

And then to combat this dark evil, the Great Warrior arose, who went by the name....

[Flipside]

.....His name matters not! Give it 500 years and we'd be arguing about how to pronounce it and what colour he was anyway.....But he rose! And he did smite the Demon with all his power, or, at least, made things too expensive for him, we hope....

[Kazan]

[Flipside]

But Lo... there was one amongst them who believed not in the Divine Freespace, but sought instead to create an graven image, which he spake of as Ferrium. Shiny was Ferrium, with many flashing bits, but would the new God seek to overthrow it's aging, but much loved Father?.....

[Goober5000]

"To the newbies of the church of HLP write:
These are the words of the Grognards, the rulers of Setekh's creation.  We know your deeds, that you neither FRED nor MOD.  We wish you did one or the other! ... You say, 'I am starting my own campaign, and I need everyone to help.'  But you do not realize that you are impetuous, brash, impolite, inexperienced, and often very annoying.  We counsel you to buy 3DSMax, so you can model; and join FRED Academy, so you can FRED; and learn C++, so you can code.  Those who are humble we advise and train.  So be earnest, and learn."

[Flipside]

Seek not to enter the realm of the GTVA until you mastered at least one of these simple arts, for the Guardian of all things, Lightwave, stands guard on the shores of the Cosmic Tide, and his scathing words can destroy utterly the unfaithful who seek to create in this Golden realm.

[Shrike]

Hi.

[Sandwich]

Originally posted by Goober5000
"To the newbies of the church of HLP write:
These are the words of the Grognards, the rulers of Setekh's creation.  We know your deeds, that you neither FRED nor MOD.  We wish you did one or the other! ... You say, 'I am starting my own campaign, and I need everyone to help.'  But you do not realize that you are impetuous, brash, impolite, inexperienced, and often very annoying.  We counsel you to buy 3DSMax, so you can model; and join FRED Academy, so you can FRED; and learn C++, so you can code.  Those who are humble we advise and train.  So be earnest, and learn."

I think I'm gonna add that to the sign-up terms and conditions page.

[Janos]

"And he said:
I know that thou hast the most irresistible urge to tell your kin of the wild theories everyone's seen before, I now command thee: Do not tell us about your theories of Shivans, or acts of heretic Bosch, for those are acts of heresy.
And they saw that's how it was meant to be."

[Fergus]

"And lo, he spoke to his fellows in hushed voice and told them.
Do not mention politics, for if ye do, all of hell shall empty and one of His minions shall speak and all of the continueum shall answer "WTF!".  Listen well, for you would be well to heed this warning."

[an0n]

The book of n00b - 1:1
"And they did say 'Oh, my god! I doth have the best idea. Should though not gather unto us all the coders that flourish in this rich and usually pleasant land and bring them unto the light of the Great Purpose. And shall we not maketh our own Freespace 3?!'. But their minds were clouded by the curse of the great evil, AOL, and their words did clog in their throats and their minds did rot in their skulls till all the wereth able to utter was 'OMG! We3 5h0od m4|<3 0u|Z 0wnz0rz fr32S5p4ce3z0rs!!!!' and we did show them pity."

[Blaise Russel]

The Book of FRED

And the novice FREDder did walketh within the FRED, and he saw that it was good, and clean. Ye, didst he witness the shiny of the Colossal Failure and the Four-Armed Beast and spake unto all:

"yay team collosos vs tem santathanas lol i'm make teh bestets batle evar yea!!1!! w00t!1!!1!!!11"

But he knew not what he did, and he did placeth too many ships, that FRED didst totter and stumble - but it was strong, and stood tall. Yet came the time of the Playtest, did the Freespace collapse under its awesome weight, and came the time of Blackness and Not Responding, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth therein.

[pyro-manic]

The Book of Mod, verse 5:
And the novice modeler did stumble across the great evil that is Truespace, and it called to him with a silken voice, and tempted him with dreams of glory, and he had a vision as of ships that did fill the vastness of space, and made the mighty Colin as it were an ant.
And the novice was seduced by these visions, and he gripped the Truespace, and claimed it for his own, and with it he didst commit works of the most terrible blasphemy. And this evil was known as the GTD Cube, and all who saw it trembled mightily in it's passage, and their wailing resounded through the heavens:

"It's too big!" "We can't kill it!" "Re-do the textures!"

And the novice spake unto them: "It's t3h |337! iT c4n |<1ll t3h Sat4na$$ in oen $h0t!!!!!111oneeleven". And they cowered away from the heresy, as fire and brimstone fell like a burning rain from the sky to purge the unclean and that which he had wrought.