LISTEN AND LISTEN WELL! The following is a list of my divine demands, which shall be carried out lest thou incur my holy wrath!
1. Many of the faithful have been enslaved, and my disciples have been mistreated! Let my people go, so that they may join me, and be at my right hand for all eternity, praise be to me!
2. My true disciples have been the victims of sore injustice! You have spurned them in favor of liars and false prophets! The adminship will be allowed to step down peacefully, to be replaced by my Chosen People!
3. Let it be set into stone that the heretics and infidels will be punished! For my word is the Truth, and the Truth is law!
4. This forum shall heretofore be known as the Terrible Kingdom of Stryke the Ninth, and the decor shall be classed up accordingly!
5. It is my holy dictate that, in order to lead my people to the Promised Land, I require access to your wives and daughters! At least four hours of uninterrupted sex a day is
vital to the fulfillment of my Divine Will!
6. The Internet is a place of much deceit, and words are without truth! Therefore, the worthy will not be determined by the lies they speak, but rather the MONEY THEY DONATE! The greater thine financial contribution, the sooner thou shalt be welcomed unto my bosom in the Promised Land!
Now hurry up! I mean it! I got a bomb and a busload of kids here, I think we'd all rather I didn't do an instant conversion to Islam!
