Author Topic: Please forgive me.....  (Read 1909 times)

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Offline aldo_14

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Please forgive me.....
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. He starts on this when
suddenly a huge fish leaps out and bites him right on his todger. He is not going to let a fish have a go so he beats the offending fish to death with a spade. Realising that his boss is not going to be best pleased, he tries to find a way to hide the dead fish.

He hits on the brilliant idea of giving the fish to the lions as lions will eat anything. So he throws the fish into the lion's cage.

He then moves on to his second job, which is to clear out the monkey house. He goes in and a couple of chimps start urinating on him.  Un-amused he swipes at the chimps with his spade, killing them instantly. He's really worried now, so what does he do? He feeds the chimps to the lions, because lions eat anything. He hurls them into the lion's cage.

Anyway, he moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from South American bees. He starts on this and quickly gets attacked by the bees.

Alarmed, he grabs his spade and smashes the bees as hard as he can, squashing them to death. By this point he is not too worried about the death of bees as he knows what to do by now. He throws them into the  lion's cage, because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. It wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like in here?".

The other lion says: . . . . . .




(Wait for it.........)


















Spoiler:



"Absolutely brilliant, today we had fish, chimps and mushy bees"


« Last Edit: March 02, 2005, 05:26:55 am by 181 »

 

Offline Unknown Target

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...not funny?

 

Offline Col. Fishguts

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I think I don't get it...something to do with english food ?
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Offline aldo_14

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:sigh:
British food, actually.
Spoiler:

Fish, chips and mushy peas

 

Offline WMCoolmon

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Potato chips are American food, or so I hear. :p

Some guy was eating cooked potatoes at a restraunt. But, he wasn't satisified with them. So he sends them back. But he's not satisfied with them the next time, and so sends them back two or three more times.

Finally, the chef got pissed off and sent them back to him, after slicing them to be as thin as he could. Thus, the potato chip was born. ;)
-C

 

Offline aldo_14

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Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
Potato chips are American food, or so I hear. :p

Some guy was eating cooked potatoes at a restraunt. But, he wasn't satisified with them. So he sends them back. But he's not satisfied with them the next time, and so sends them back two or three more times.

Finally, the chef got pissed off and sent them back to him, after slicing them to be as thin as he could. Thus, the potato chip was born. ;)


Ah.  Let me correct you, because you people have been getting this wrong for ages......in fact, I don't think I ever saw a proper bag of prawn cocktail last time I was on holiday in the states (long ago as that may be...)

Chips


Crisps


Fish, chips and mushy peas


(And no, I wouldn't touch those peas with a 30 foot bargepole either.....)

 

Offline vyper

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No peas for me please, just fish, chips, a ton of salt n' vinegar and tomato sauce.
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Offline Liberator

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Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14
Fries


Chips


Food Poisoning

So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

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Offline Ghostavo

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Whose language is it, again? :p ;)
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Offline aldo_14

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EDIT; chips are fatter than 'fries' for one thing, anyways.

 

Offline Roanoke

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hey that's pretty good.

 

Offline karajorma

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Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
Potato chips are American food, or so I hear. :p

Some guy was eating cooked potatoes at a restraunt. But, he wasn't satisified with them. So he sends them back. But he's not satisfied with them the next time, and so sends them back two or three more times.

Finally, the chef got pissed off and sent them back to him, after slicing them to be as thin as he could. Thus, the potato chip was born. ;)


I'd heard the story before I knew immediately that he was an American chef. Try that with a French one and he'd have left with his ears in a doggy bag. :lol:
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Offline Kazan

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no forgiveness for you!
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Offline Flipside

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I wouldn't touch the Mushy Peas either, but my Dad loves them, and a more ccurate label for that plate of Fish & Chips would be 'Do It Yourself Coronary' ;)

 

Offline aldo_14

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Quote
Originally posted by Flipside
I wouldn't touch the Mushy Peas either, but my Dad loves them, and a more ccurate label for that plate of Fish & Chips would be 'Do It Yourself Coronary' ;)


Nah, that's reserved for this;


 

Offline Roanoke

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I happen to like mushy peas.

That fried Mars bar just looks rank.

 

Offline Ford Prefect

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What did the farmer say when his tractor went missing?
Spoiler:
Where's my tractor?
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Offline Petrarch of the VBB

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Hohoho

 

Offline Tiara

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Mushy peas look like the feces of a very sick bird. :ick:
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Offline Scuddie

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