Author Topic: ****ing Batman.  (Read 24064 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ford Prefect

  • 8D
  • 26
  • Intelligent Dasein
We're all speaking bastardizations of Indo-European, anyway.
"Mais est-ce qu'il ne vient jamais à l'idée de ces gens-là que je peux être 'artificiel' par nature?"  --Maurice Ravel

 

Offline Kie99

  • 211
Quote
Originally posted by Flipside
And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a Dictionary, or the opposite. ;)

Edit : This post is, in fact, an example of language drift by itself, can anyone guess why? ;)


Because you capitalised Language and Dictionary?
"You shot me in the bollocks, Tim"
"Like I said, no hard feelings"

 

Offline WMCoolmon

  • Purveyor of space crack
  • 213
Quote
And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a Dictionary, or the opposite.
 
 Edit : This post is, in fact, an example of language drift by itself, can anyone guess why?


There is no subject in the second clause, and opposite is an adjective? "And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a dictionary, or vice versa." or "or the dictionary should follow the language".

Edit: Did you see where Batman went after you confronted  him about his BONER?
« Last Edit: March 24, 2005, 07:34:45 pm by 374 »
-C

 

Offline Thrilla

  • 27
Quote
Originally posted by Grug

More like America = Uses molested, and mutated version of English Language.


I call it Anglish.  :D
94th Combat Support Hospital, 807th Medical Brigade

 

Offline Grug

  • 211
  • From the ashes...
:p

I still say Black Wolf is sitting back and laughing at as all... :doubt:

 

Offline Carl

  • Render artist
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp/
Quote
Originally posted by kietotheworld


Because you capitalised Language and Dictionary?


capitalized. Z is the badass rebel brother of goody two-shoes S.
"Gunnery control, fry that ****er!" - nuclear1

 

Offline Flipside

  • əp!sd!l£
  • 212
Also, I started the sentence with the word 'And', which is still, in some areas of teaching/writing, considered bad grammar

 

Offline Kie99

  • 211
So, was it true?
"You shot me in the bollocks, Tim"
"Like I said, no hard feelings"

 

Offline TrashMan

  • T-tower Avenger. srsly.
  • 213
  • God-Emperor of your kind!
    • Minecraft
    • FLAMES OF WAR
What does this have to do with batman?

Anyway, anyone seen Superman lately? Last I heard, he broke up with Lois. He was so heart-broken he tried to drown his sorrow with drugs...but since he is super they have practicly no effect on him, so he had to clean the "crop fields" of drug lords all over the globe..just to get high ONCE!
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

  

Offline pyro-manic

  • Flambé
  • 210
Whether it's true or not, it's bloody funny! :lol:
Any fool can pull a trigger...

 

Offline Black Wolf

  • Twisted Infinities
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Hey! You! Get off-a my cloud!
    • Visit the TI homepage!
I went back home for the weekend the other day – did the whole good Friday thing with the folks, then went out to the pub Saturday night. You’d think that they’d just give up on the whole weekend, given the amount of alcohol consumed at a traditional Easter barbie, but my town is full of pisstanks, and my friends are no exception, so the traditional Saturday gathering got shifted over to the Saturday.

Anyway, unsurprisingly, I’m not the only one up for the weekend. In fact, one of my mates from a different uni (studying law – useful friend to have I’m sure) came up, with his girlfriend and a friend of hers, Jen. Apparently, her parents were holidaying or something, but she couldn’t miss class, and kind of found herself with nothing to do for Easter. Pissed Cheyne off a little, but his loss was my gain. She was pretty, though not really what I’d’ve considered to be my type. Still, I figured I might as well try my luck, and things actually seemed to be going pretty well after an hour or so. Anyway, I get up to go to the bar (it’s my round) when suddenly I feel this tap on my shoulder. It’s an older guy – I don’t think I know him, but it’s hard to tell, because half of his face looks like it’s been burned or something – it’s pretty nastily scarred up.
“Excuse me” he says “Have you seen a guy, ‘bout yea tall, black mask, cape, rubber torso?”
“Err… yeah.” I say, trying not to stare at this guy’s disfigured half face. “I think he’s in the back, with the band.”
“Oh, cheers.” And he walks off.
Then, all of a sudden, the rest of my little group sort of scurry up, kind of furtive.
“Dude! Who was that?”
“I dunno. Some guy.”
“What did he want?”
“Looking for someone. ‘bout yea tall, black mask, cape, rubber torso.”
“That guy in the back?”
“Yeah, I assumed so.”
“Oh, righto. Any idea what for?”
“Didn’t say.”
“Oh. Fair enough.”

I think he got kind of curious, coz he was looking back in towards the back room a fair old bit, and then he said “I’m curious.”
“Wanna go check it out?”
“OK.”

So we go through the little hallway and round the corner, and end up in what looks like a scene from some movie. There, in the middle of the room, are the rubber torso guy and the disfigured guy, dancing. Practically dirty dancing. But strangely, there are no homoerotic overtones. At all. It’s like the dirty dancing of death. And then it hits me. The Rubber torso. The mask. I’d seen it all before.
“Batman?”
“Err… kind of busy” he says, pointing to the disfigured guy, but keeping in character by sort of sliding the finger down the other guys chest and spinning away from him.
“What the **** man? I thought you were in the city?”
“Well, I was.” He says, bringing one arm up and looking down the length into the others eyes. “But I heard Two Face here was in town, and was up to no good. I had to do something!”
“Two Face? Doesn’t he have, like, minions?”
“Well, normally, yeah.” He says as he leans backwards, the other dominantly leaning over the dark knight. “But apparently there were some troubles with getting them into the country – criminal records, baggage issues, you know”.
“Err” someone in the crowd pipes up. “That’s not Two Face. That’s my dad. He was injured in a housefire several years ago – the doctors worry that the scars may never heal.”

At this Batman just goes ****ing ****mix, chucks a batarang at the guy in the crowd and starts punching the crap out of this guy’s dad, knocks him to the ground and sticks the boot in half a dozen times. I’m pretty sure I hear at least one rib break.
“Yeah. That’ll teach you.” He says, leaning over the groaning form of the old guy, “I’m not ****ing gay.”
At this point, I suddenly realize that the two girls have followed us back and are standing in the little doorway watching this scene of violence with the same sense of surrealism as the rest of us. As batman brushes past, he kind of strokes Jen’s chin and says “Hey, ever seen a bat roost?”
Now, I thought that was pretty cheesy, but apparently the whole rubber torsoed billionaire thing does it for chicks, because the last time I saw Jen she was getting into the passenger side of the Batmobile.

****ing Batman.
TWISTED INFINITIES · SECTORGAME· FRONTLINES
Rarely Updated P3D.
Burn the heretic who killed F2S! Burn him, burn him!!- GalEmp

 

Offline neo_hermes

  • MmmmmmNode!
  • 28
  • What the hell are you lookin at?
Hell has no fury like an0n...
killing threads is...well, what i do best.

 

Offline Grug

  • 211
  • From the ashes...
:lol:
rofl! wtf!?

I don't know where your getting these stories from but they are hilarious. :p

 

Offline redsniper

  • 211
  • Aim for the Top!
I... er... wow.
"Think about nice things not unhappy things.
The future makes happy, if you make it yourself.
No war; think about happy things."   -WouterSmitssm

HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS:
"...this conversation is pointlessly confrontational."

 

Offline Black Wolf

  • Twisted Infinities
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Hey! You! Get off-a my cloud!
    • Visit the TI homepage!
So the other day, my biol class has to head off to the aquarium. Now, normally that's a pretty fun outing, but, of course, being an 'education' related trip, the buggers had everything predetermined as to where we were meant to go. So, while we should have been going through the shark tank or pulling stuff out of the touch pool to throw at each other, we were sitting on hard benches in front of the "Antarctic Ecology" tank (Which wasn't even particularly interesting, since the seals were off performing or something), listening to some guy go on about global warming.

Anyway, all of a sudden the door slams open and this tall, black shape runs into the room, jumps over the railing into the tank and starts throttling one of the penguins in the enclosure.
"Aha!" He shouted out at the top of his voice, "Now I've got you!"

Once they got over their initial shock, it didn't take everyone long to figure out what was going on. I think it was the rubber torso that gave it away.

Batman was attacking the Antarctic Ecology tank.

"Batman!" I yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"
He turned and looked at me.
"Can't you tell? I've finally captured my arch nemesis - the Penguin!"
"Batman you ****, that's not the Penguin - that's a Penguin."
He looked a bit confused by this, looking at me, then down at the bird then back at me.
"A penguin?"
"Yeah - a fairy penguin."
He smiled, and started to laugh - that wasn;t the reaction I'd been expecting.
"What the hell Batman?"
"Hee hee - fairy penguin."
"What?"
"The Penguin's a Fairy, the Penguin's a Fairy!"

At this point, I was getting a little irriated.
"No, you idiot, a penguin!"
"Maybe he can have little Penguin pride parades"
"Batman, are you even listening to me?"
"Ha ha ha - Hey Penguin - screwed any men lately?"
"For ****'s sake Batman..."
"Oooh waitwaitwait I've got it!" he exclaimed, standing up and throwing both arms wide, flinging the near lifeless penguin onto it's little artificial island as he did so. "Batman vs... the ***quin!"

At that point I just got up, turned around and walked away. He was a lost cause.

****ing Batman.
TWISTED INFINITIES · SECTORGAME· FRONTLINES
Rarely Updated P3D.
Burn the heretic who killed F2S! Burn him, burn him!!- GalEmp

 

Offline Nuclear1

  • 211
:wtf:

I think you've had waaaaaaaaaay too much weed.
Spoon - I stand in awe by your flawless fredding. Truely, never before have I witnessed such magnificant display of beamz.
Axem -  I don't know what I'll do with my life now. Maybe I'll become a Nun, or take up Macrame. But where ever I go... I will remember you!
Axem - Sorry to post again when I said I was leaving for good, but something was nagging me. I don't want to say it in a way that shames the campaign but I think we can all agree it is actually.. incomplete. It is missing... Voice Acting.
Quanto - I for one would love to lend my beautiful singing voice into this wholesome project.
Nuclear1 - I want a duet.
AndrewofDoom - Make it a trio!

 

Offline Flipside

  • əp!sd!l£
  • 212
LOL I think they're hilarious :D

 

Offline Scuddie

  • gb2/b/
  • 28
  • I will never leave.
****ing Batman.
Bunny stole my signature :(.

Sorry boobies.

 

Offline WMCoolmon

  • Purveyor of space crack
  • 213
-C

 

Offline icespeed

  • 3574
  • 28
umm.... okay.... i think its time for your pills now...
$quot;Let your light shine before men...$quot;
Matthew 5:16

When I graduate, I'm going to be a doctor, and people are going to come to me looking for treatment and prescription drugs, and I'm going to give it to them. Is anyone scared yet?

$quot;If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord', and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.$quot; Romans 10:9