[Sandwich]

WARNING: Do not try this at home.

[q]Mission statement

By any means necessary, to render the Earth into a form in which it may no longer be considered a planet. Such forms include, but are most definitely not limited to: two or more planets; any number of smaller asteroids; a quantum singularity; a dust cloud.

....



What this guide is not

This is not a guide for those whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined inside will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems.

If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible right now. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.[/q]

[delta_7890]

Brilliant!  I especially love #2.

[Taristin]

've seen this before. But it was better when I read it elsewhere. I liked the disclaimer on the bottom of the other one.

[Nuclear1]

#2 reminds me of those little probes from Star Control...

#10 I like though.

[Unknown Target]

I don't get this:

# Minimum amount of time until the Earth is destroyed by natural means (discounting total existence failure): 25 years
# Minimum amount of time until the Earth is destroyed by artificial means: 50 years

?

[delta_7890]

Originally posted by Unknown Target
I don't get this:



?

He means that, of the theories proposed, the Earth would be destroyed at the soonest in 25 years by natural means, or 50 years by artificial means.  That is, using one of the methods described.

[pyro-manic]

Well, natural means is getting hit by a bloody great rock. If it was sooner than 25 years away, we would have detected it already. Artificial means is by the von Neumann machines (could also be called Grey Goo) - we're about 50 years off having that kind of technology.

Nice find, Sandwich.

[Carl]

this is like the third time this has been posted.

[Martinus]

[color=66ff00]#11: Just let the american administration continue doing what they're doing now.
[/color]

[Kosh]

[WMCoolmon]

Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]#11: Just let the american administration continue doing what they're doing now.
[/color]

Newton's first law, eh?

[FireCrack]

Umm, strange analogy, I guess it kinda works...

[Scuddie]

#12:  If you destroy the sun, you destroy the earth, and every other planet in the system.

Can be done.

[achtung]

Originally posted by Scuddie
#12:  If you destroy the sun, you destroy the earth, and every other planet in the system.

Can be done.

Supernova anyone?

[NGTM-1R]

Originally posted by Scuddie
#12:  If you destroy the sun, you destroy the earth, and every other planet in the system.

Can be done.

Not...quite.

That depends on how you do it. If you just manage to get it to disperse, that's probably not going to cut it.

[Jeryko]

Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]#11: Just let the american administration continue doing what they're doing now.
[/color]

Well, I guess someone had to ruin this funny thread with some **** like this.

Good job.

[Nuke]

bah, just nuke the whole place from orbit.

[Nuclear1]

It's the only way to be sure.

[Kosh]

Originally posted by ngtm1r


Not...quite.

That depends on how you do it. If you just manage to get it to disperse, that's probably not going to cut it.

He's probably thinking more like the Shivans and Capella.

[FireCrack]

Tie two spaceships to opposite ends and have them pull in opposite directions!