[Kosh]

Originally posted by aldo_14
I believe 'whacked out Christian' be a humerous exaggeration.   There's nay evidence Bush be actually Christian, what with th'lack o' compassion for th'poor or charity.  Plus that whole thin' with Rumsfeld breaks th''graven images' commandment.

Despite the fact that he claims he is.

[karajorma]

Seriously Kosh you're moving away from reasoned discussion and into conspiracy theory here.

[Kosh]

Maybe you're right. So, let's get back on topic, shall we? Global warming is bad.

[Mefustae]

Originally posted by karajorma
Seriously Kosh ye're movin' away from reasoned discussion an' into conspiracy theory here.

Ooooooh no, we're not even close t'gettin' into conspiracy theory stuff here. It's common conjecture that Bush be indeed a whacked out Christian Fanatic, what's not known be that he's actually th'forerunner o' an Alien Invasion that's tryin' t'dumb down our species and/or make us blow ourselves up, so we'll be easily conquered. You see, th'Aliens don't actually want us specifically, they want a Sub-Fusion Reactor Core located in th'sunken City o' Atlantis located several kilometres beneath present day Arctic Circle. The closest we came t'discoverin' this was th'unmanned probe that was sent t'the Moon in 1968 - launched t'lay mirrors an' such t'prepare evidence for th'faked moon landings, t'be filmed th'next year at a set adjacent t'Area 51 - which stumbled across their Invasion Fleet lyin' under th'surface o' th'moon, which be in actuality entirely hollow (it was built by these Aliens as part o' their first invasion several hundred years ago, more commonly known as th'"Crusades")...

...Of course, that only scratches th'surface o' how deep this conspiracy goes, from th'Whitehouse, t'the local police station, t'that midget in me bookclub what keeps stealin' all me ideas, they're all in on it...in fact, i'm pretty sure you're in on it too, Kara! *puts on tin foil hat* Stay out o' me head Kara!!!

[WeatherOp]

Originally posted by Mefustae
. The closest we came t'discoverin' this was th'unmanned probe that was sent t'the Moon in 1968 - launched t'lay mirrors an' such t'prepare evidence for th'faked moon landings, t'be filmed th'next year at a set adjacent t'Area 51 - which stumbled across their Invasion Fleet lyin' under th'surface o' th'moon, which be in actuality entirely hollow
 

No, when we went to the moon we found that it was made of cheese, and the goverment tryed to hide it from the public, and in Area 51 they have brought some back and are tsting it's flavors, Moon Cheddar, Moon Swiss, ect. and it's a disgrace they keep it all to themselves.

[aldo_14]

[Grey Wolf]

Quote from Eishtmo on WS in this thread.

BAH!  Radioactive Hamster from a Planet Near Mars my ass.  Totally pathetic creatures honestly, went down in under two hours.  Now the Sectoids, they were a real opponet.

It was back in the early sixties, when Kennedy was President, Vietnam was heating up and forks walked around in public.  Don't remember the forks?  Eh, it doesn't matter, I think the planetary brain wipe of '77 probably removed that.  Anyways, I was running a sting in San Fransisco against the shipment of time altering drugs (which were, are, will be, responsible for the return of bell bottoms, but that wasn't my fault, I was working a different case at the time) when the call went out for the best to report to our Jersey HQ.  Jersey stank then as it does today, but that was the result of the processing of Jersey Devil manure which we used for things you haven't even imagined yet.

The news was grave.  An alien ship, a Sectoid ship we learned later, had landed on the moon and had begun constructing a base.  We've been aware of aliens for decades, since the first run in them during the Civil War when the CSS Virgina was forced to fight one of their primative ships in Charlston harbor (later, the Union would calim that the Monitor was the ship in the battle, and that was fine in the long run), but after we showed them that our weapons were more than up to the challenge of a fight, none came to call again.

Of course, as soon as they had landed, we sent an official protest to the galatic council regarding it.  We hadn't even been contacted regarding a reseach colony of any kind (there's some doubt as to whether we would have approved of one or not), and it was initally assumed that this was such a colony.  The council responded with a short, but firm message:  "We're at war with them, we can't spare the resources to help you.  You're on your own."

The phrase "Can't spare the resources" scared us more than anything else.  If they couldn't spare a single ship to deal with these losers, or even a tech expert, these Sectoids must have been very, very nasty.  I was put in charge of finding a way to extricate the bastards from the moon, a job harder than any I've taken before (though long overshadowed by the pie rebellion that eventually brought down the Soviet Union and nearly the entire world).  I gathered the smartest people I knew and began planning.  The plans, however, were huge.  Gigantic, in fact, requiring massive resources and manpower, something we've lacked since World War II.  I took this problem to the my surperiors, and they seemed dumbfounded on how to do it.  Then our Soviet friends launched the first man into space.

Things went quickly from there.  The President was contacted and it was through him that the project finally got off the ground.  The base, as far as we could tell, would be fully operational in about 9 years (it was a big base), so we set a timeline:  We had to destroy the thing by the end of the decade, or kiss our collective asses good bye.

I'd like to say everything went smooth as silk, hell, we were even ahead of schedule for a while, but it didn't.  The Sectoids found out about our plans, or at least thought they did.  They caught one of our people on a spy mission near one of their smaller observation outposts in India.  To this day I don't know how much he told them, but in the end, they didn't even show him mercy.  Over the next two years, we were forced to fight off a succession of Sectoid raids on various military bases all over the world.  The battles were terrible affairs, and many died, but we repelled them every time, and managed to keep the bulk of our equipment and plans hidden safely.  But they set us back, big time.  The last fight was in '67, when they attacked the launch pad of Apollo one.  A single stray shot managed to hit the capsule, and killed the three men inside.  They didn't even know there was a battle going on outside.

It wasn't until '69 that the weapon was ready.  I won't go into details, but it was a glorious achievement, one that has paid dividends in the years since.  The problem was that it required someone to actually use it while in orbit.  You could ask Michael Collins about it, but he'll deny it (part of the brain wipe thing again, that was something totally man made and completely unrelated to the Sectoids).  Yet he was the best we ever had.  Not long after Armstrong gave his famous words, Collins fired the weapon at the base on the dark side of the moon.  If it could have been seen from Earth, the explosion would have been spectacular.  As it was, the world was more fixated on the moon landing, and so it went unnoticed, just as planned.

Later, we decided to rake the base again, you know, just to be sure, but damn it all if the thing didn't malfunction and send Apollo 13 spinning out of control.  Despite that, the council paid well for the weapon, and beat the Sectoids back in a grand series of battles.  The last actually happened near Mars, as the Sectoids had finally figured out who and doomed them and came after us.  In the end, instead of targets, we were mearly observers to the destruction.  We were all pleased with the results, but the funding finally had to dry up.  NASA had to abandon Apollo, and began spiralling down into obscurity and underfunding.  Honestly, we haven't needed them since we got those three battlecrusiers from the council.  Part of the payment, and a whole mess of UFO sightings.  But then, that's all part of the job.

Let's see if quoting WS works...

EDIT: Partially. Needed to edit it a bit though.

[Ford Prefect]

Originally posted by aldo_14
I believe 'whacked out Christian' is a humerous exaggeration.   There's no evidence Bush is actually Christian, what with the lack of compassion for the poor or charity.  Plus that whole thing with Rumsfeld breaks the 'graven images' commandment.

I believe it is naive and unrealistic to think that a creed's stated tenets have anything to do with what it actually is. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who declares himself a Christian is a Christian. It's just a name with some pretty symbols attached to it.

[aldo_14]

edit; what the hell was I on about?