Moron Thinks It's The Rapture
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described
as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people
were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid
hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was
occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then
passed a man on the side of the
road who she claimed was Jesus.
"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the
sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband
of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.
She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna
lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said
Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.
Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was
dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp
covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up
sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.
Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends
that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in
frustration, and said , "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed
him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the
sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved
Jesus more than anything else.
When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is
all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."
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You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
