I haven't seen anyone do that in a while actually, and I haven't done it in long enough that I'm having trouble remembering how it goes exactly. It is, however, a tradition of these boards that we ignore at our peril, so here goes.
Gunnery Control, target shadow_orion14. Open fire!
Welcome to the the HLP BB. Exits are to the sides and rear. Don't plan on using them though, someone let the hosted projects put all their stuff in there so they're all but inaccessable. In the event of an emergency, flamethrowers are stowed under your seat but since we've been out of napalm since late '01 you'll have to use it as a kudgel. There are pulse rifles and assorted heavy weapons in the lockers up front; these can be opened only by admins,
, God, or a hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. These weapons are reserved for the Apocalypse, bad April Fools jokes, and the release of FS3, in that order, so don't get your hopes up about using them. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device, and you'll find a week's supply of Bosch Beer hidden inside. There's a 95% probability that the beer isn't actually beer, and no one is really sure why you'd need a floatation device in deep space, but hopefully these will provide some small comfort.
Feel free to get aquainted with the place while you're here, and do be careful when exploring the ventilation systems. If you encounter a large 5-limbed creature, don't panic. Just set down your lunch and back away very slowly. If you're lucky it will just be Carl, our resident shivan, who responds quite well to bribes of food. If it's not Carl, and it's in a good mood, at least your death should be quick and painless. If you're particularly unlucky though you might get dragged into a religion or politics thread, in which case may God have mercy on your soul. Stay clear of trouble, and you'll be fine.
Enjoy your stay!
