Weel, thanks Thunder, but I'm kind of using 2K instead of XP, so I'm not sure if that'll work.
Galemp, TY, the quicklaunch thing worked perfectly.

I'll see about the DLL patch you mentioned.
Something else I might as well ask about is video playback...it seems to be totally broken on my computer; all videos run at slideshow speed. Actual slideshow speed. We're talking a minute a frame, while the computer behaves as if it's locked up. There's no HD access, and the only fix seems to be to close the offending program via task manager or hitting the X repeatedly and hoping a click gets through.
It's probably somewhat beyond the scope of anyone here; I selectively installed components from Win2k via slipstreaming, so I probably forgot some silly minor dependency.