[an0n]

*uses multi-dimensional adapter gateway to pull some Kelownan Naquadriah bombs, Tollan phase shifting super-weaponry, a Harper Uber-Bomb and a Trek Genesis-Device through into the HLP universe*

*fixes 'em all together and detonates the resulting universally stupid device 3ft from Shrike*

*forgot to calibrate the radiometric fall-off field discriminators*
*watches the blast bubble expand exponentially, vapourising the forums, the Gamespy servers and half the west-coast*

****.

.......Styyyyyxx.

[Shrike]

*reloads*

*uses knife missile on an0n*

[Unknown Target]

*starts to sweat at the gun from his head*

Suddenly, in the midst of the fighting, a loud explosion is heard from the roof. Several Interplay agents come fastlining down through the skylight.

Agent #1: Secure the perimeter! Rescue UT!

A large, beefy agent with a C-3P0 head pounds up to an0n.

Big Agent: I believe this is mine.

He pulls back a fist, and I duck under it, as he bashes an0n, sending him flying into the opposite wall.

Me: Thanks.

BA: Don't mention it.

He hands UT a mean-looking Minigun, with flamethrower attachement.

Me: Let's rock and roll!!!!

I let lose with a barrage of bullets at Shrike, who goes into bullet-time, and leaps upwards and does a double backflip, as the bullets sail past him and into kode He lands, drops, and rolls to the side, bulets bouncing of the ground next to him. He takes out a pistol, and takes a shot at UT (my) head. UT throws his gun up in front of him. The bullet catches it and sends it twisting around. Shrike takes out a large sword.

UT: (looks behnd) Uh...one second...

He runs off in the opposit direction and into a door. A few minutes later, there's some shouting, and darkage flys out of the door. I step out with a large sword in hand.

Me: Now I'm ready.

[Shrike]

Interplay agents?  Someone's fighting dirty.

Shrike pauses for a second to lace up his boots properly, then begins flicking the sword around lightly, which suddenly turns into a blur that ends in a meaty thunk as it sprouts from the chest of an Interplay agent.  The suited figure slides to the ground at the rest  pull out pistols and begin firing at the silvery shape, only to see their shots miss as the black-clad Shrike shifts to fast time and runs along the wall, explosive bullets pecking at the walls of the forum.

Gotta be faster than that!

Going from a wall run to a rolling leap, Shrike unveils a man-portable plasma rifle and promptly engulfs the agents in starcore heat.  A thump heralds his arrival on the ground, boots disturbing the ashes are all that's left of the agents.

Dum de dum..... that's one problem solved.

Shrike drops the plasma rifle, the weapon vanishing before it hits the ground then opens his left hand, the gleaming sword leaping into it.

Now, where did UT get to.....

[Unknown Target]

UT's busy off in the corner, hitting a large portable ion cannon repeatedly with a large hammer. He pauses to look back up at Shrike, then gives it one final blow. An ominous hum eminates from the device, and a sequence of spiraling lights run down the barrel. He lets loose a blast of ionic energy, straight towards Shrike. He skillfully dodges it, flying upwards into the lights. UT is blinded, by the overheads, as suddenly Shrike appears and comes careening down towards him. UT ducks as a large sword is plowed into the ground behind him. He lashes out with a back-kick, and sends Shrike flying backwards. Shrike gains momentum and leg-thrusts off the wall, straight at UT, who drops to the floor and kicks upwards with his legs into Shrike's chest, sending him flying upwards. UT leaps into the air, and slams Shrike back towards the ground, where he makes a large, ragged hole in it. Suddenly, an0n flies up out of nowhere, and spin-kicks UT in the back, sending him reeling into the opposite wall. UT regains his composure just in time to leap off the wall and avoid a deadly kick by an0n. The two land and square off.

an0n: Sooo....I se you have gotten stronger! But never as strong as I!

UT: That's what you think, an0n!

The two draw lightsabers. Suddenly, Thunder jumps through the now-broken skylight, landing in between the two, creating a small crater. Shrike walks up behind him.

Shrike: You didn't really think we'd let you two win, did you?

All four of them draw lightsabers

[Shrike]

Lightsabers?  Lightsabers are for pussy Jedi.  Gimme psylockesque psiblades any day of the week.  :devil:

[aldo_14]

And suddenly, a giant foot stamps down on the floor, squashing the protagonists........

[Unknown Target]

Shrike looks down at his lightsaber.

Shrike: Pussy Jedi.

He pulls out a pair of psylockesque psiblades

C'mon an0n, join in the fun!

EDIT: Just so you know, you're the one who held a gun to my head and forced me to start all this

[Fineus]

Wanders into the forums, calmly holding an Ion Painter on the scuffle...

Who feels lucky?

[Anaz]

*walks in holding renders*


*looks around*


*backs out slowwwly*

[Anaz]

oops...

[Shrike]

Originally posted by Unknown Target
Shrike looks down at his lightsaber.

Shrike: Pussy Jedi.

He pulls out a pair of psylockesque psiblades

C'mon an0n, join in the fun!

EDIT: Just so you know, you're the one who held a gun to my head and forced me to start all this

Well, technically speaking they just kind of come out of her forearms and hands..... hold on.  Let's see if I can find a pic.

Edit:  'ere we go

[Sandwich]

Sandwich whistles for StyxxBot.

Sandwich: "We must initiate The Plan™ before they ruin everything!!"

StyxxBot: [BLOOP-BEEP]

Sandwich watches as the StyxxBot begins to unfold into something hideously familiar, yet horrifyingly other-worldly...

StyxxBot: [BLEEP!]

Sandwich meanders over to transmorgifies StyxxBot, pressing a few bottons and twirling a few dials. He ducks the wild swing of UT's lightsaber, presses a few more buttons, and slithers to the far corner of the forum. In the middle of the room, the StyxxBot begins to vibrate, at first a barely noticable hum, but rapidly escalating into a ground-shaking growl. The combatants lose their footing and fall to the floor, disoriented by the eerie shriek accompanying the rumble. They glance over at Sandwich, who has his IDF-issue earplugs in. He grins back at them, all tangled up in a writhing heap on the vibrating floor.

Sandwich: "Have a nice trip, boys? Oh, don't bother - you can tell me all about it next fall! Mu-hahahah!"

And then everything goes white...

[Knight Templar]

*goes to find clean underwear*

[Unknown Target]

I'll let Shrike or Thunder respond to that one first

Hey, it's no fun alone. Where's everyone else?

[Darkage]

And i thought i was weird

You people seriously need some strong medication:D:p


*Runs*

[Unknown Target]

*Drools*
MUAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
I stole your sword, darkage!

[Darkage]

I don't use a sword, i use portable guided missile launchers and beam cannons.


*WHOOOOOSSSSSSSS!!!*

[Unknown Target]

EDIT: Reply to sandwich coming...
Here we go:

The screen fades from white to black, then to normal. We hear a yell, gradually groing louder, then, suddenly, four figures crash down inside a murky sewer. UT stands up.

UT: OW! MY ****ING ASS!

Shrike stiffles a chuckle, and UT gives him a mean look.

Shrike: (Turns to face Thunder) So, where are we?

Thunder: Well, if my guess is right, we're in the Blocked Threads Disposal Site.

Shrike: We have one? Where does it go?

Thunder: Outside.

an0n: Oh, that's just ****in' dandy!

UT: Hey ,wait a minute! You feel that?

Shrike: Feel what?

UT franticly searches the water with his eyes.

UT: I felt something! Something just slithered past my leg!

Thunder: No way, kid, nothing lives down here!

Suddenly, UT is pulled under the water, as the other three frantically search for him.

an0n: (stands up) Well, that's the end of him. Oh, well, too bad, let's get out of here.

Suddenly, UT bursts throught the water, knocking an0n over.

an0n: Why you...! Why couldn't you stay dead!?

UT: (Gives an0n a menacing glare) I don't know---it just slithered away!

Suddenly, a loud creeking is heard. The walls start to close in, metal rending against metal.

Shrike: The walls are closing!

Thunder: No ****! Brace them with something!

The walls grow tighter and tighter. All four try out their respective weapons on the door, but to no avail. Suddenly, we hear a tapping sound.

UT: Huh, what's that?

Thunder: It's morse code! It's coming from the door!

an0n: Well, what does it say?!

Thunder: S...T...A...N...D  B...A...C...K. Stand back.  STAND BACK!

Just as everyone leaps out of the way, a tremendous explosion rocks the door, and through it steps an Interplay Agent.

IA: I have come for you. Please follow me.

...
...
...
Next!:D

[Darkage]

Originally posted by Unknown Target
*mumbles about how ungrateful darkage is when I wrote him in in the HLP movie*

*Fries darkage with a cannon*

ROFL !! i forgot that:D

Meh.

*Dumps high tech weapons and uses hos trusty old sword and matrix style moves*