[an0n]

No arguments, no debates, just post anything funny or ****ed-up you can find in the Bible. And no *****ing about innacurate translations. Even if it's wrong, people still worship it, so it counts:

Deuteronomy 22:28-29[/u]
If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

Judges 19
  22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, "Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him."

    23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, "No, my friends, don't be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don't do this disgraceful thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don't do such a disgraceful thing."

    25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. 26 At daybreak the woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight.

    27 When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, "Get up; let's go." But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.

    29 When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30 Everyone who saw it said, "Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!"

[Unknown Target]

I smell a flame war coming. I recommend this gets locked, but that's just me...

[Martinus]

I think this can be quite educational. It shows how a lot of the bible that is held sacrosanct is no longer relevant in today's society.
Posting the version of the bible would be prudent as some translate things differently. The king james bible for instance  mis-translates 'friend' into homosexual. I'll try and dig up the reference.

[Unknown Target]

Alright, but you won't catch me in here when Liberator finds this

[Goober5000]

It could be educational, yes, but it could also degenerate into a massive flamewar.  It depends on the tone and the post content.

Even so, it's a risky move, especially coming from someone so recently unbanned.  Are you trying to push your luck, an0n?

[Jetmech Jr.]

Now now, since when have you banned people for posting religious threads?

[Goober5000]

Not for posting them.  For flaming in them, or otherwise acting incindiary.  Kazan has been repeatedly monkeyed for such behavior, for example.  Liberator was monkeyed too once.

[ToecrusherHammerjaw]

Hey an0n, you got one that comes out and says directly that being gay is a sin? (Not that I think it is).  So far, from what I read in the Bible, God's not specifically against gays, but is specifically against gay sex (Leviticus 18:22).

EDIT: If this is a real hot-button issue, don't answer this.  I'll just back off.  I don't want to start a flamewar.

[Galemp]

Ooh, everyone loves Leviticus...

2nd Kings 2:23-25
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

Re-reading Exodus, it appears that the ancient Egyptians were also able to turn water to blood and make their staves into snakes, without the power of the LORD, as they would have you believe Moses worked his miracles. I'd really like to see how they did that.

[Rictor]

I'm betting this is mostly Old Testament stuff. From what I've seen or read, they were much more into the wrath and vegance back when it was still Judaism Then Christ came along and kind of told everyone to chill out a bit, and Christianity was born. Turn the other cheek and all that.

[Galemp]

And then they nailed him for a tree for it.

Ironic, isn't it?

[Goober5000]

2nd Kings 2:23-25
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

This warrants clarification: the term translated "youth" is probably better translated "young man".  Note also that the bears mauled "forty-two" of them - signifying that there were more (perhaps many more) than forty-two.  So this was a huge mob of young adults threatening him, not a small group of kindergartners.  Just so there's no misunderstanding.

[Rictor]

That's right. And remember kids: bear attacks can be fun, but turning your beast loose on children is not OK. Once they hit puberty, it's all fair game, but not before. It's also a good idea to only maul groups of people easily divisble by seven. It saves the police a fair bit of paperwork, and creates a positive atmosphere for all involved.

[Night Hammer]

damn theres one in jusdges i cant remember exacty, but its to the effect that a guy stabbed a fat guy with a dagger and like the fat runneth over or some **** like that, used to make me laugh when i was little in sunday school

[Bobboau]

lets try Numbers 31 on for size, some highlights

And the people of Israel took captive the women of Mid'ian and their little ones; and they took as booty all their cattle, their flocks, and all their goods. 10 All their cities in the places where they dwelt, and all their encampments, they burned with fire, 11 and took all the spoil and all the booty, both of man and of beast. 12 Then they brought the captives and the booty and the spoil to Moses, and to Elea'zar the priest, and to the congregation of the people of Israel, at the camp on the plains of Moab by the Jordan at Jericho. 13 Moses, and Elea'zar the priest, and all the leaders of the congregation, went forth to meet them outside the camp. 14 And Moses was angry with the officers of the army, the commanders of thousands and the commanders of hundreds, who had come from service in the war. 15 Moses said to them, "Have you let all the women live? 16 Behold, these caused the people of Israel, by the counsel of Balaam, to act treacherously against the LORD in the matter of Pe'or, and so the plague came among the congregation of the LORD. 17 Now therefore, kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman who has known man by lying with him. 18 But all the young girls who have not known man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

in other words God comanded the his people to rape pillage and plunder, to slaughter captives, captive children, and keep the little girls as basicly sex slaves. aparently God himself gets a little peice of the score later on too.

and on the subject of looting and pillageing, here's another one of God's krazy klassik komedy... komeing at you!
Deuteronomy 3

6 And we utterly destroyed them, as we did to Sihon the king of Heshbon, destroying every city, men, women, and children. 7 But all the cattle and the spoil of the cities we took as our booty. 8

[Galemp]

*waits for Sesquipedalian*

[Martinus]

Re-reading Exodus, it appears that the ancient Egyptians were also able to turn water to blood and make their staves into snakes, without the power of the LORD, as they would have you believe Moses worked his miracles. I'd really like to see how they did that.

LSD dude, they spiked the wine.

[an0n]

How could you not know about the Egyptians?

It's the best part of Ten Commandments. Moses is like "HA! Snakes! Beat that!" then Ramses nods to his priests and they're like "HA! Two snakes! Beat that!" then Moses' snake eats the Egyptian snakes and Ramses gives him this 'you bastard' look.

[an0n]

I think this can be quite educational. It shows how a lot of the bible that is held sacrosanct is no longer relevant in today's society.
Posting the version of the bible would be prudent as some translate things differently. The king james bible for instance mis-translates 'friend' into homosexual. I'll try and dig up the reference.

It doesn't matter.

People still worship it. It may not be the original 'word of God' but it's what the Big 3 are based on.

[General Freak]

There's also the passage where Lot's two daughters get him drunk and sleep with him (it was after some woman got turned into salt..no, I'm not a keen Bible reader, but I re-read that passage again today, just to be sure )