[Martinus]

My sister is hosting christmas dinner this year and we thought we'd make our own crackers, this means that we can fill them with funny jokes instead of the usual type that make you weep out of despair.

Anyhow does anyone know any genuinely good chrimbo jokes, preferably one liners? i.e.

Why did Santa Claus go to jail?
For laying Barbie under the tree...

What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
Snowballs.

[IPAndrews]

Some moderator needs to rename this thread.

[Martinus]

Maybe I should show you some of the ones we discarded but I like you too much so I won't put you through that.

[Deepblue]

I thought you said "good" christmas jokes...

[Martinus]

I thought you said "good" christmas jokes...

For that jibe I shall expose you to this horror:

What does Rudolph want for christmas?
A Sony Sleighstation 2

I thought this one was particularly apt for you.

[Fragrag]

I thought you said "good" christmas jokes...

What does Rudolph want for christmas?
A Sony Sleighstation 2

*Shrivels up and dies*

[General Freak]

Laughing at the crapiness of the jokes  won't make the jokes funny, right?

[Martinus]

Probably not.

I think this is a lost cause to be honest.

[BlackDove]

The train is falling down the cliff.

[Goober5000]

Thread renamed.

I had to move it to the test forum and back, though, using the move tool.  Is there an easier way?

[Martinus]

Newsflash at 6! Goob hates Christmas.

[Goober5000]

[Ulala]

What does Rudolph want for christmas?
A Sony Sleighstation 2

*eyes bleed and melt out of sockets*

Could you try google for 'Christmas jokes'? Hopefully you wouldn't end up with a sleigh-load of dirty ones.  *looks at own joke* ... *Whats left of eyes bleed and melt out of sockets*

[WMCoolmon]

"Your mistletoe is no match for my T.O.W. missile!"

Edit: And an ironic joke...
Q: "What's black and white and red all over?"
A: "A politically correct Santa Clause"

[Bobboau]

Jesus: immaculate conception, or holy ****?

/*oh, come on it's funny*/

[Flipside]

Bah Humbug

[Dough with Fish]

You WoW players might like this one;

Make sure Jesus gets a Soulstone, it's a three day corpse run to nazareth.

[Ransom]

For that jibe I shall expose you to this horror:

What does Rudolph want for christmas?
A Sony Sleighstation 2

Rather than give an actual response, here's a rather embarrassing and unnecessary reenactment of my initial reaction. I hope it teaches you a lesson to never, ever say anything like that again.

*takes some dried frog pills*

[WMCoolmon]

Edit: Some of that stuff is . What's this Ebla, though? It sounds pretty sweet. Same for pompeii.

[Ransom]

Ebla and Pompeii are samples from E.S. Posthumus's music (warning: right now they have some kind of hideous rap thing on their site). I keep them in there cause they took them down from their site for some reason and occasionally I introduce people to them. Highly recommend their album, Unearthed.

That directory has stuff dumped in it whenever I need to just store something somewhere so it's a bit chaotic as I haven't ever cleaned it out.