[Mars]

There's a difference between low self esteem and not hating yourself, you see... if I worried what a complete stranger / idiot thinks of me, and cut myself at night, I have low self esteem; if I appreciate people not poking fun at me at every opportunity / being able to carry on a conversation with my friends without them bringing **** up, that means I don't hate myself.

[Unknown Target]

I have nothing against large women (in fact, I find them just as fun as their thinner counterparts ). I'm just saying that if a guy dates a woman who most men consider to be unattractive, then he'll get teased for it - it's not like it's rocket science (although apparently these scientists have made it out to be).

And what I'm saying is the guy who lets the teasing get in the way of a good relationship has a problem with his own self esteem. The best relationship can be with the most unlikely partner, and the person who lets others opinion get in the way deserves to be alone. What I'm basically saying is don'tl let your friends choose you life for you. After all it's your life!

EDIT: On second thought, my original post was a tad harsh. I was simply saying that as an example of the population as a whole, not my personal life. I am quite content seeking a partner of my choice, whether or not she meets the approval of others.

[AdmiralRalwood]

Just because it seems obvious doesn't mean it is.

QFE

[Flipside]

Heh, it's as much a media led thing as anything else. 200 years ago, it was considered sexy to have a few extra pounds. Even now, the media image of the stick-thin model is failing in favour of more 'normally' built girls.

Thing is, like men, women care what their peers think, peer pressure is far from a new discovery, and that is, in effect, all that they have discovered here. The simple fact that the female is smiling in the picture means that there is something about that person that pleases them, that will be registered by the watcher and stored for later use.

Even at school you'll notice how, when one person gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, they suddenly gain popularity, particularly if they are the partner of a popular person. That's not all teenage hormones at work. Having a partner is still recognised at a primal level as being 'success', you are, by definition, the Alpha Male to those in your group, the one with the mating rights. Even though the rules have changed, that kind of thinking still goes on in the hindbrain.

Basically, that means that when a woman sees a picture of another woman smiling at a man, she assumes this man is 'breedable', for want of a better word, whereas a neutral expression suggests that the person is not an Alpha male.

[WeatherOp]

Basically, that means that when a woman sees a picture of another woman smiling at a man, she assumes this man is 'breedable', for want of a better word, whereas a neutral expression suggests that the person is not an Alpha male.

Or in real words, rich or not rich.

[Ulala]

  but 

[Centrixo]

i dont care on female looks, i love all females around my age for who they are, not who they are not.
ive been out with some tiny girls, well built, thin girls, athletic girls, larger girls, even girls with problems.

i dont have a problem with another person checking out a girl who i am about to go out with because there is more girls out there to check out, as the saying goes 'there is plenty more fish in the sea'.

other males look at me as a joke when i go out with a girl with problems, i dont care what they think, im going to have a good time with this girl, and help her if she has trouble, im not going to let other peoples reactions dicate my life.

[NGTM-1R]

I have this horrible feeling at times that I'm setting myself up to fail because I tend to fall for girls who have depression issues. At times I think I'm looking for a girl to save.

And you know what? So far, I have failed.

[Ulala]

Yeah, I've been given advice that dating to rescue will usually end up not working out.

[Ford Prefect]

That would explain why that ODing heroin addict just kept foaming at the mouth when I told her I'm a Virgo. Some people are just a waste of your time.

[Flipside]

I have this horrible feeling at times that I'm setting myself up to fail because I tend to fall for girls who have depression issues. At times I think I'm looking for a girl to save.

And you know what? So far, I have failed.

I blame Hollwywood for this. Men try to be heros these days, because the role of the male in the realitionship has diminished to a large degree over the years, men have to find other ways to prove how 'manly' they are. Hollywood provides a model of a man who runs to a woman's rescue when she is in distress to be a 'hero' and an instant hit with the girl in question.

In real life, it usually labels you as a mug who can be used as a ladder.

[aldo_14]

I blame Hollwywood for this. Men try to be heros these days, because the role of the male in the realitionship has diminished to a large degree over the years, men have to find other ways to prove how 'manly' they are. Hollywood provides a model of a man who runs to a woman's rescue when she is in distress to be a 'hero' and an instant hit with the girl in question.

In real life, it usually labels you as a mug who can be used as a ladder.

Albeit Hollywood is really only modelling something that's existed for millenia anyways; isn't the notion of the bloke going out and working, and the woman being a housewife, simply an extension of this?

[Unknown Target]

I have this horrible feeling at times that I'm setting myself up to fail because I tend to fall for girls who have depression issues. At times I think I'm looking for a girl to save.

And you know what? So far, I have failed.

I know how you feel. I've had people comment that I'm simply a magnet for girls (and people in general) with issues - I just met two lovely young ladies who both have depression issues. Oh well, they're great people, so I'm not complaining.

And Flipside, er, that's not really Hollywood. That sort of "man-hero" mentality has been around for ages. Prince Charming, anyone?

[IPAndrews]

I would recommend everyone reading this to stay the hell away from women with depression issues.

[Flipside]

Hmmm... True, it all boils down to the 'man as the provider' ethos. But yeah, looking for someone to save is a bad idea, better to look for someone you can rely on to be there when you need saving, that way you can both be there for each other when you need it.

[Wild Fragaria]

Very interesting but true, I think most ordinary looking women are more easier going.  Although I believe a lot of the time, being easy going has a lot to do with the way people are brought up.  I think I am pretty easy going

I thought the study was a bit amusing

[Centrixo]

depressed women are diffucult but can be salvaged from the pit of dispear, what i do is i ask them out, and when ive built up thier confidence enough, i let them dump me that way ive got the girl more happier and im more happier when i have done my task.

[perihelion]

   Right.  No inferior ulterior motives.

[Wild Fragaria]

depressed women are diffucult but can be salvaged from the pit of dispear, what i do is i ask them out, and when ive built up thier confidence enough, i let them dump me that way ive got the girl more happier and im more happier when i have done my task.

Ummm...  Very kind and generous of you, shall I say?

[Centrixo]

if you want