[an0n]

I am starting this to generate both activity and hilarity.

Basically, post your funny stories.

Anyone opposed to this idea is a communist or a palestinian sympathiser and will be deal with by...some kind of tiger which I'll buy later.

Anyways...

So this one time I was on a school trip to France and because I'd been *****ing about what a piece of **** the hotel we were staying in for the night was, I got my room assignment last. This, unfortunately, meant that me and my chum Smithy got roomed with this little asshat who was 2 years below us and was a twin. His brother got put in another room for some stupid reason.

Anyways, I was pissed and made my feelings known, and decided to make it my mission to ensure the kid suffered through a living Hell for the duration of the trip.

So we get our **** unpacked as best we can, **** around for a bit, then go the **** to bed. Or at least the kid did. C'z me and Smithy had decided to stay up setting fire to his clothes while he was asleep.

We do his trousers, throw them out the window, wake him and he goes out to get them. And obviously we lock him out.

Eventually the teachers get involved because he's out in the corridor crying and banging on the door and ****.

So he comes back in, goes back to sleep and I have another idea.

A flamethrower.

Nothing serious. Just a nice burst of flame near his head to scare the **** out of him. Only Smithy's leaning over the edge of the top bunk going "Closer. Closer. A little more..." till the nozzle of the deodorant can is like 2-3 inches from the kid's face. Then I did it.

All I saw was a wave of flame course through the kid's hair with a sparkling, crackling effect. He jumps up screaming, having no ****ing idea what was going on, and I'd immediately shut the flamethrower off as soon as he moved so we were all plunged back into near-pitch-black. But there was just enough light coming through the tiny window to illuminate the kid to the extent I could see him sitting up in the bed, patting his head and trying to feel around his face to find out where his eyebrow went. Which was a nice accompaniment to his gentle whimpering.

For the rest of the trip everyone used his lack of hair to differentiate between him and his brother. Which was handy....

And thus is the tale of how I set a kid's head on fire.

Your turn.

[achtung]

I have lots, but I don't feel like typing them right now.

Expect something later.

[Rand al Thor]

So basically you thought it was hilarious for you and a friend to terrorise a kid two years younger.

Big man.

[jr2]

Eh, what exactly did he do to you, an0n?  Other than existing, I mean.

[Centrixo]

completly stupid.

meanwhile a funny story. i had some random events before which were very funny. i know they happend but i now have to remember them.

[Colonol Dekker]

One time i saw a kid kick a fox, only to have another fox jump io his back in d3efense of his orange mate.. That was pure hilarity.

[Nuke]

there was this one time, in phoenix, when i went riding around in a stolen car wit this 13 year old girl, who not only stole the car but was also driving. it really wasnt a car, but rather one of those mini buses from the 60s. it was 2 am and i was stoned out of my mind and didnt know what i was doing. after some ****ing around on i17 for awhile, we pull into the parking lot of a mall to play dodge the islands. that didnt work too well. she hit one and cleaved the front wheel right off its mountings. i remember saying something along the lines of "dude! youre loosing parts". this was funny later on after i had stopped freaking out. i remember i didnt bring any shoes, which sorta sucked. at least the ground was a pleasant tempurature. we found a cabby which would take weed as payment (the only form of currancy we had) to get us home. when we got there we laughed some more about loosing parts and we agreed never to discuss this again, with anyone. and it worked cause neither of us got arrested. im so glad i dont do drugs no more.

[Polpolion]

there was this one time, in phoenix, when i went riding around in a stolen car wit this 13 year old girl, who not only stole the car but was also driving. it really wasnt a car, but rather one of those mini buses from the 60s. it was 2 am and i was stoned out of my mind and didnt know what i was doing. after some ****ing around on i17 for awhile, we pull into the parking lot of a mall to play dodge the islands. that didnt work too well. she hit one and cleaved the front wheel right off its mountings. i remember saying something along the lines of "dude! youre loosing parts". this was funny later on after i had stopped freaking out. i remember i didnt bring any shoes, which sorta sucked. at least the ground was a pleasant tempurature. we found a cabby which would take weed as payment (the only form of currancy we had) to get us home. when we got there we laughed some more about loosing parts and we agreed never to discuss this again, with anyone. and it worked cause neither of us got arrested. im so glad i dont do drugs no more.

how long ago was that?

[Dark Hunter]

One time i saw a kid kick a fox, only to have another fox jump io his back in d3efense of his orange mate.. That was pure hilarity.

Similar story:

At our zoo the peacocks are free-roaming, and they like to come around one of the more major eating places to pick up table scraps. If anyone pisses 'em off, they do the cool tail-fan thing, displaying all of their beautiful feathers.

A young kid tried to pluck one.

The peacock began screeching and chasing him all over the place. I can't remember if it ever caught him... I think his parents drove it off before it did...

[Nuke]

there was this one time, in phoenix, when i went riding around in a stolen car wit this 13 year old girl, who not only stole the car but was also driving. it really wasnt a car, but rather one of those mini buses from the 60s. it was 2 am and i was stoned out of my mind and didnt know what i was doing. after some ****ing around on i17 for awhile, we pull into the parking lot of a mall to play dodge the islands. that didnt work too well. she hit one and cleaved the front wheel right off its mountings. i remember saying something along the lines of "dude! youre loosing parts". this was funny later on after i had stopped freaking out. i remember i didnt bring any shoes, which sorta sucked. at least the ground was a pleasant tempurature. we found a cabby which would take weed as payment (the only form of currancy we had) to get us home. when we got there we laughed some more about loosing parts and we agreed never to discuss this again, with anyone. and it worked cause neither of us got arrested. im so glad i dont do drugs no more.

how long ago was that?

about 7-8 years ago i think. probibly within 3 months of me moving to az.

[jr2]

im so glad i dont do drugs no more.

Ah, me too.  Imagine if you got your hands on your namesake whilst doing them. 

[perihelion]

I don't imagine the result would be that different if he got his hands on them now...

[Ulala]

Oh, snap.

[redsniper]

So basically you thought it was hilarious for you and a friend to terrorise a kid two years younger.

Big man.

Eh, what exactly did he do to you, an0n?  Other than existing, I mean.

Seriously guys, it's an0n...

[an0n]

So basically you thought it was hilarious for you and a friend to terrorise a kid two years younger.

Big man.

What? I'm supposed to feel bad because I was older than him?

Would you prefer I just judge everyone based solely on their age? Let the young, old, weak and stupid do as they please simply because it's not fair to exercise my superiority?

Cry me a ****ing river, commie....

[jr2]

Ah, I'm 22, you're 21.  If I work out , and you happen to be sleeping in the same room with me, and I think you're an annoying, spoiled rotten brat, does that excuse my lighting your hair on fire?  On the same topic, let's not forget that had the flame followed back to the source succesfully, you would both have been seriously injured, him perhaps fatally.  I know, you probably didn't think of that, and I've used hairspray for a blowtorch before, too... just not int the vicinity of someone's head.  Now, if it had been someone who wasn't terrified of what you did, and was able to accept it as a joke, that'd be one thing.  You have to remember, smaller kids aren't as tough as they make themselves out to be.. they scare pretty easy.

Anyways.  Whatever.  It just kinda scares me that you thought that was hilarious.  Setting people on fire will end you up in jail if you get caught.  Assault & battery, y'know.

So only set your friends on fire, and don't let the can explode! 

[Blaise Russel]

What? I'm supposed to feel bad because I was older than him?

Would you prefer I just judge everyone based solely on their age? Let the young, old, weak and stupid do as they please simply because it's not fair to exercise my superiority?

Cry me a ****ing river, commie....

wow man you're so tough and edgy can i be ur friend plz

[Nuclear1]

So basically you thought it was hilarious for you and a friend to terrorise a kid two years younger.

Big man.

What? I'm supposed to feel bad because I was older than him?

Would you prefer I just judge everyone based solely on their age? Let the young, old, weak and stupid do as they please simply because it's not fair to exercise my superiority?

Cry me a ****ing river, commie....

If it was a 26 year old picking on a 15 year old, I'd have a problem, but two years is nothing.

[Mr. Vega]

What? I'm supposed to feel bad because I was older than him?

Would you prefer I just judge everyone based solely on their age? Let the young, old, weak and stupid do as they please simply because it's not fair to exercise my superiority?

Cry me a ****ing river, commie....

wow man you're so tough and edgy can i be ur friend plz

First time meeting an0n I see...

[TrashMan]

So basically you thought it was hilarious for you and a friend to terrorise a kid two years younger.

Big man.

What? I'm supposed to feel bad because I was older than him?

Would you prefer I just judge everyone based solely on their age? Let the young, old, weak and stupid do as they please simply because it's not fair to exercise my superiority?

Cry me a ****ing river, commie....

SUPERIORITY? 

You're one sick little puppy...my dear little ubermensch...

If that story you wrote is true than there's only one word I have for you ...PATHETIC...