[Aardwolf]

Told go-between guy it's weird that he isn't uneasy about helping me. Because maybe he really is uneasy about it but doesn't want to let on, in which case dammit I need to know so I can tell him why he doesn't need to be; trying to allay his fears before he's even told me about them is likely to just make it worse. And if he really hasn't gotten even a hint of an "obsessed" vibe, then he's not going to be able to relate to <female friend>'s concerns when he eventually talks to her.

I am le tired, therefore I go sleep now.

[deathfun]

And that would be what most people would call anxiety

Pointing it out because obvious mental health implications

[Lorric]

Told go-between guy it's weird that he isn't uneasy about helping me. Because maybe he really is uneasy about it but doesn't want to let on, in which case dammit I need to know so I can tell him why he doesn't need to be; trying to allay his fears before he's even told me about them is likely to just make it worse. And if he really hasn't gotten even a hint of an "obsessed" vibe, then he's not going to be able to relate to <female friend>'s concerns when he eventually talks to her.

I am le tired, therefore I go sleep now.

Well maybe your go-between perhaps knows you don't have evil intentions. Is he a friend? If so then perhaps he really doesn't have an issue helping you.

So this girl actually knows you're obsessed with her? Well that could complicate things... I'm not sure how you allay her concerns if she sees that as a negative. Your go-between can't tell her you're not obsessed anymore.

[ssmit132]

It's certianly not uncommon to get tests like those wrong the first time. If you are only by .02 of a second behind, you might juts be rather good.

Yeah I know, but it's kind of irritating to know you missed by only that much. Honestly, I wasn't miffed for long.

Do some twitch games before the next one to warm up your click reaction speed.

They actually provided a page for testing your reaction speed... but it didn't work properly. Unless I'm expected to be able to click on boxes that appear for only a split second...

No matter though, I attempted it again this morning and passed easily.

[Colonol Dekker]

Hazard perception is just clicking as an action rather than  targeted in the UK.

[Aardwolf]

Guy told me I should just message them. I had to remind him that I can't because they blocked me, that's the whole reason I need your help in the first place, ya doorknob!.

(annoyance exaggerated for comedic effect)

[Lorric]

How long ago did they block you?

[deathspeed]

Guy told me I should just message them. I had to remind him that I can't because they blocked me, that's the whole reason I need your help in the first place, ya doorknob!.

I've been trying to stay out of this, because having gone thru similar situations pre-social media days I know that you will have to experience it for yourself and it won't matter what well-meaning advice others offer.  But I feel I must say this anyway, to ease my own conscience.  If they have blocked you, they had a reason(s), and this pursuit will not end well for you or the mediator.  It will only reinforce their resolve, and will likely ensure that their reticence lasts a literal lifetime, rather than just a few years that feel like one.   [cue violins] I pushed too hard with someone in freaking 1996, and when I reached out to apologize thru facebook from half a continent away 14 years later I got no response.  Years later a mutual friend told me that her response was basically **** off and die, and that she had not only blocked me on FB, but also pre-emptively blocked me on Flickr, MySpace, and anywhere else she could find me.  (I never tried again after the 2010 attempt so I didn't know she had blocked me). 

So go ahead and do what you gotta do; your true friends will still be there to pick up the pieces.  And I do hope that it works out differently for you than it did for me or countless other people in similar situations.

[Mongoose]

As they say, hell hath no fury.

But seriously, if they've actually blocked you (probably should have mentioned this sooner), that's a pretty damn clear "don't go there" signal.  Trying to get around it is bordering on stalker-ish behavior.

[deathfun]

...You really should have led with that one Aardwolf
Reaaaally should have led with that




On a completely unrelated note: My .50 rifle has been sent to me and soon... SOON... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

[Aardwolf]

Mmm.

Well, in this case, her reason for blocking me was because I kept sending her friend requests (because I was too new to Facebook to realize the reappearance of the "add friend" button meant she had rejected my friend request). For whatever it's worth, she didn't block me the first time. (that said, I don't remember whether it was all the same day, or what)

I think it's an impulsive response, and having someone else to represent me should help ensure the message actually gets through. And I'm not just going to give him a message to deliver; I'm going (to try) to have him do the talking (even if I have to coach him). Although, the fact that he's 12h away and doesn't have reliable access to FB might complicate that a bit.

Hopefully this doesn't just end up with her unfriending/blocking him as well. 



Bah. Too much work to keep track of who I've told what.

[Nuke]

give up on this one and go find some strange.

[deathspeed]

On a completely unrelated note: My .50 rifle has been sent to me and soon... SOON... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Ready for some video of a .50 and a can of tannerite!

[deathfun]

Pffft
Can
That's cute
Just a can of tannerite
Haha
Cute

[Polpolion]

(because I was too new to Facebook to realize the reappearance of the "add friend" button meant she had rejected my friend request)

Guy told me I should just message them. I had to remind him that I can't because they blocked me, that's the whole reason I need your help in the first place, ya doorknob!.

Uh...? It's not like she's sending you mixed messages or anything. She explicitly rejected your friend request and went through the effort to block you from sending her messages. It seems like she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you. Am I missing something here? Is there a reason you keep harassing her?

[Aardwolf]

Well if you're going to interpret "has had no means of contacting person" as "has been harassing person", then I'm just not going to tell you anything.

[Sololop]

Well if you're going to interpret "has had no means of contacting person" as "has been harassing person", then I'm just not going to tell you anything.

You did have a means of contact, but you blew it, to be blunt. Time to move on, bud. With all this effort, you could be leagues ahead on a new relationship by now.

[Polpolion]

Well if you're going to interpret "has had no means of contacting person" as "has been harassing person", then I'm just not going to tell you anything.

Ok, ok, trying to harass her. Either way it still sounds like she really doesn't want anything to do with you, and she's made that perfectly clear. Trying to communicate with her through increasingly obscure media isn't going to chanage that. This isn't going to end well.

[The E]

Well, in this case, her reason for blocking me was because I kept sending her friend requests (because I was too new to Facebook to realize the reappearance of the "add friend" button meant she had rejected my friend request). For whatever it's worth, she didn't block me the first time. (that said, I don't remember whether it was all the same day, or what)

I think it's an impulsive response, and having someone else to represent me should help ensure the message actually gets through. And I'm not just going to give him a message to deliver; I'm going (to try) to have him do the talking (even if I have to coach him). Although, the fact that he's 12h away and doesn't have reliable access to FB might complicate that a bit.

Dude. She blocked you. Apparently, she doesn't want you in her life (or rather, her facebook feed). Time to move on before you'll do something you'll regret.

[Lorric]

Ok, ok, trying to harass her.

No, not okay. He's not trying to harass her, he's trying to befriend her.

Please don't push him away.

You people are doing this wrong. He's not going to stop just because you tell him to. Because he's obsessed. People don't just go "oh, okay. That makes sense." And stop obsessing over something just because you advise them to stop obsessing over something. This is not a rational thing. He might be able to pursue the obsession in a rational manner, but the obsession will remain irrational as that is the nature of the beast.

So I think the best we can do is try and minimise the damage to both parties. Killing the obsession might be possible, but I believe it would centre on convincing him honestly that there is absolutely zero possibility of it ever coming to fruition, and there being no possible path to a possibility that results in a positive outcome. To that end I'd be interested in learning about what he intends to communicate and the history between the pair. If the history is too hostile, then there's no way this will work. If it's not so bad, and it is at least several years since they've last interacted with one another, there might be a possibility. And by possibility I mean a really slim one based on what I've read so far. I think he'd have to be sure any and all the problems that had happened between them in the past would no longer be an issue and that his presence in her life would be a positive thing for her for there to be any chance at all.

This girl I don't think is good for him. She doesn't seem to have anything to base a relationship on in terms of having things in common, or even be especially pretty, correct me if I'm wrong about any of this Aardwolf. Yet somehow she is powerfully attractive all the same, and it seems to be at least from what I've read pretty much nothing but that attraction that is drawing him to her. I wonder, what will he do if he gets to talk to her? Does he even know what he would do with her? Does he want to do anything other than bask in her presence? The important thing for him seems to simply be for her to be around because of how it makes him feel. Perhaps something akin to an addiction. This in itself is very dangerous I think, for someone to have that kind of power over you. It could be exploited to control or hurt you...