[iamzack]

Well you're not justified in calling her a *****. You creeped her out.

[Aardwolf]

Well you're not justified in calling her a *****. You creeped her out.

Pffffft. Then she's a mental case.

[Rian]

She ignored the friend request and changed her name (that is, used a different fake last name)
...
A couple weeks ago I found her again (this time by accident), and sent her a somewhat lengthy message, basically asking that she at least give me the courtesy of telling me to stop trying to contact her (and at most adding me as a friend and then not ignoring me when i try to message her)... and what does she do? She blocks me.
....
Unfortunately, this is not the first time someone's done this to me.

You acted like she owed you an explanation, when in fact she doesn’t owe you a thing. She gave you more than one clear signal that she wanted to be left alone, and you ignored them. That is a big fat red flag, even if you didn’t realize you were doing it. If you don’t want to creep people out, don’t act like you’re entitled to their attention. If they want to talk to you they will.

[Bob-san]

Well, that sucks...

 

Don't you hate when you eat some form of stringy meat, and somehow a bit gets stuck between your teeth and slips by unnoticed untill morning when your gum is the size of a peanut.

Floss.

[StarSlayer]

Looking at shinai, I'll need to talk with my instructor next week about what size, 39 I'm guessing, and what style either Dobari, Koto or Chokuto I should pick up.  

[Colonol Dekker]

We are NOT the center of every womans universe. . . I just happen to be their nearest star.
 
 
If a girl from school wanted me to add her, she'd have found me first or at least exchanged wall posts. The extent of my enquiring is two short lines TOPS unless I know them well "didn't we go to school? You were XYZ's mate right?" that sort of thing. . . On that note, how about it Zacky? Add me? :3

[Nuke]

Well you're not justified in calling her a *****. You creeped her out.

Pffffft. Then she's a mental case.

some of em just aint worth yer time. but of course, i learned everything i know about women from david allen coe. of course dont be supprised if she gets knocked up by some abusive asshole who for some reason didnt freak her out, and when that happens, just stand back and laugh.

[Dilmah G]

Copypasted from a note I posted on Facebook:

So there's this girl (who shall remain nameless) who I haven't seen since I graduated high school back in 2007, and I haven't had any contact with her, except for when I found her on Facebook several months ago (using a pseudonym, oddly, with a different last name)... and tried to add her as a friend. She ignored the friend request and changed her name (that is, used a different fake last name).

A couple weeks ago I found her again (this time by accident), and sent her a somewhat lengthy message, basically asking that she at least give me the courtesy of telling me to stop trying to contact her (and at most adding me as a friend and then not ignoring me when i try to message her)... and what does she do? She blocks me.

WTF? I practically handed you the means to get me to leave you alone without hurting my feelings, and instead you take the most painful of the options available!

Unfortunately, this is not the first time someone's done this to me.

AMG.
*SIGH*

Aardwolf. About how many girlfriends did you have in High School? You should've dropped any and every hint of 'stalkerism' by number five. I mean, I'm guilty of checking the ex-girlfriend's myspace page from time to time, but it stops there.

The point is, when women say no, it means NO. Pursuing one after she clearly 'says no'/blocks you, especially when it's online, is a huge no-no. Pull a coke out of the fridge and move onto the next one. Some of my friends learned this lesson after many weekends of chatting up girls at a video arcade we frequent. If you really, absolutely have to talk to this girl again, wait a while.

Something to remember, there are many, many women in the world. Out of every 10 openings you have to chat up a girl, at least 1-3 will fail. This is a fact of life. So do yourself a favour, learn it early, and find another babe. Not saying that you had other motives when contacting the girl, but 'stalker-phobia' applies to the majority of women in general. Persevering with women is most definetely an acquired skill.

Rant over. 

[Colonol Dekker]

It's definitely acquired alright
 
But I think 1 third of every attempt leading to failure is a bit off. If you spam every girl in the street then it's gonna be higher. If you focus your efforts on a specialist group ie clubs that play music you're into. Or the new receptionist at work  (meeting her at one for a cup of tea and a smoke, my invite. but this is purely to build professional familiarity. Something to build on later ) or a mates fit sister. Them the odds increase.

[Dilmah G]

Well, I did say at least. It's generally a fair bit higher, as we all know.

[iamzack]

Just because you creep her out doesn't mean you're a bad guy or that the situation is irrecoverable (but it probably is). Tura creeped me out when I first met him.

[Scotty]

I am still unable to find a girlfriend.  Oh well.

That aside, we got second at Regionals yesterday, so the team's going to State next Saturday.  That is awesome.

[Aardwolf]

Problem is, I wasn't even interested in her as more than someone to talk to... nor was I the last time we met in person. Same goes for just about every similar case.

Oh, and w.r.t.

She gave you more than one clear signal that she wanted to be left alone, and you ignored them. That is a big fat red flag, even if you didn’t realize you were doing it.

Clarity is in the eye of the beholder. Although I was fairly certain it was indeed in response to me that she changed her username, several people I mentioned it to said it was probably unrelated.

And as for

You acted like she owed you an explanation, when in fact she doesn’t owe you a thing.

Nobody deserves to be blocked for something so trivial. What she owes me isn't an explanation. It's the decency to treat me as a respectful, respectable human being, complete with feelings that can be hurt and ought not to be unnecessarily.

Edit: merged accidental double-post

[Turambar]

Nope. The best thing to do with creeps is just ignore them and then block them. Never open up communication with them, because they will suck you into their pity party. If someone gives you the creeps, why on earth would you turn around and talk to them? It's in your best interests to make them go away ASAP.

[Aardwolf]

It's still not humane.

[Turambar]

If you want to be treated nicely, try not seeming like a threat to their safety and well-being.

[StarSlayer]

It's still not humane.

This the part where Gerard Butler yells "This is the Internet!"

[Turambar]

Oh btw, those last posts were iamzack

[Aardwolf]

If you want to be treated nicely, try not seeming like a threat to their safety and well-being.

Ah, and when did I ever do that? Or do you mean to suggest that there was no way I could possibly contact her without seeming like a threat?

@turambar w.r.t. zasz: I kinda figured

[Rian]

You cannot send her a lengthy message after she has already indicated she’s not interested in talking (by way of ignoring your friend request, if not the name change) without looking like you have no respect for her personal boundaries. Someone who does not respect that kind of signal is unlikely to respect other boundaries either, and thus becomes a plausible threat. Most women are highly sensitive to this kind of threats, as a matter of self-preservation. This is an unfortunate side effect of our culture, and unlikely to change any time soon.

Sending her the first friend request was an appropriate method of initiating contact. But if she’d wanted to talk to you, she would have accepted it. Sending a long message demanding an explanation was inappropriate, and sending any kind of reply would have continued the unwanted interaction. From her perspective, the best and safest course of action is to cut off the contact immediately, and if you pursued her any further from this point it would probably be considered stalking.

Better luck next time.