I'm stuck in an emotional conflict which is really starting to wear me down
While back, I had started talking to a friend a great deal (long distance friend) which ended up with my keeping her together as she went through a ****ty bloody time (relationship ****). We started talking everyday, etc, and inevitable became really close. After a point, we realized that we really like eachother but the problem with distance and some other factors considered, it isn't the best situation.
In comes in a dating profile which lead to her meeting a guy. Initially, I had no problems with this (she needed it, I couldn't provide the physical etc). I had come to the conclusion that it was better for her to take this opportunity and see it through. We of course, didn't stop our shenanigans which leads to us both still being tightly knit and perhaps improving upon that
As of late though, its starting to drain me emotionally. She makes me feel things I haven't really felt ever and the fact I can't see any of that through hits me inside
The feeling isn't one sided though; we both have that for eachother. So I try to do what's right and promote the local rather than myself as opposed to the side of me that wants her for myself (because again, details that support decision not worth getting into). It's a conflict that eats away at me
Not the first time I've put others ahead of myself, but it just doesn't get any easier
She's my best and closest friend I have and this ****ing sucks
I cannot simply walk away, and I can't change the dynamic. If the dynamic changes, the relationship changes and what we built simply crumbles. That is simply not an option
