Ye gads! 1600+ pages for Part 1??
It appears to be your standard fanfic (i.e. burgeoning writing skills without a developed, singular, personal voice) and the author needs to better edit his grammar and punctuation usage. General Battuta is certainly correct on length not being an indicator of quality. In fact, I'm currently reading The Art and Craft of Feature Writing by WSJ author William E. Blundell. In his chapter on recommended reading for student/beginning writers, he states, "When in doubt, the buyer can always apply this verbiage standard: All books over 500 pages that weren't written by Dickens or a dead Russian are better left on the shelf."
Good book by the way...and useful for more than just journalistic tendencies.