[Enzo03]

Let the circus begin:

From Alex Koffi.
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire in
West Africa.

My Dearest, 
 
Good day,may the blessings of God be upon you and grant you the wisdom and sympathy to understand my situation and how much I need your help. After going through your profile , l was convinced that you are reputable and a trust worthy person who can help me.

I am contacting you with the hope that you will be of great assistance to me. My name is Alex Koffi, 20 years old boy from Cote D'Ivoire . My father and i escaped from our country at the heat of the civil war after loosing my mother and two of my senior brothers in the war. As a result of the political instability in my country even after the war, my father established his cocoa and coffee export business in my country Abidjan , Ivory Coast.

He was in Burke, A northern city to negotiate for the purchase of a cocoa plantation when he was shot by the rebel troupes fighting to take over the Government of the country. The death of my father has now made me an orphan and thereby exposing me to danger.
Before his unfortunate death, my late father called me beside his sick bed and told me as his only surviving son, that he had deposited in one of the prominent bank here in our country the sum of $10million Dollars. with my name as the next of kin.

As a result of the present insecurity of lives and property in this country, I wish request that you assist me use your account in your country to transfer my inherited fund for onward business investment.
Again to assist me with a letter of invitation that will make me get a visa to your country for residence in order for me to continue my education under your care and to invest the fund in a viable business venture.

I am willing to give you 15% while 5% has been earmarked for expenses. I will appreciate it if you respond to me as soon as you received my e-mail so that we can discuss further on this matter. 
 
Thanks and God bless you. 
 
From Alex Koffi.

Dear Friend,
 
 I am (Mussa Ali)  the bill and exchange manager at the foreign remittance departmentof BANK OF AFRICA.
Ouagadougou Burkina faso West Africa with due respect and regard.I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction.
 
During our investigation and auditing in this bank , my department came across a very hugesum of money belonging to a aperson who died on in a plane crash and the fund has been dormant in his account with this Bank with out any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery
to this developement.
 
The said amount was TWENTY TWO MILLION  FIVE HUNDERD THOUSAND united states dollars.($22.5000.000) Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put the claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased;get the requiredapproval and transfer
 
this money to a foriegn account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity. i could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civiassist(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foriegn account and wouldeventually raise an eye brow on my side during the great business opportunity. i could have done this deal alone
but because of my position in this country as a civiassist(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foriegn account and wouldeventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer becuase i work it may be after due verification and assist by the correspondent branch of the bank where the money will be remitted from to your own designation bank account.
 
I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction,you will be entitled to 40%of the total sum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills; while 60% will be for me. Please;you have been adviced to keep top secret as i am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you.
 
I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment,either in your country or any country you advice us to invest.All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when i
 hear from you.
Yours faithfully
Mussa Ali

Dear Friend,

Good day to you, I know that my message will come to you as a surprise, but never mind, I am Mr.Mohamed Aziz, the credit officer in BOA Bank of Africa here in my country Burkina-Faso west Africa, In my department here in the bank I discover an abandon sum of $12.5Million United State Dollars, that belong to one of our biggest customer here in this bank, who died years ago in a plane crash with his family, I contacted you so that you will help me see that the total sum of $12.5Million will be transfer into your account in your country.

And after the successful transfer i will come over to your country to meet you, and we shall share 50% for you while 50% will be for me, if you agree to help me, I will like you to get back to me immediately

You should call me as soon as you reply my mail so that I can check my mailing box and give you the details about this deal
Thanks and have a nice day.
Mr.Mr.Mohamed Aziz
This is my private personal contact number +226 75 35 06 33

[Locutus of Borg]

They can't spell in fact lololololol

[watsisname]

How are they spelling "in fact"?

edit: oh, that's how

[Topgun]

seems legit...

[BengalTiger]

Just tell them your phone number is 202-456-1414, and ask them to call.

[Pred the Penguin]

Call that number and might learn how to leave the planet.

[Nemesis6]

Mugu, mugu, mugu!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1nKR3gYRY8&feature=related

[Enzo03]

ONNEA!!!

Meillä on ilo ilmoittaa, että olet voittanut summan viisisataatuhatta Britannian punta £ 500,000.00 GBP Yahoo! MSN (Windows Live) Awards-ohjelman.

YAHOO! kerää kaikki sähköpostiosoitteet ihmisiä, jotka ovat aktiivisia verkossa, joukossa miljoonia ovat merkinneet Yahoo ja Hotmail ja muutamat muut sähköpostipalvelujen tarjoajat. Kuusi ihmistä on valittu kuukausittain hyötyä edistäminen ja sinä olet yksi Valitut voittajat.

MAKSAMINEN PALKINTO JA-VAATIMUS
Voittajat maksetaan mukaisesti hänen Settlement Centre.Yahoo palkinto on lunastettava viimeistään 15 päivän kuluessa Draw ilmoitus. Kaikki palkinto ei ole haettu määräajassa
menetetään.

Alla esitettyjen teidän numerot:
ERÄNUMERO: YPA/07-43658
VIITENUMERO: 2007234522
PIN: 1206

Olet täten neuvoja saada takaisin meille ottamalla yhteyttä oman Vapaa Officer Mr.john markkaa korvausta.

Yhteystiedot: Mr.john merkki.
Sähköposti: [email protected]
Sähköposti: [email protected]
Puhelin: +2348035434574

Ystävällisin terveisin,
Mrs. Carol Jones
Online koordinaattorin
Yahoo Palkinnot ja Windows LIVE-OHJELMA, arvonnat Kansainvälinen ohjelma.

VAROITUS! Älä kerro ihmisille oman palkinto kunnes rahat on onnistuneesti luovutetaan voit välttää kielto, joka voi syntyä kaksinkertainen vaatimus.

Voit myös saada samanlaisia sähköposteja ihmisiltä kuvaajana on muiden organisaatioiden tai Yahoo Inc. Tämä on vain kerätä henkilökohtaisia tietoja sinusta ja hakea yli voittosi. Vuonna Jos saat sähköpostiviestejä samanlainen ilmoituskirje joka lähetettiin sinulle ystävällisesti poistaa sen omaan postilaatikkoon ja antaa enää kirjeenvaihto kyseisen henkilön tai elimen. YAHOO! ei pidetä vastuussa mistään menetyksistä rahasto johtuvat edellä mainituista.
====================================================================
CONGRATULATIONS!!!

We are delighted to inform you that you have won the sum of five hundred thousand Great Britain Pounds Sterling £500,000.00 GBP from YAHOO! MSN (WINDOWS LIVE) Awards programme.

YAHOO! collects all the email addresses of the people that are active online, among the millions that subscribed to Yahoo and Hotmail and few from other e-mail providers. Six people are selected monthly to benefit from this promotion and you are one of the Selected Winners.

PAYMENT OF PRIZE AND CLAIM
Winners shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Centre.Yahoo Prize Award must be claimed not later than 15 days from date of Draw Notification. Any prize not claimed within this period
will be forfeited.

Stated below are your identification numbers:
BATCH NUMBER: YPA/07-43658
REFERENCE NUMBER: 2007234522
PIN: 1206

you are hereby advice to get back to us by contacting with your Clearance Officer Mr.john mark for your Claim.

Contact:Mr.john mark.
Email:[email protected]
Email:[email protected]
Phone:+2348035434574

Yours faithfully,
Mrs.. Carol Jones
Online co-ordinator for
YAHOO AWARDS & WINDOWS LIVE PROGRAMME,Sweepstakes International program.

WARNING ! Do not tell people about your Prize Award until your money is successfully handed over to you to avoid disqualification that may arise from double claim.

You may also receive similar e-mails from people portraying to be other Organizations or Yahoo Inc . This is solely to collect your personal information from you and lay claim over your winning. In event that you receive any e-mail similar to the notification letter that was sent to you,Kindly delete it from your mail box and give no further correspondence to such person or body. YAHOO! shall not be held responsible for any loss of fund arising from the above mentioned.

[Enzo03]

So bumps might not be the most smiled upon thing in this forum, but I got another one:

Dear friend,

I am Mrs Mei Chen Fang. and i have been surffering from ovarian cancer disease and the doctor says that i have just two days to leave.I am from (Lhasa) China but based in Africa Burkina Faso since eight years ago as business woman dealing with gold exportation.Now that i am about to end the race like this,without any family members and no child.I have 3 Million US DOLLARS in Bank Of Africa (ADB) Burkina Faso which i instructed the bank to give St Andrews Missionary Home in Burkina Faso.But my mind is not at rest because i am writting this letter now through the help of my computer beside my sick bed.

I also have 4.5Million US Dollars at BOA BANK here in Burkina Faso and i instructed the bank to transfer the money to the first foreigner that will apply to the bank after i have gone that they should release the fund to him/her,but you will assure me that you will take 50% of the money and give 50% to the orphanages home in your country for my heart to rest.You are to contact the bank through this email address:([email protected] )

Yours fairly friend,
Madam Mei ChenFang.

I am indeed posting these for comic relief... I mean.. I find them funny, is that bad?

[PsychoLandlord]

Why is it that no matter what, no matter what nationality the sender is, these scams always originate from Africa? Do countries there actually pay people to do this or something?

[General Battuta]

TWO DAYS TO LEAVE

[JCDNWarrior]

Dear sirs,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Br6dK5yZQk

I'll leave this in your care.

[Gortef]

I still think that this one is one of the best ones ever.

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

 

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
[email protected]

http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/

[Mefustae]

* Mefustae is shocked (!!!) to hear the plight of Dr Tunde!

[JCDNWarrior]

I sense a new meme or reference

[Snail]

Major Tunde, we salute you!

[The E]

He's in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

[Dilmah G]

  !

Hahahahahaahah! Ohh, you Nigerians! That's almost better than the plot of Modern Warfare: 2!

[PsychoLandlord]

Good God. 

[Gortef]

Especially this part made me laugh "He is in good humor, but wants to come home.".
So being 14 years in space... alone... is not such a big deal. Kind of like "Yea it's sort of ok here, but I'd like to go home for a change."