[deathfun]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

[S-99]

Perhaps then you would have bread that would land on any of the sides with crust.

[Nuke]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

still seems like a waste of a perfectluy good crotch warmer cat

[qazwsx]

Butter it, fold in half with butter in middle.
Problem solved.

[LordMelvin]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

I'm very much afraid you're mistaken. Experimental attempts have disproven the validity of this theoretical energy source, due to vagaries in string theory pertaining to the need to fasten the feline to the bread. The act of tying string around the cat to attach it to the bread seems to negate the separateness of the two entities, leading to a superposition of both states as the cat maneuvers within the string's confines.

This study also led to some interesting, though inconclusive, results in the field of bandage preference among scientific experimenters, with flexible fabric band-aid-brand bandages winning out handily over both other name brands and generic fabric bandages. Bactine, similarly, showed a strong presence in researcher preference.

[deathfun]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

I'm very much afraid you're mistaken. Experimental attempts have disproven the validity of this theoretical energy source, due to vagaries in string theory pertaining to the need to fasten the feline to the bread. The act of tying string around the cat to attach it to the bread seems to negate the separateness of the two entities, leading to a superposition of both states as the cat maneuvers within the string's confines.

This study also led to some interesting, though inconclusive, results in the field of bandage preference among scientific experimenters, with flexible fabric band-aid-brand bandages winning out handily over both other name brands and generic fabric bandages. Bactine, similarly, showed a strong presence in researcher preference.

Indeed you are correct about it becoming a single entity, however two different laws still apply to said entity. You cannot fulfill the two different laws, therefore it maintains validity. When I said two different entities, I was meaning exactly that. You have a cat, which has his own law, and buttered bread, which has his own law. Two entities becoming one entity, but with an impossibility to fulfill both laws

[LordMelvin]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

I'm very much afraid you're mistaken. Experimental attempts have disproven the validity of this theoretical energy source, due to vagaries in string theory pertaining to the need to fasten the feline to the bread. The act of tying string around the cat to attach it to the bread seems to negate the separateness of the two entities, leading to a superposition of both states as the cat maneuvers within the string's confines.

This study also led to some interesting, though inconclusive, results in the field of bandage preference among scientific experimenters, with flexible fabric band-aid-brand bandages winning out handily over both other name brands and generic fabric bandages. Bactine, similarly, showed a strong presence in researcher preference.

Indeed you are correct about it becoming a single entity, however two different laws still apply to said entity. You cannot fulfill the two different laws, therefore it maintains validity. When I said two different entities, I was meaning exactly that. You have a cat, which has his own law, and buttered bread, which has his own law. Two entities becoming one entity, but with an impossibility to fulfill both laws

Your interpretation is, indeed, valid under the traditional post-Newtonian Murphy-Heisenberg physics model. However, if you apply cutting edge pseudo-quantum analysis to this you'll find that, in light of the obvious applications of string theory, the two are combined into what I will, for lack of a better term, call a poly-brane, at which point the hyper-quantum nature of the string, regrettably, surmounts the obvious neo-murphyonic nature of the cat-bread duality, resulting in scratches all over my freaking arms and face. Q.E.D.

[deathfun]

why dont you just butter both sides of the toast? it uses more butter but frees up the cat for other uses, such as crotch warmer.

See, if the same piece of toast were to be buttered on both sides, it would simply just land. Afterall, it'd be fulfilling the requirement of buttersidedown. And, since it's the same entity and same applicable law, it takes away the need for both sides to hit the ground buttersidedown. In order to properly create a generator, you require two entities that have two different laws about them. Had I taken two pieces of toast and put them together, it'd still land buttersidedown, without breaking any rules. Now, if a cat landed on his feet with the buttered bread on top, it'd be breaking the law of the buttersidedown (and vice versa). Therefore, you cannot butter two sides of the bread and expect it to work since it'd be adhering to the law

Good day sir

I'm very much afraid you're mistaken. Experimental attempts have disproven the validity of this theoretical energy source, due to vagaries in string theory pertaining to the need to fasten the feline to the bread. The act of tying string around the cat to attach it to the bread seems to negate the separateness of the two entities, leading to a superposition of both states as the cat maneuvers within the string's confines.

This study also led to some interesting, though inconclusive, results in the field of bandage preference among scientific experimenters, with flexible fabric band-aid-brand bandages winning out handily over both other name brands and generic fabric bandages. Bactine, similarly, showed a strong presence in researcher preference.

Indeed you are correct about it becoming a single entity, however two different laws still apply to said entity. You cannot fulfill the two different laws, therefore it maintains validity. When I said two different entities, I was meaning exactly that. You have a cat, which has his own law, and buttered bread, which has his own law. Two entities becoming one entity, but with an impossibility to fulfill both laws

Your interpretation is, indeed, valid under the traditional post-Newtonian Murphy-Heisenberg physics model. However, if you apply cutting edge pseudo-quantum analysis to this you'll find that, in light of the obvious applications of string theory, the two are combined into what I will, for lack of a better term, call a poly-brane, at which point the hyper-quantum nature of the string, regrettably, surmounts the obvious neo-murphyonic nature of the cat-bread duality, resulting in scratches all over my freaking arms and face. Q.E.D.

The problem with that, is that you're basing heavily off of theory. However, you have indeed mentioned a distinct factual part. Scratches are sure to come thus rendering the cost benefit of having a murderous feline plotting against you not being worth having a generator that when it breaks down... you'll have to deal with the cat.

[Nuke]

i just taped a slice of buttered toast to my cat and all it did is make him not like me anymore. your all a bunch of ****ing trolls

[S-99]

Taping buttered bread to a cat will certainly make it float. But, you can achieve this with just the bread if you dip the whole slice in butter. This will 100% cover the surface area of the bread with butter.

1. Drop the bread from any height.
2. Bread will have a mental break down mid fall on which side should hit the ground.
3. It floats.

[Herra Tohtori]

Guys you are missing something important here.

Homogenous force fields can't be used to generate energy, only to store it (and get it back when convenient).

In other words even if you can make the cat/bread combination float (or just the bread although I would like to point out obvious handling and maintenance difficulties with entirely buttered bread - it would require magnetic confinement so as to not disturb the butter coating), this would not be sufficient to generate kinetic energy.

There are other examples where the same thing happens, namely superconducting levitation, vacuum-generated attracting force on plates at close proximity due to Casimir effect, gravitational potential energy, springs, and rubber bands.

In all these cases, a force is present, but does not do work. To make the force do work, a deflection from balance state is required - which means you're putting energy into the system.


In other words, no free energy from cats and buttered bread. Both examples would, when dropped, fall to close proximity with the nearest surface in the direction of positive gravitational gradient, at which point the effects of buttered bread and cat would kick in and result in stabilized levitation, at which point it would be of no use to anyone but science fair organizers and the Nobel committee.



There is also a competing hypothesis that the cat would simply ignore the bread and butter, and an entirely buttered bread would simply fall any side down. Also if bread is really light and there's a thick coating of butter, that makes butter side heavier but doesn't significantly move the centre of aerodynamic pressure, and when centre of gravity and centre of pressure are misaligned you end up with a stable projectile that tends to align itself so that centre of pressure is behind the centre of gravity.

Ie. a buttered bread, falling a great distance, would tend to stabilize itself to fall butter-side first.

This view has never gained much foothold, though, and should be considered a marginal possibility only until it has been experimentally confirmed.



By the way, the clever ideas playing around with bread-butter topology are NOT A GOOD IDEA. At best, you'll rip a hole in the bread-butter continuum. At worst, butter and bread crumbs will be everywhere like an Eldritch Abomination.


Also, I have always wondered how buttered breads behave in microgravity, such as onboard a space station. Is the tendency to "fall" butter side down related to gravity, or more of an attractive force between the butter and nearby surfaces, and gravity gradient direction only explains why the bread most often contacts the floor as opposed to walls or the ceiling?

It could be some sort of timeline effect where the adhesive effect of butter acting between surface and bread, from the future, affect the present!


This warrants experimentation.

[Wobble73]

this thread has gone nuts! 

[The E]

Personally, I am of the opinion that it went sane.

[Wobble73]

THAT'S IT!!! I'm building an asylum to put the world in........Where have all the dolphins gone? And why is this fish bowl engraved with the words "So long and thanks for all the fish"?

 

[LordMelvin]

This must be a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

[LordPomposity]

This must be a Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

That's because you're a closed-minded Christofascist hurr durr

[Polpolion]

Toast-cat advocates also tend to neglect the amount of work required to construct a toast-cat device. I'm sure everyone understands the cat's natural propensity to land on its feet, but the cat also possesses an equal quantity of toastophobicity. Ie, a cat that would give up trying to right itself during fall for some amount of time would also resist toast attachment for an equal amount of time. In addition to those poor, at best, energy gains the wounds sustained from toast attachment mean that the toast-cat device will remain little more than a novelty.

[S-99]

I have a question. Will the toast cat generator still float if you do not feed it?

[Ravenholme]

Personally, I am of the opinion that it went sane.

Glad I'm not the only one of this opinion.

[Mikes]

Toast-cat advocates also tend to neglect the amount of work required to construct a toast-cat device. I'm sure everyone understands the cat's natural propensity to land on its feet, but the cat also possesses an equal quantity of toastophobicity. Ie, a cat that would give up trying to right itself during fall for some amount of time would also resist toast attachment for an equal amount of time. In addition to those poor, at best, energy gains the wounds sustained from toast attachment mean that the toast-cat device will remain little more than a novelty.

The answer is of course as simple as it is self-evident: Merely by injecting the toast into the cats genetic code we could solve the world's energy problems forever.