Author Topic: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!  (Read 61474 times)

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Offline TrashMan

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
I'm still alive. And I plan on staying that way.

Not something you have to worry about, safe and cozy back in the base. REAL men with plentifull balls are out there, risking their lives.
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline NGTM-1R

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
It keeps happening!

Even when reality is rewritten, it still happens. (You'll find out more once I knock that bit in to shape at lunch or tonight.)
"Load sabot. Target Zaku, direct front!"

A Feddie Story

 

Offline Rodo

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
What a wuss you are spoon!, it was just a grazing shot and it only scratched a little paint out. (plus I got to kill an alien with a granade with your name on it).
Get your frikking karma **** out of my back.

I'll revive, I swear.

EDIT: it's revive right?
el hombre vicio...

 

Offline Polpolion

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
I'm still alive. And I plan on staying that way.

Not something you have to worry about, safe and cozy back in the base. REAL men with plentifull balls are out there, risking their lives.

unfortunately the longer you spend in the field the amount of balls you have inevitably decreases, right along with total body mass.

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Cybernetics man. I'll get balls of steel (literally)! And a shaft to match.
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline StarSlayer

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Cybernetics man. I'll get balls of steel (literally)! And a shaft to match.

Good luck enjoying intercourse with your metal phallus, that is of course assuming it was forged in the up position in which case enjoy walking around in public and getting laughed at. :P
“Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world”

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Cybernetics man. I'll get balls of steel (literally)! And a shaft to match.

Good luck enjoying intercourse with your metal phallus, that is of course assuming it was forged in the up position in which case enjoy walking around in public and getting laughed at. :P


You still live in the 15th century or what? Ever watched transformers? Hint: extremities can bend, move and do other stuff.
Also, having a chip in your head does open a whole lot of possibilites.
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline Scotty

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
> asks if you live in the past.
> makes reference to futuristic alien transforming robots as if that's the state of technology.

Hint: Transformers isn't real.

 

Offline StarSlayer

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Besides good luck finding a woman who wants your Michael Bay Monstrosity.  :P
“Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world”

 

Offline Spoon

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Besides good luck finding a woman who wants your Michael Bay Monstrosity.  :P
Please don't confuse bayformers with transformers  :(
Urutorahappī!!

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them

 

Offline LordMelvin

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
given the context, I think it's pretty clear which particular bayformer (from bayformers ii, I believe) trashy was referring to.
Error: ls.rnd.sig.txt not found

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Besides good luck finding a woman who wants your Michael Bay Monstrosity.  :P

You'd be surprised.
There is an advantage to go on an on like the energizer bunny. That and your high-tehc dong being highly customizible and adaptable.

Speakign of whihc..back to more mission reports!
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline NGTM-1R

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Stop ****ting up every thread in Games, dammit!

So, updates.

First, my save corrupted as already mentioned. Apparently, sectoids are metagaming bastards. So we did the Havana mission over again, and made a much more clean win. Rodo, Jr2, congratulations: due to quantum uncertainty you're no longer dead, at least for awhile. Headdie is no longer permitted to use a missile launcher after he nearly killed TrashMan by reaction-firing a rocket into an enemy who was only four squares away from Trash. Rodo shot the tank, again. Titan blew up a gas station (and a cyberdisc). And SpardaSon is now a Sergeant. We'll call his group “the B Team”. Those of you under The E are now “the A Team”, but wearing of gold chains is punishable by immediate execution.

We have some good news. First, a major expansion of Dekker's Pad is underway to allow it to house an Interceptor and more radar equipment. We will also be moving some manufacturing operations there after fiance informed me it might be possible to free ourselves from the pitiful amount of money we get from the member nations by building laser cannon for export.

Dekker's Pad also detected its first UFO, over Germany. It headed out over the Atlantic but ran into Dekker himself and Interceptor 1, who shot it down several hundred miles out to sea. Member nation naval units are sweeping the area, but it's doubtful anything will be recoverable; the ocean is too deep there. At the same time a UFO was detected over South America, coming north. Interceptor 2 and Nuke met it off the Florida Keys, but were unable to close to weapons range until it was over land. A pair of Avalanche AAMs completely destroyed the target, most of the remaining debris falling into the Everglades.

HLPX-COM again denies the use of nuclear weapons. Particularly with Elerium enhancement.


There is also an ongoing alien attack on Nairobi. The Skyranger is en route.

The welcoming committee is decidedly cold and robotic, so SpardaSon and Rodo kill it. This is what happens when a cyberdisc dies, by the way; you see why Col. Fishguts, who fought one at relatively short range inside a UFO, was lucky to escape with his life when it went down.


Another cyberdisc approaches from beyond the convenience store that Darius brought us down next to. Rodo and Fishguts both engage and score a hit each, but the cyberdisc fires back and hits Spoon's tank. This proves the aliens have not learned a critical lesson: don't **** with Spoon. A single round from the new Laser Tank brings the cyberdisc down.


You might notice something different now. This is the new HLPX-COM Personal Armor. Made of the same materials as the UFOs we've been fighting, it is primarily flexible metallic mesh with solid inserts in key areas. The mesh is proof against any Earth-designed small arm save for our own Lasers, and the inserts offer some protection again alien plasma weapons, though not very much. Still, the odds of being merely wounded rather than killed by plasma fire are measurably higher.

We didn't have enough to outfit the whole team when the call came in, so the suits were issued in the order people come off the Skyranger.

This alien tried to kill SpardaSon. He missed and hit the ramp of the Skyranger. SpardaSon fired a snapshot back and hit the alien in the face with a high-explosive rocket. The alien no longer has a face, or a life. (And it's not because he took up Let's Playing.)


Trashman, who has been experimentally armed with a missile launcher, blows the **** out of a cyberdisc...accidentally destroying the one that Spoon gutted. Oh well.


Remember when I said you had measurably higher odds of just being wounded? That's not the same thing as “good”. Fishguts is unfortunate enough to demonstrate for us that the new armor is still vulnerable, and goes down with a huge hole in his side. He's gone.


Rodo absorbs a grenade. Thanks to the armor and some distance, causalities are relatively light. Rodo is killed. Titan, kneeling on the ramp of the Skyranger, is injured, and so is SpardaSon. TrashMan might or might not be inside the blast radius, but if he was his armor protected him completely. Trash applies first aid to Titan, who then applies it to SpardaSon, while Jr2 deploys from inside the Skyranger and spots the responsible alien, blasting it with two hits in the side of the head from his laser rifle.


Spoon, having gone around the other side of the building, reports a third cyberdisc. This one is in visible flight rather than just being off the ground. He fires once but the shot does not connect. Jr2 spots a fourth cyberdisc moving up past its previously disabled comrade and brings it down with six rounds and four hits while Spoon and the cyberdisc he spotted get in a shooting match. Both heavily damage the other. Trashman, having reloaded his missile launcher, steps out wide to clear the store we landed next to and kills the cyberdisc.


Dry on missiles now, Trash recovers Col. Fishguts' laser rifle to carry on the fight.


The E takes down an alien that Trash spotted lurking in the strip mall across the street. He reloads the launcher afterwards.


This alien threw a grenade at Titan and Jr2 as they entered the huge smoke cloud caused by repeated missile and cyberdisc detonations on the far side of the store. It missed, badly, and neither of them was actually injured. Titan sprays nine laser beams inaccurately at the alien, but his injuries are inhibiting his aim and none connect. Jr2 takes it down with a single well-aimed shot through the left eye.


Meanwhile, this alien attempted to use a stun launcher on Spoon's tank. Not only is this a highly dubious plan in and of itself since you can't stun a tank, the alien actually hit the fence next to it and knocked itself out. For its ineptitude it will now spend many hours being interrogated by HLPX-COM scientists.


Trashman spotted another cyberdisc. The E used his last missile to kill it.


The team spreads out, hunting for more aliens, but no contact is made for several turns. They're out there, though, since they can be heard firing on occasion at civilians. Mjn.Maxel locates one behind a building.

This alien started off is looking the wrong way. It never sees Mjn.Maxel raise his rifle to open fire...but despite a hit between the should blades, it somehow manages to spin around and return a couple of plasma rounds. Both miss, one striking the hedge, one passing between Mjn.Maxel and the corner he just stepped out from behind, through the window behind him and the store, out the blasted front, and across the street, nearly hitting Trashman. Unfortunately for the alien, Mjn.Maxel and Axem are operating on the buddy system. Axem rushes forwards and shoots the alien high in chest, so it has matching front and back wounds. It goes down with an anguished scream.


TrashMan finds the last alien hiding in a warehouse and blasts it. (I finally caught one mid-death animation.)


Mission complete. Now if only I'd remembered to grab the screen! We won by a decent but not very impressive amount, about 260 points, and for the first time managed not to kill civilians ourselves.
"Load sabot. Target Zaku, direct front!"

A Feddie Story

 

Offline General Battuta

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
I am so weirdly invested in this LP

Good to see the Spoonzer Elite tearing it up

 

Offline FireSpawn

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Looking at screenshots and the witty commentry of someone else playing a turn based strategy that is almost two decades old, should not be this fun.
If you hit it and it bleeds, you can kill it. If you hit it and it doesn't bleed...You are obviously not hitting hard enough.

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Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

 

Offline headdie

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
* headdie hangs my head in shame at nearly killing TrashMan

Can I at least take a heavy laser into battle? I dont mind carrying spare rockets for the others!
Minister of Interstellar Affairs Sol Union - Retired
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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Oh no, they're stupid Team 2, and we're awesome Team 1.  When I get out of the hospital those aliens can bite my shiny alloy-melted ass.
17:37:02   Quanto: I want to have sexual intercourse with every space elf in existence
17:37:11   SpardaSon21: even the males?
17:37:22   Quanto: its not gay if its an elf

[21:51] <@Droid803> I now realize
[21:51] <@Droid803> this will be SLIIIIIGHTLY awkward
[21:51] <@Droid803> as this rich psychic girl will now be tsundere for a loli.
[21:51] <@Droid803> OH WELLL.

See what you're missing in #WoD and #Fsquest?

[07:57:32] <Caiaphas> inspired by HerraTohtori i built a supermaneuverable plane in ksp
[07:57:43] <Caiaphas> i just killed my pilots with a high-g maneuver
[07:58:19] <Caiaphas> apparently people can't take 20 gees for 5 continuous seconds
[08:00:11] <Caiaphas> the plane however performed admirably, and only crashed because it no longer had any guidance systems

 

Offline General Battuta

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
* headdie hangs my head in shame at nearly killing TrashMan

Can I at least take a heavy laser into battle? I dont mind carrying spare rockets for the others!

Heavy lasers are terrible, you don't want one.

We'll all be using heavy plasma soon anyway, I'm sure.

 

Offline Spoon

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Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
This new tank is beast, I'm loving it.
Spoonzer Elite, I like this title  ;7

Quote
Rodo, Jr2, congratulations: due to quantum uncertainty you're no longer dead, at least for awhile. Rodo shot the tank, again.

Rodo absorbs a grenade. Thanks to the armor and some distance, causalities are relatively light. Rodo is killed.
And too bad Rodo, you cannot escape Karma. Once you friendly fire the sacred tank, your fate is sealed  :p

Quote
Headdie is no longer permitted to use a missile launcher after he nearly killed TrashMan by reaction-firing a rocket into an enemy who was only four squares away from Trash.
Karma's warning shot, your earlier transgression against my tank has not been forgotten.

I am also getting the vague impression that squad morale is going to drop hard when The E bites it (let's hope that never happens!)

Is there a bonus for capturing alive aliens? Are there any consquences to getting a high or low score end result for a mission?
Urutorahappī!!

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them

 
Re: HLPX-COM: You're All Dying For Your Planet, Right Here!
Yeah, I think there's a score bonus for live aliens.  You also get to interrogate them using methods most likely banned by the Geneva Convention, but since they're aliens intent on conquering Earth nobody gives a damn.
17:37:02   Quanto: I want to have sexual intercourse with every space elf in existence
17:37:11   SpardaSon21: even the males?
17:37:22   Quanto: its not gay if its an elf

[21:51] <@Droid803> I now realize
[21:51] <@Droid803> this will be SLIIIIIGHTLY awkward
[21:51] <@Droid803> as this rich psychic girl will now be tsundere for a loli.
[21:51] <@Droid803> OH WELLL.

See what you're missing in #WoD and #Fsquest?

[07:57:32] <Caiaphas> inspired by HerraTohtori i built a supermaneuverable plane in ksp
[07:57:43] <Caiaphas> i just killed my pilots with a high-g maneuver
[07:58:19] <Caiaphas> apparently people can't take 20 gees for 5 continuous seconds
[08:00:11] <Caiaphas> the plane however performed admirably, and only crashed because it no longer had any guidance systems