[SypheDMar]

I originally wanted to post a link on WHIYL for Yashar Ali's blog The Current Conscience, but I don't think it'll do this article that Yashar published on The Huffington Post justice. An excerpt is provided (It might still be long but only because I think it's important.):

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html

You're so sensitive. You're so emotional. You're defensive. You're overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You're crazy! I was just joking, don't you have a sense of humor? You're so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?

If you're a woman, it probably does.

Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?

When someone says these things to you, it's not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling -- that's inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, "Calm down, you're overreacting," after you just addressed someone else's bad behavior, is emotional manipulation, pure and simple.

And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It's patently false and unfair.

... Gaslighting is a term often used by mental health professionals (I am not one) to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they're crazy.

... But gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, "You're so sensitive," to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, the speaker is making a judgment about how someone else should feel.

While dealing with gaslighting isn't a universal truth for women, we all certainly know plenty of women who encounter it at work, home, or in personal relationships.

And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect women who are not quite sure of themselves. Even vocal, confident, assertive women are vulnerable to gaslighting.

Why?

Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men.

It's a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don't refuse our burdens as easily. It's the ultimate cowardice.

Whether gaslighting is conscious or not, it produces the same result: It renders some women emotionally mute.

These women aren't able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. They can't tell their boss that his behavior is disrespectful and prevents them from doing their best work. They can't tell their parents that, when they are being critical, they are doing more harm than good...

[Lorric]

I heard that "Gaslighting" is isolating someone from everyone else, basically by convincing people that that someone is scum or some other reason people would want to ostracise someone.

As for the post, my advice is look straight at the eyes and ask yourself what you see. And also how would you feel if the situation was reversed?

[Nuke]

i like to think i treat women fairly. i mean i always pay them after sex.

[Lorric]

i like to think i treat women fairly. i mean i always pay them after sex.

Does this qualify as something out of the article I wonder, trying to take away from the seriousness of it and make it into a joke?

[SypheDMar]

I think so.

[Nuke]

i take it you guys just beat them up and shoot em full of heroin so it looks like they oded. you people make me sick.

[Luis Dias]

Yashar is such a sensitive REDACTED.

a word from your "friendly" and "ethical" moderator:
dont be an anything-ist

[BritishShivans]

I do believe that word is taboo here, Luis.

[Luis Dias]

Stop being so hysterical, BS.

[Nuke]

yea lets not be anything-ist (there are so many ****ing isms these days its hard to keep track of them all).

[BritishShivans]

Stop being so hysterical, BS.

Just pointing that out for you.

[QuantumDelta]

The problem is many people identify too many of the 'ists/isms' as positive things.
When realistically if you're "fighting for a cause" nine times outta ten you're gonna be stomping on someone. Never mind the people who are in the generally negatively viewed ists/isms (who are worse)
Seen this article before, while it does raise one or two interesting points, and I'm sure there are people who take this behaviour to an extreme where it's worth dealing with, realistically, it's another one of those things that happens _TO EVERYONE_ so **** you femnazis. You're small minded. All of you.

[Luis Dias]

I was just joking, don't you have a sense of humor?

[BritishShivans]

If I don't have a sense of humor, yours is a brick wall covered in graffiti.

The Eff-ayy-Gee word is a slur, no thanks to assholes. I liked the older definition it had, with it being a word for a "unpleasant old woman".

But yes, I would appreciate it if you didn't use the word in that context. It isn't funny. It's actually quite horrible, and until assholes stop using it to bash other human beings, I'm afraid it's going to stay unfunny.

Also, as for QuantumDelta: *clapclap* 

[NGTM-1R]

I was just joking, don't you have a sense of humor?

Certainly. The question you should be asking is "was it funny".

[Luis Dias]

Jesus Christ, I was just role playing the very same people he was criticizing. That "I was just joking" one was even  a direct quote.

[The E]

Jesus Christ, I was just role playing the very same people he was criticizing. That "I was just joking" one was even  a direct quote.

Poe's Law. Never underestimate Poe's Law.

[Flipside]

This is a trick used quite heavily by employers as well, attempting to turn a genuine grievance into 'Anger management' issues for the person making the complaint, regardless of gender.

[BritishShivans]

Crisis averted, I guess. I thought this was going to turn into a ****storm for a while. And not really on the Poe's Law part - if you fail to provide a subtext to what you're saying/parodying, then of course people won't know if you actually a crazed fanatic or a person mocking the aforementioned crazed fanatics.

This is why subtext is important, guys. Really, please don't forget about it.

[Wobble73]

If I don't have a sense of humor, yours is a brick wall covered in graffiti.

The Eff-ayy-Gee word is a slur, no thanks to assholes. I liked the older definition it had, with it being a word for a "unpleasant old woman".But yes, I would appreciate it if you didn't use the word in that context. It isn't funny. It's actually quite horrible, and until assholes stop using it to bash other human beings, I'm afraid it's going to stay unfunny.

Also, as for QuantumDelta: *clapclap* 

Don't you mean HAG?????