What, don't you know about the three sea shells? 
Demolition Man. 
That's a great 90's movie. And that was a great joke.
Because I'm curious, how does one wipe properly
Well, i always made sure i was clean. But, it got me to thinking other people who didn't make sure they had clean ass cracks. That other people wiping was just something you do without thinking about why. You see, most stupid people don't like to evolve the thought at least to question why. You always know better when you know specifically why. Most people are quite comfortable just doing stuff, but not caring to know why. I do most of my learning through constantly asking "why". I also run into a lot of people who never question why. And when they just do what they are told to do lazily (i'm shown many people at work how to actually clean doors at work, and they've showed me how to do it horribly). And when these people who don't care to ask why, and they suck at doing stuff. It boils down to real fast; if it's no body odor, or a fart, and you smell ****...then it's probably because you're smelling that person's ****. Maybe they crapped themselves? Well, that's easy to disprove just simply with people who don't take very good care of themselves. Most people who **** themselves are like "oh ****, i just shat myself". But, for the people who don't mind not brushing everyday, not using deodorant, or not taking a shower, and you smell **** coming off of them. And this person is not panicked that they just shat themselves. I know they took a **** at sometime in the day semi recently, and i still smell ****.
Now i'm used to running into people who were working on septics, toilets, sewage lines. You know when you haven't ran into one of those people. Usually because you ask why, and perhaps, they look like they were knee deep in a septic tank.
Huh? And how do you know whether or not they know how to wipe their ass properly in the first place? 
Most of my research ended up getting down to this very fast. It's funny, but it gets to the point.
The good thing is that i've always done the correct method. But, OMG part 2 (wtf?!?!?!?, this is what i mean by lazy disgusting bastards).