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Author Topic: Duck joke  (Read 8146 times)

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Offline aldo_14

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Duck joke
on: July 27, 2002, 02:09:53 pm
A duck walks into a bar, says 'Give us a fish'
The Barman replies "No, this is a pub.  We don't sell fish"
Few hours later, the duck returns. "'Give us a fish'
The Barman replies "No.  This is a pub. We sell lager, we sell peanuts, and crisps.  We don't have any fish"
Few hours later, the duck returns..."'Give us a fish'
The Barman, now somewhat annoyed, replies "NO!  I told you, we don't have any bloody fish!  And if you ask me again, i'll nail your beak to the bar!"

Few weeks later, the duck returns to the bar, and asks "Got any nails?".  the barman replies "no".  the duck says......."then give us a fish!"
 

Offline Pera

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Duck joke
Reply #1 on: July 27, 2002, 02:13:48 pm
Old joke! :p
One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

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Offline Levyathan

  • That that guy.
  • 27
Duck joke
Reply #2 on: July 27, 2002, 02:18:24 pm
Why did the duck cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off!

HAHAHAHAHA

ha

ha

*dies*
 

Offline Hippo

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Duck joke
Reply #3 on: July 27, 2002, 02:39:26 pm
Is it legal for a man to marry his widdows sister?
VBB Survivor -- 387 Posts -- July 3 2001 - April 12 2002
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Offline an0n

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Duck joke
Reply #4 on: July 27, 2002, 02:41:35 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Hippo
Is it legal for a man to marry his widdows sister?

No. Necrophelia is somewhat frowned upon.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2002, 02:44:03 pm by 397 »
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
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Offline Levyathan

  • That that guy.
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Duck joke
Reply #5 on: July 27, 2002, 02:41:39 pm
Maybe, if she's dead too they can marry in heaven, or someplace else. Check the Bible or something.

EDIT: Someone always manage to post before me.
 

Offline Pera

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Duck joke
Reply #6 on: July 27, 2002, 02:45:42 pm
A rabbit walks into a store and asks "Do you have any bubble gum?"
"No", the shopkeeper says
The rabbit shakes his head and says "Oh well, that's ok. I've got a motorcycle"
One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

The Apocalypse Project
 

Offline aldo_14

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Duck joke
Reply #7 on: July 27, 2002, 02:52:22 pm
An attractive woman walks up to the bar in a quiet pub, and gestures to the barman to come over.  When he arrives, she seductively signals him closer, and then proceeds to gently caress his full, bushy beard. 'Are you the manager?' she asks, gently stroking his face with both hands.  The intrigued barman says no, and she says: "can you get him for me?  I need to speak to him", still running her hands up beyond his beard and into his har.

"I'm afraid I can't", whispers the aroused barman.  "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is.  I need you to give him this message", she contnues huskily.  "Tell him there are no towels or toilet paper in the ladies' room"
 

Offline Sandwich

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Duck joke
Reply #8 on: July 27, 2002, 02:54:04 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Hippo
Is it legal for a man to marry his widdows sister?


If she is his widow, then he's dead. :D

Quote
Originally posted by Pera
A rabbit walks into a store and asks "Do you have any bubble gum?"
"No", the shopkeeper says
The rabbit shakes his head and says "Oh well, that's ok. I've got a motorcycle"


:blah:
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"...The quintessential quality of our age is that of dreams coming true. Just think of it. For centuries we have dreamt of flying; recently we made that come true: we have always hankered for speed; now we have speeds greater than we can stand: we wanted to speak to far parts of the Earth; we can: we wanted to explore the sea bottom; we have: and so  on, and so on: and, too, we wanted the power to smash our enemies utterly; we have it. If we had truly wanted peace, we should have had that as well. But true peace has never been one of the genuine dreams - we have got little further than preaching against war in order to appease our consciences. The truly wishful dreams, the many-minded dreams are now irresistible - they become facts." - 'The Outward Urge' by John Wyndham

"The very essence of tolerance rests on the fact that we have to be intolerant of intolerance. Stretching right back to Kant, through the Frankfurt School and up to today, liberalism means that we can do anything we like as long as we don't hurt others. This means that if we are tolerant of others' intolerance - especially when that intolerance is a call for genocide - then all we are doing is allowing that intolerance to flourish, and allowing the violence that will spring from that intolerance to continue unabated." - Bren Carlill
 

Offline Levyathan

  • That that guy.
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Duck joke
Reply #9 on: July 27, 2002, 02:54:48 pm
I knew that one in a different way.

The son asks to his father:
- Dad, can I have an army jeep?
The father replies:
- Why would you want an army jeep if you've already got a tomato?

Weird joke.
 

Offline Tiara

  • Mrs. T, foo'!
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Duck joke
Reply #10 on: July 27, 2002, 02:59:33 pm
Quote
Originally posted by sandwich

:blah:


My thoughts exactly...

:blah:
I AM GOD! AND I SHALL SMITE THEE!



...because I can :drevil:
 

Offline Pera

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Duck joke
Reply #11 on: July 27, 2002, 03:05:51 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Levyathan
Weird joke.


No kidding :D

But here's one joke that's actually quite clever, and so true:

"Two drummers walked past a bar"
One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

The Apocalypse Project
 

Offline Knight Templar

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  • I'm a magic man, I've got magic hands.
Duck joke
Reply #12 on: July 27, 2002, 03:06:57 pm
This dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender "hey barkeep, it's my birthday, can i have a free drink?" Bartend replies "sure, toilets down the hall, second left."
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

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Offline an0n

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Duck joke
Reply #13 on: July 27, 2002, 03:10:12 pm
Prepare to be horrified/amused/sickened/strangely aroussed:

Two friends leave a bar after a long night of drinking an partying. They part ways after a few hundred meters and each continue on their respective ways home. The next day the two men meet in the bar for lunch.
"You look rough" says the first man upon seeing his somewhat ragged friend.
"Yeah, I was up all night having the wildest sex you could possibly imagine."
"How the hell did you manage that?" asked the first man. "I left you at 2am."
"Yeah, well I was on my way to the bus stop when I see the last bus go flying past. And I didn't want to walk all that way home so I took a short-cut across the railway tracks. As I was climbing over the fence I saw this woman lying on the grass bank. Anyway, I took her back to my place and had her in every possible position. Missionary, anal, doggy, hand-jobs, over the couch, against the fridge."
"No oral?"
"Nah. Couldn't find the head."


__________________
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com
  

Offline Mr. Vega

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Duck joke
Reply #14 on: July 27, 2002, 03:13:27 pm
:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assaults of thoughts on the unthinking.
-John Maynard Keynes
 

Offline Pera

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Duck joke
Reply #15 on: July 27, 2002, 03:23:46 pm
*speechless*
One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

The Apocalypse Project
 

Offline vyper

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Duck joke
Reply #16 on: July 27, 2002, 03:49:50 pm
:wtf: Right. I'm off to have a very long bath after being exposed to that joke. :p
"But you live, you learn.  Unless you die.  Then you're ****ed." - aldo14
 

Offline DragonClaw

  • Romeo Kilo India Foxtrot
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Duck joke
Reply #17 on: July 27, 2002, 04:03:32 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Mr. Vega
:wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf::wtf:
 

Offline Knight Templar

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  • I'm a magic man, I've got magic hands.
Duck joke
Reply #18 on: July 27, 2002, 04:11:16 pm
Quote
amused/sickened/strangely aroussed:



:lol: :lol: :lol:

;7 :jaw: :nod: :D ;7
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

Too Long, Didn't Read
 

Offline Knight Templar

  • Stealth
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  • I'm a magic man, I've got magic hands.
Duck joke
Reply #19 on: July 27, 2002, 04:12:26 pm
lol neva done an all smilie post before
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

Too Long, Didn't Read
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