Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 02:42:52 pm

Title: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 02:42:52 pm
Rules:
Write one or two lines only.
Be creative.
Leave the ending open.
Don't post a comment, post a story.



One day Carl was crawling around in the ventilation of HLP station...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 10, 2008, 03:19:10 pm
then he ran into one of nuke's gatling gun traps and promptly got splattered.

the end
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: WeatherOp on May 10, 2008, 03:49:46 pm
....of Carl, but Nuke got arrested.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Topgun on May 10, 2008, 04:06:47 pm
and the poiliceman said that this thread will be locked because it's a stupid forum game.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 10, 2008, 04:19:39 pm
(http://msp145.photobucket.com/albums/r222/Ukeboi88/cuttlefish_agrees.jpg)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Admiral_Stones on May 10, 2008, 04:27:09 pm
Quote from: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 02:42:52 pm
Rules:
Write one or two lines only.
Be creative.
Leave the ending open.
Don't post a comment, post a story.



One day Carl was crawling around in the ventilation of HLP station...


Suddenly, one Panel breaks and he drops into Gooby's office
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 04:28:49 pm
Goober promptly reaches for his flamethrower...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 10, 2008, 04:41:49 pm
...too find that the holy water it contains is ineffective against the shivan monstrosity.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 04:42:26 pm
Cursing whoever did such a thing, he beats Carl over the head with it...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 10, 2008, 04:45:56 pm
...but it only angers the shivan, leaving Goober to only one last resort...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 04:52:13 pm
HE CALLS IN THE FRICKIN' SHARKS WITH FRICKIN' LAZERS ON THEIR FRICKIN' HEADS!!!!!...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 10, 2008, 05:11:03 pm
....or he just throws his lunch at carl and runs away.

*waiting for lockage*
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 10, 2008, 05:54:05 pm
The end.



Forever.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Aardwolf on May 11, 2008, 12:41:08 am
[non-story]
What's wrong with forum games in the off-topic section? It's better than the one where you compete to get the longest string of curse words...
[/non-story]
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BrotherBryon on May 11, 2008, 01:47:20 am
Went out with his brothers and their soon to be married friend tonight. You all fill in the rest, (*note only if it involves our hero getting totally wasted at a bar he hasn't been to in years). Spell checker is great!!!!!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Jeff Vader on May 11, 2008, 01:57:06 am
Quote from: Aardwolf on May 11, 2008, 12:41:08 am
[non-story]
What's wrong with forum games in the off-topic section? It's better than the one where you compete to get the longest string of curse words...
[/non-story]
[Multiple author forum stories always fail]
This makes roughly as much sense as that one "game", where the point was to just always quote the person who posted before you in that thread. But then again, that got locked after the third post or something.
[/Multiple author forum stories always fail]
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Flipside on May 11, 2008, 02:07:52 am
I will treat this the same as the Word Association thread.

Whilst there is interest and participation, I will go against my own urges and leave it open, but if it is quiet for a few months and then gets resurrected, or if it degenerates into (even more) pointlessness, it will get locked.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Admiral_Stones on May 11, 2008, 03:16:24 am
Quote from: haloboy100 on May 10, 2008, 05:11:03 pm
....or he just throws his lunch at Carl and runs away.

*waiting for lockage*

Panicked, Goobey storms out of his office whilst Carl snaps the lunch out of the air.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Davros on May 11, 2008, 03:21:22 am
Once upon a time there were 3 bears
now theres bloody millions
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 11, 2008, 10:49:28 am
Quote from: Admiral_Stones on May 11, 2008, 03:16:24 am
Panicked, Goobey storms out of his office whilst Carl snaps the lunch out of the air.
But Carl isn't appeased, as Gooby had liver for lunch...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Retsof on May 11, 2008, 01:47:43 pm
The liver happens to slow Carl down as he attempts to rid his system of the foul meat.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 11, 2008, 02:13:16 pm
then along came derek smart and bought out volition and made fs3. Starring snail and wobble, which featured . . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 11, 2008, 02:34:37 pm
Micheal Jackson, Darek Smart's dad.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 11, 2008, 02:58:56 pm
Michael hurriedly hides the small children in his closet as reporters come to interview him about his protegé...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: redsniper on May 12, 2008, 04:11:38 pm
"One day, Admiral Bosch woke up on the Iceni..."
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 12, 2008, 04:34:30 pm
Oh sad race oh sad race oh sad race.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: redsniper on May 12, 2008, 04:36:52 pm
^^ I never got that, btw. Is it a reference to something, or just old VBB humor?
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 12, 2008, 05:03:09 pm
I don't know, I just felt it appropriate in the context.

...And then Carl jumps out of the ventilation shaft, closely followed by Gooby...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 12, 2008, 05:25:23 pm
trying to inflict bodily harm on the good Admiral. When who should appear? Why, young Snail in his mighty admin class power armour, all set to defend Bosch when all of a sudden. . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 12, 2008, 05:43:40 pm
a Sathanas jumps in, forcing the Iceni to go into subspace. Everyone is thrown to the floor...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 12, 2008, 06:08:33 pm
...except for James T. Kirk, who quickly takes control of the destabilized command frigate.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 12, 2008, 06:14:13 pm
And...proceeds to...issue...rapid-fire orders...to...his crew.  Only to realize...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 12, 2008, 06:18:07 pm
There's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow.  There's Klingons off the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 12, 2008, 06:36:30 pm
who realised they share a common love of :headz: with the Zods and thus granted them amnesty and merged empires. Meanwhile back on the NTF command frigate....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 12, 2008, 06:38:09 pm
Gooby is bludgeoning Bosch to death with the discarded fried liver, when kara surprises everyone by shooting him in the leg...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 12, 2008, 08:15:04 pm
But the bullet just bounces off, because Bosch is actually a cyborg and...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Triple Ace on May 12, 2008, 08:47:07 pm
...is fueled by refreshing ice cold Bosch Beer.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 12, 2008, 08:49:27 pm
While the Bosch Beer does not give him 400 BABIES!!! it does make him belch rather loudly...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Excalibur on May 12, 2008, 09:05:37 pm
But the room is sealed... :eek:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Triple Ace on May 12, 2008, 09:15:22 pm
...and the combined smell of the Bosch's belches and the rancid liver was powerful enough to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 13, 2008, 12:45:05 am
collapse all nodes out of the system...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 13, 2008, 01:07:23 pm
Stranded in a system with a PMSing Sath, Bosch quickly realizes that the only thing he can do...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Talon 1024 on May 13, 2008, 03:23:41 pm
...Self-destruct sequence activated, set direct course for the Sathanas...

(Disregard this if you want)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 13, 2008, 03:25:10 pm
Bosch and kara jump into an escape pod, and Gooby wonders what they are doing. Little does he know that the escape pod has an UBER JUMP DRIVE!!!!...

(we never disregard anything, we have to go with what you say)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 13, 2008, 03:30:39 pm
The pod entered realspace over a desert planet and entered a descending vector alongside an escape pod holding an astromech droid, and a protocol droid..... then :nervous:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Jeff Vader on May 13, 2008, 03:36:26 pm
"Oh, fiddlesticks", said the protocol droid: "We're in the wrong universe!". And the escape pod said poof and was never seen again.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Retsof on May 13, 2008, 04:03:42 pm
(No Wait! I must rescue that plotline!  :lol: )
But a rift was left in it's wake, leaving the universes merged.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 13, 2008, 04:40:42 pm
The Sath, finding itself over Coruscant, proceeded to nuke the planet. The cataclysm was too much for the thin fabric of the universe, and they were rent apart.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 13, 2008, 04:50:20 pm
*meanwhile, back on board the escape pod, Kara and Bosch are eating rancid liver...*
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 13, 2008, 05:20:30 pm
And taking in the scenic aroma. looking back at the destroyed Iceni, they see a Sath disappear before their eyes, and reappear seconds later. Laying off the Bosch Beer...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Triple Ace on May 13, 2008, 08:28:45 pm
...because Bosch started hearing voices telling him to burn things.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 13, 2008, 09:29:59 pm
...Such as the teletubby cruiser which just warped in from the Kykassistan system...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 01:12:37 pm
. The cruiser charges up its beams, and a loud voice proclaims over the comms "SHOOP DA WHOOP" just before a taco appears in the beam cannon.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 14, 2008, 02:44:09 pm
...Jamming up the matrix, resulting in...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 04:47:59 pm
The Ultimate Battle Of Ultimate Destiny!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 14, 2008, 05:26:55 pm
Down from the heavens... descended Chuck Norris, who delivered a kick, which could shatter bones, into the crotch of...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 06:18:22 pm
Goober5000...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 06:19:21 pm
He fell on the ground, writhing in pain, as kara changed back into Terran Frakking Command...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 14, 2008, 07:25:34 pm
But Chuck saw through this clever disguise, and he crushed Kara's head in between his thighs...

(I pity the guy that has to type the rest :drevil:)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 08:04:23 pm
Then Admiral Petrarch and Admiral Ahmose and...Screw that... Wings Alpha through Omega jumped in...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Talon 1024 on May 14, 2008, 08:13:31 pm
And unleashed Total Dumbfire Ownage™...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 08:22:15 pm
It was the most flak-filled battle you ever saw, with Shivans looking on in total awe. The fight raged on for a century...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on May 14, 2008, 09:00:45 pm
...until the Sathanas' (don't ***** at me about how it is spelled :P ) super nova'd the sun.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 09:05:14 pm
And everyone died... Except fo' me, YOU KNOW WHY? Cause I had my tray table up...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 14, 2008, 09:41:50 pm
...and then nuclear pressed the rewind button and took us back to..
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 14, 2008, 09:43:28 pm
Quote from: colecampbell666 on May 14, 2008, 08:22:15 pm
...the most flak-filled battle you ever saw, with Shivans looking on in total awe. The fight raged on for a century...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 15, 2008, 01:02:35 pm
Until it was finished by Mr. T...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on May 15, 2008, 05:57:27 pm
Who died of aids...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 15, 2008, 06:17:41 pm
...from having sex with a...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 15, 2008, 08:10:43 pm
Sex Panther. Guaranteed to get the girl 60% of the time, every time.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 15, 2008, 10:11:14 pm
Unfortunately, the girl was actually a guy...


 :nervous:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 16, 2008, 03:47:30 am
Quote from: Tyrian on May 15, 2008, 10:11:14 pm
Unfortunately, the girl was actually a guy Hillary...


 :nervous:  :eek2:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 16, 2008, 05:49:50 am
Who promptly proceeded to ***** about losing the campaign...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 16, 2008, 05:59:45 am
Quote from: colecampbell666 on May 16, 2008, 05:49:50 am
Who promptly proceeded to ***** about losing the campaign Great PMS of '08...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 16, 2008, 06:15:36 am
Anyway, she went up to Bosch and said something about how there should be more diversity on the Iceni...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on May 16, 2008, 06:51:30 am
...And Bosch got mad at her and shot her....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 16, 2008, 11:54:30 am
Full of vitamins and put her to work in the acid mines of gamma draconis, the profits of which were principally used to finance the. . . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 16, 2008, 03:14:27 pm
Construction of CBS (Care bear stare) Mjolnir beams used to defend against...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on May 16, 2008, 04:53:11 pm
Barney...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 16, 2008, 07:29:17 pm
And the Teletubbies...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 16, 2008, 07:39:17 pm
From the Kykassistan system, under the rule of I Major Suckass the first, the unholy spawn of...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Triple Ace on May 16, 2008, 08:17:46 pm
Rosie O'Donnell and a grizzly bear.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 16, 2008, 08:30:06 pm
Meanwhile, back at the batcave...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 17, 2008, 02:10:12 am
Batman and robin were gettin "intimate" when the batphone went off. . . . Meanwhile Karajorma was walking his velociraptor to get his saturday papers
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 17, 2008, 05:36:33 am
He passed the bakery, and promptly asked his Velociraptor, Benny Lava, if he needed a bun to bite.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: vyper on May 18, 2008, 02:32:20 pm
At the same time, several million miles away, the Aken Bosche was about to become the victim of yet another TaS thread...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuclear1 on May 18, 2008, 03:04:06 pm
...so he activated ETAKe, in order to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 18, 2008, 03:26:02 pm
... to cook some popcorn, because all ETAKe currently does is get really warm. So with is trusty bowl of popcorn he...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 18, 2008, 04:21:43 pm
Poisoned himself.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 18, 2008, 06:57:11 pm
The end . .  . .  . .  . . . . . ?
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 18, 2008, 09:06:33 pm
But Command wanted a sequel and...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 18, 2008, 09:23:34 pm
promptly realized they lacked the funds to provide a satisfactory sequel...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on May 18, 2008, 11:04:55 pm
/me de-cloaks.

...so they robbed Derek Smart's bank account and got a trillion dollars for free.

/me cloaks.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Excalibur on May 19, 2008, 12:49:23 am
they then decided to OPEN the sequel...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on May 19, 2008, 12:52:19 am
...but it was sealed with Derek Smart's duct tape. :nervous:

Spoiler:
ONE THOUSAND VIEWS! WHEE!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 19, 2008, 12:05:39 pm
Until 32484728 years later it was discovered by the Kiithid in the wastes of Kharak...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on May 20, 2008, 04:14:48 am
...who promptly ate it. :wtf:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Herra Tohtori on May 20, 2008, 07:23:43 am
The sequel laid uncomfortably in Kiithid's digestive tract. Of course, it was not uncomfortable for the sequel itself but rather to Kiithid; after all, most sequels leave a bad taste in your mouth and can cause a severe constipation of cranial nerves. However, in this case the constipation was obviously somewhere else, as sequels - however good - are not meant to be quite that literally consumed. It was a stupid move on Kiithid's part to ever eat a sequel in the first place, but being stuck with consequences of rash decisions was relatively familiar to Kiithid.

Thus, Kiithid tried to bravely digest the sequel for four days and nights until finally succumbing to the embrace of death as the sequel burst Kiithid's entrails and caused severe internal bleeding and sepsis to boot. It was neither fast or painless, not to speak of clean. Descriptions of Kiithid's dying throes were to be the ultimate testimony for the sequels' corrupting power; even after close to 32.5 million years of hibernation, it managed to kill a full grown Member of the Species in a record time, much to the chagrin of the few survivors of his Species, assuming they were able to have more complex feelings than fear of violence, hunger, annoyance at having to clean the mess, and other basic instincts... and to the great joy of the Members of Other Species, who despite their diminutive size compared to the Members of the Species were in general a lot more pleasant companions for the dinner table... seeing how the likelyhood of being the dinner was significantly lower with them than it was with Members of the Species.

Thus the Members of the Other Species, upon finding Kiithid's carcass and determining the cause of death, brought home Kiithid's head on a ten foot barge pole (where they needed a barge pole in the wastes of Kharak is anyone's guess) and the Sequel, which they called something else in their own language but with a Capital Letter, which was the important part, for they placed the Sequel onto the temple of their Death God more commonly known as Carl, meaning it as a relic of great death-inducing powers. However, Carl was more used to people sacrificing their lunches for him - 32.5 million years can build quite a routine for anyone - and subsequently snatched the Sequel without looking at it, and promptly ate it in front of horrified Members of the Other Species...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 20, 2008, 02:48:23 pm
..., but Carl was later forced to take 4 antacids to his usual 3. Regardless, he was fine. With the sequel finally being digested completely, the nightmere was over.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 20, 2008, 03:08:38 pm
...Of course, if the nightmere was over, the nightmare had just begun...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 20, 2008, 03:38:04 pm
Because derek smart went to sleep after eating 42 tons of penis sausage as opposed to his usual 7...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 21, 2008, 08:15:09 am
We interrupt this story to bring you an urgent newsflash from hard-light station deck nine, cargo hold J with our on the spot reporter. . . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 21, 2008, 08:23:34 am
Where several boxes labeled headz have just been found...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Unknown Target on May 21, 2008, 08:47:54 am
Administrators are urging any Hard Light residents near or on Deck Nine to stay indoors, as...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 21, 2008, 09:21:45 am
thousands of Vasudans are trampling each other for teh headz...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 21, 2008, 11:55:13 am
...and Vasudan Admiral has deployed his ships in an attempt to capture the installation...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 21, 2008, 12:03:08 pm
News just in.. .. .. .. Carl has been sighted, if anyone sees carl contact Snail as he has a stockpile of deep dried bunny lunches for this sort of emergency. An anti - Zod nervegas will be released by the moderators sho-:headz: <the news room has fallen the Zod hordes. Save yourself>
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Gortef on May 21, 2008, 12:57:04 pm
... and after the news our program continue with...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 21, 2008, 03:04:21 pm
...The 24 hour George W. Bush Channel, showing non-stop...

EDIT:  Forgot the hour...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 21, 2008, 05:10:31 pm
Bombardment of Vasuda prime...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 21, 2008, 05:14:30 pm
...with halibut and cod, which causes the...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 21, 2008, 05:40:29 pm
space-time continuum to be torn in half, resulting in...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 21, 2008, 06:09:27 pm
...me eating fried chicken...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 21, 2008, 06:34:32 pm
As he was eating, he found a mini D3r3k Sm4rt at the bottom of his KFC bucket...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Excalibur on May 21, 2008, 07:15:39 pm
Which was holding a 50m long pice of papaer that contained Tyrian's signature... ;)
And promptly began to destroy everything it saw...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 21, 2008, 07:44:50 pm
Having hijacked Scud's computer, he promptly began work on FreeSpace 3...

 :eek2:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Aardwolf on May 21, 2008, 08:03:33 pm
Which caused the universe to end. A second time.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 21, 2008, 08:05:22 pm
Meanwhile, in the 3rd parallel universe..
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 21, 2008, 08:18:19 pm
...My massive signature saved everyone from being reduced to sub-atomic particles so that...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 22, 2008, 04:43:38 am
...nuke could blow them all up...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Gortef on May 22, 2008, 07:59:11 am
... into the previously mentioned subatomic particles. That being allmost done to the rescue came none other than...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on May 22, 2008, 09:04:54 am
...Dr. Rabbit...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 22, 2008, 05:48:18 pm
...who failed miserably and ended up in nuke's stew...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 22, 2008, 09:44:10 pm
...and...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 22, 2008, 09:55:35 pm
was disintegrated because Nuke's stew was actually Nuke's H2SO4.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Androgeos Exeunt on May 23, 2008, 08:48:41 am
In the meantime, Bosch decides to switch beer brands for a bit, and shelves his armoury of Bosch Beer for...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 23, 2008, 10:28:51 am
...Minute Maid Orange Juice (with hops)...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 23, 2008, 11:47:16 am
Also known as watery-piss-acidy... piss...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 23, 2008, 12:53:52 pm
....suddenly, Admiral Petrarch jumps into the room and demands that he has his minute made orange juice back...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 23, 2008, 12:58:00 pm
When a Cain jumps in, forcing the Aquitane to retreat...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 23, 2008, 03:25:10 pm
...before Petrarch realizes that he's commanding something several times more powerful then a Cain...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 23, 2008, 04:33:51 pm
..but alpha 1 already tosted it with his maxims, and a piece of shrapnel blew threw the window of petratrch's ready room, lodging itself in his...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 23, 2008, 04:37:06 pm
...first mate's groin...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 23, 2008, 04:43:21 pm
...which immediately started to bleed profusely...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 23, 2008, 04:55:53 pm
"Dang", said the other occupant of the room, a hooker named Candy. "I still want my money" said Candy, as she...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 23, 2008, 05:09:46 pm
...began to ponder how retarded her name is...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 23, 2008, 05:11:53 pm
Realizing that her name was OK, being a hooker, she held the first mate at gunpoint and demanded her money...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Retsof on May 23, 2008, 08:33:42 pm
Forgeting that she was in a military ready room complete with security forces.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 24, 2008, 12:21:17 am
...meanwhile petrarch was having a debate with his first lieutenant on how many nurses hawkeye pierce boinked during the tv series m*a*s*h, failing to notice the rapidly decompressing compartment in which they all inhabit...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 24, 2008, 04:14:03 am
Alpha 1, brave soul that he is, calls in a support ship and docks with it. he throws all his energy into his afterburners and flys toward the window. The support ship, being detached and thrown at high speeds towards the window, crashes into it plugging the hole...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 24, 2008, 04:23:01 am
...Snipes, having been previously demoted to fly support ships, waves at Petrarch...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 24, 2008, 05:03:14 am
...and petrach, completely unaware of his former impending doom, demotes snipes to cook, 2nd class...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 24, 2008, 07:21:48 am
And Candy the hooker becomes covert operative in Bosch's inner circle.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 24, 2008, 09:00:34 am
Reporting that the GTVA should be **** easy to take down, if Petrarch is any example...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 25, 2008, 02:41:27 am
meanwhile on an sj sathanas in the middle of an undisclosed location in a random nebula, mr t and carl are playing a hand of poker...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 25, 2008, 08:47:40 am
It had to happen sometime...

When Mr. T. get's five aces...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 25, 2008, 09:10:42 am
Carl produces 6 Aces, all of them Spades!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 25, 2008, 11:41:54 am
Which starts a bar fight.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 25, 2008, 02:33:13 pm
since most of the people at the bar are shivans, the barfight includes lots and lots of beam fire, which damages the ship's...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 25, 2008, 02:36:02 pm
...Coffee maker...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 25, 2008, 03:15:45 pm
Subsequently, the ship implodes.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 25, 2008, 06:06:13 pm
Due to the massive implosion, a miniature black hole is formed, causing the...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 25, 2008, 06:14:27 pm
Boshbeer to spoil........
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 25, 2008, 06:15:36 pm
And Admiral Petrarch to again become emperor of the beverage empire.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 25, 2008, 06:23:18 pm
Meanwhile, back in Capella...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 25, 2008, 06:24:22 pm
The shivans were partying over their 100,000,000th blown up star...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 25, 2008, 07:41:45 pm
When 100000001 goes supernova and kills them all.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 25, 2008, 07:47:01 pm
Leaving Carl all alone to fend for himself in the ducts of the HLP station...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 25, 2008, 08:07:16 pm
...Where he decides he must feed on some napalm.  However...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 25, 2008, 08:29:41 pm
...none is available, as the flamethrowers are filled with Holy Water. Upon this discovery, Carl...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 25, 2008, 08:43:39 pm
... Breaks into the local beverage store, but finds only bottles of Minute Maid Orange Juice! In desperation, Carl ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 25, 2008, 08:44:05 pm
proceeds to hangar 7A, only to find dead terran bodies and boxes labeled  :headz:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 25, 2008, 09:22:23 pm
Using the headz as bait, he lays a cunning trap to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 25, 2008, 09:50:43 pm
 ... Draw random people so that he may afix himselves to a certain part of their anatomy and derive extreme pleasure at their expense doing ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: redsniper on May 26, 2008, 12:15:20 am
... The Mash!
He did the Monster Mash!
It was a graveyard smash.
He did the mash.
It caught on in a flash.
He did the mash.
He did the mo-o-o-onster mash.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 26, 2008, 05:53:28 am
Afterwards, he had realized he ate too many space mushrooms, regardless of the fact that...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 08:20:50 am
There is no soil in space...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Admiral_Stones on May 26, 2008, 11:36:00 am
but he buyed these high quality shrooms from our resident, ever-high Mobius™, realizing he spent all his money, thus...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 11:52:38 am
... he entreated the Gaming Gods to give unto him a bounty of wealth, because after all he is a ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 12:03:40 pm
FRICKIN' SHARK WITH A FRICKIN' LAZER ON HIS FRICKIN' HEAD!!!!!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 12:08:48 pm
And Carl went, "I"M CHARGIN MAH LAZER!"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 12:24:01 pm
But his mouth became filled with a taco.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 12:28:33 pm
And lo! Carl did partake of this Taco, and he did speaketh, "It needs some tobasco and beer." And lo! did Aken Bosch appear with his beer in hand, and did Petrach appear with a tobasco bottle in hand!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Polpolion on May 26, 2008, 12:29:41 pm
And everything promptly exploded.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 12:53:50 pm
...Caused by the paradox of Bosch appearing with beer, at a time when Minute Maid Orange Juice was the only beverage in the universe...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 26, 2008, 01:11:56 pm
Causing the Mobius Paradox, which means everything becomes rainbow color and Mobius becomes king of an alternate dimension, which collides with the real universe.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 02:05:03 pm
Combining the universes gives everyone Mobian Measles, and WeeGee diagnoses them as "sure to die"...

Geez. This is what? The third time that the universe has been destroyed/put back together?
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 26, 2008, 02:08:34 pm
Quote from: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 02:05:03 pm
Geez. This is what? The third time that the universe has been destroyed/put back together?
Then Bosch said "Who said that?"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 26, 2008, 02:16:42 pm
Then a policeman came out with a blatantly obvious fake beard, Jeremy beadle said "it was me, sorry to trick everyone, let's shake hands and make up"  :p ;7
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 26, 2008, 03:43:04 pm
meanwhile in another compartment chuck norris and mr t were smoking space crack, later that evening one of the m gave the other space aids, unsure of who had it first, they promptly decide to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 26, 2008, 03:44:17 pm
Commit ritual suicide
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 03:45:58 pm
With a sacred knife of...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 26, 2008, 03:47:44 pm
pirate ridiculously dull blade (thats his name dude), resulting in a really painful death, unfortunately their blood contaminates hlp's holy water supply...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 03:50:10 pm
Which never really mattered in the first place...BECAUSE JESUS ISN'T REAL!!!!!!!...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 26, 2008, 03:54:50 pm
It wasn't Jesus that mattered, it was that old Pope guy.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 26, 2008, 03:56:37 pm
then jesus teleports in and says "what the ****! shut the **** up noob! for that no more forgiveness for anyone! goodbye, and thanks for all the fish!", then propmptly teleports out....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 26, 2008, 04:01:47 pm
Leaving Chuck Norris, Mr. T and the papacy quite stunned.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 26, 2008, 04:09:23 pm
dispite all 3 being dead
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 04:27:16 pm
then the aforementioned dead teleport in and say "what the ****! shut the **** up noob! for that no more forgiveness for anyone! goodbye, and thanks for all the fish!", then propmptly teleport out....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 26, 2008, 06:59:14 pm
Somewhere .  .  . In the depths of shivan territory, a lone Mara flys silently among  Shivan ships of a scale beyond comprehension. Snipes is at the controls and he suddenly looks up and thinks.
"deja vu?"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 26, 2008, 07:00:43 pm
Remembering his lines he screams "...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 26, 2008, 07:48:37 pm
waking him from his dream...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 08:14:03 pm
in cold sweat screaming, "DIVE DIVE DIVE!! HIT YOUR BURNERS PILOT!!" Then someone in the background laughs, and he shouts, "Stop laughing there, pilot!"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Talon 1024 on May 26, 2008, 08:19:43 pm
Once he was up, he was surprised that he wasn't on the GTD Aquitaine, but on a GVC Aten...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 08:20:17 pm
Which was on a collision course with a space hunk!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 26, 2008, 09:57:01 pm
Colonol Dekker was happily flying through space when an Aten collided with him. "hey watch where you're going a female Zod yelled, leaning out of her drivers window." after a seconds glance, "wow! You're quite a space hunk" . . . .70's cheesy pRon music started piping in from somewhere and . . . . .Dekker woke up covered in a cold sweat and leant over to his beside table for a smoke. . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 26, 2008, 10:01:48 pm
When he promptly heard the theme "BOW CHICKA BOW-WOW" out of nowhere. Dekker looked around frantically, to find it came from...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 26, 2008, 10:11:41 pm
A small, fluffy red ball.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 27, 2008, 01:02:46 am
which was one of carl's testicles...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 27, 2008, 01:12:57 am
With monkeys scrawled over it by a six year old.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 27, 2008, 02:30:25 am
Carl, Promptly realizing the six year old was the bastard child of dekker and a very busty vasudan, proceeded to tear the childs limbs off in front of dekker...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 27, 2008, 02:33:05 am
And dekker said, "This was a triumph! I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS. Its hard to overstate my satisfaction."
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 27, 2008, 08:15:18 am
:wakka: 
The busty zod promptly replied with "it's hard to overstate my satisfaction" before giving carl an impromptue lap(thorax?)dance.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 27, 2008, 08:18:14 am
And Carl said, "We do what we must because we can. For the good of us all ... except the ones who are dead."
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 27, 2008, 01:02:06 pm
Cause there's no sense crying over every bastard child Mistake (the same thing, really) and we'll keep on trying 'till we run out of brown-bagged lunches...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 27, 2008, 02:46:53 pm
Then the GTVA Steamroller (aka Colossus Mark II) comes and rolls over Carl.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 27, 2008, 04:16:48 pm
But is killed by a Sathanas Mk. I

Damn you Snail, you ruined our song.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 27, 2008, 06:08:05 pm
Carl then comes back to life and breaks the fourth wall by firing the mega salt-based beam of 0wn@ge at snail...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 27, 2008, 06:38:38 pm
Thus releasing the monster FRED...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 27, 2008, 07:16:32 pm
Which sets a SEXP to make sol go supernova if any busty zods are detected in the system...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 27, 2008, 07:29:38 pm
At that moment, Dekker and his (woman?) jump through the node...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 27, 2008, 11:18:31 pm
Causing sol to collapse in on itself, dragging earth inwards...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 27, 2008, 11:25:41 pm
...Into a pit of deep fat fried soft serve ice cream.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 27, 2008, 11:37:18 pm
That originated from...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 28, 2008, 01:52:34 am
The Stanley cup final;............
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Gortef on May 28, 2008, 02:55:43 am
... finals box of ice cream from bahama, which was actually quite...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Scuddie on May 28, 2008, 03:07:08 am
... unreasonably priced for an ice cream that didn't pass the radioactive rat feces inspection.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 28, 2008, 08:42:30 am
And then John Freeman appeared and said, "It is a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother defeat the enemies!"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 01:08:05 pm
And then Mr. T. said "Who tha hell is John Freeman? Quit'ch'yo jibba jabba"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 28, 2008, 01:21:45 pm
John Freeman saw Mr T. and said, "Oh noes!! It are enemies!" And shot Mr T with his Combine Pulse rifle, and ....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 01:32:04 pm
His brother got stepped on...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 28, 2008, 06:53:53 pm
by a giant sentient chicken with a TV for a head...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 07:17:03 pm
Which played episodes of Robot Chicken 24/7...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 28, 2008, 07:29:16 pm
..on the discovery channel...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 07:49:03 pm
Of DOOM!...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 28, 2008, 08:03:34 pm
....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 08:17:47 pm
...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 28, 2008, 08:19:24 pm
Dead zombie goasts etc.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 28, 2008, 08:32:20 pm
Appear on the TV...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 28, 2008, 10:26:36 pm
 .... resulting in the fizzling of this story.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 29, 2008, 12:04:52 am
because bosches mother forgot to turn off the frying pan and burnt the...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 12:06:05 am
pancakes. So she decided to ...

(OOC: seriously. This thing is fizzling out.)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 29, 2008, 12:12:42 am
Use temporal reversal protocol 34CK to go back to the point when .  .  .  .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 12:14:31 am
Quote from: colecampbell666 on May 10, 2008, 02:42:52 pm
One day Carl was crawling around in the ventilation of HLP station...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 29, 2008, 04:51:25 am
Because he was heading towards bosches moms quarters, for the reasons that she was a MILF and cooked very good pancakes...  :wtf:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 05:12:16 am
As he leapt at her, she used the temporal reversal protocol 34CK to go back to the point when ....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 29, 2008, 09:17:23 am
...the universe was forged by the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 10:57:43 am
And he was getting his WOOOOOOOO on.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 29, 2008, 01:51:21 pm
He created Chuck Norris, who had sex with himself, thus creating God. The paradox of creating a non-existent being created an error in the base-code of the universe, thus creating man, when we...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 01:52:53 pm
in a total accident created the being known as ... *shudder* De ... Derek ... Sm... Sma.... *aarghhhh*
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 29, 2008, 02:01:21 pm
Derek Smart

...Who proceeded to dedicate his life to the destruction of carbonated beverages throughout the universe....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 02:02:56 pm
Replacing them instead with his own brand of beverages, called ....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 29, 2008, 02:51:19 pm
...Smartweiser, Darek Smart's horrid attempt at making beer after he bought buidweiser. Carl, Chuck Norris's daughter, drank some of it, resulting in...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BengalTiger on May 29, 2008, 03:00:32 pm
Fury....

Blind fury...

and a Fury missile, which ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 29, 2008, 03:07:27 pm
made a sound reminiscent of a fart as it impacted a sathanas...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 29, 2008, 05:12:01 pm
...tearing a hole straight through it, due too...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 29, 2008, 05:22:32 pm
Murphy's Law...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Retsof on May 29, 2008, 06:16:21 pm
and happened to hit the reactor on the way through...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 29, 2008, 06:18:52 pm
Causing it to... Not blow up. It isn't a Lucy, which would have...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Retsof on May 29, 2008, 06:23:45 pm
So instead the Sathanas simply shut down, so the GTVA...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 29, 2008, 06:28:00 pm
Decided to board it, forgetting a certain Azrael...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 09:35:13 pm
... and its deadly payload of Smartweiser ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 29, 2008, 10:03:03 pm
...Which led to a drunken...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 10:09:04 pm
Marcus Fenix, who ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 29, 2008, 10:38:59 pm
blew chunks within his helmet, resulting in...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 29, 2008, 10:47:04 pm
A delightful meal enjoyed twice. Saving money to spend on cog tags which can be redeemed for. .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 29, 2008, 11:07:54 pm
Spacecrack!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 29, 2008, 11:22:43 pm
... Which resulted in Stormkeeper wondering how to continue from such a succint comment.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 29, 2008, 11:47:42 pm
Stumped, stormkeeper proceeded to his quarters, where upon logging onto HLP, caused his head to implode, from him being within HLP two ways at once...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 30, 2008, 09:00:36 am
, the other being in his imagination, which...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 30, 2008, 09:18:53 am
Is nonexistent, resulting in a paradox that...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 30, 2008, 09:33:32 am
Was thinking about hot busty vasudans women...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BengalTiger on May 30, 2008, 11:25:27 am
And since we have a paradox thinking about hot women
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 30, 2008, 12:35:41 pm
Snail then comes in and asked what happened to him in the last 4 pages or so.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 30, 2008, 12:44:17 pm
And monkeys fast-rope down into the line of fire of the GTVA Colossus.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 30, 2008, 01:34:43 pm
...Completely ignoring Snail, who then commits suicide.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 30, 2008, 01:38:46 pm
Who wakes up and finds himself waiting in an escargot cooking bar.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 30, 2008, 01:40:13 pm
Skippy comes over with a huge knife, butter, parsley and salt...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 30, 2008, 01:41:45 pm
But slips on a patch of you-really-absolutely-don't-wanna-know-what, tripping up and ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 30, 2008, 03:18:29 pm
..recovering completely. Skippy then proceeds to begin to cut away at the cuisine that laid before him....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BengalTiger on May 30, 2008, 03:28:31 pm
But he fails, because...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on May 30, 2008, 03:46:25 pm
A new strain of avian flu comes along and...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on May 30, 2008, 03:48:42 pm
...Kalfireth kills every bird in the country...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on May 30, 2008, 05:01:45 pm
which by some twist of fate allows colecampbell666 to resurrect the dodo...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 30, 2008, 05:07:36 pm
...Which happens to be the key to immortality...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 30, 2008, 06:35:16 pm
Cole is wondering how he got dragged into this...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 30, 2008, 09:38:39 pm
then nuke hands out free nukes and dope to everybody in the story
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 30, 2008, 10:29:42 pm
...Causing Bush to declare war on everyone for having WMDs...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 12:14:56 am
But his mother smacks him on the head accidentally with a crowbar, causing a loud, disembodied voice to yell "CROWBAR FRAG!!"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 31, 2008, 03:03:07 am
It turned out to be KArajorma hiding behind a nearby desk, holding a loud hailer...
Upon seeing him, everybody proceeded to advance on his fortified desk position wielding whatever nearby potential bludgeoning instruments lay to hand....First in line was......
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 03:05:01 am
Colonol Dekker, leading by example! In his hand he held ....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 31, 2008, 03:25:25 am
his busted previous internal organs!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on May 31, 2008, 04:08:57 am
which were made into a stew to feed orphans...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 06:38:49 am
... And so he smacked Karajorma on the head with the pot holding the stew, and Karajorma cried out, "You're banned!" and Dekker disappeared in a flash of fairy dust.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 31, 2008, 08:19:42 am
kara was left wondering why Dekker's name popped up so often, when he was...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 31, 2008, 10:06:01 am
Warped away to Zordons sacred mountain temple with the other hard-light rangers. Karajorma being the pink ranger the others were-
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 31, 2008, 10:08:17 am
Me, ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 11:15:32 am
Me, ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 31, 2008, 11:47:47 am
And me, the white ranger...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Talon 1024 on May 31, 2008, 12:09:34 pm
Meanwhile, the hard-light Wingnuts, who didn't happen to be HLP rangers, were on the TCS Victory...

Except Tolwyn, who was sitting in his office on a starbase in a nearby system.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 12:39:07 pm
He was investigating the boom boom effect caused by boom boom rebels, rebels dispatched by the boom boom general!!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 31, 2008, 12:44:28 pm
When the rangers came alongside. "We're looking for Goetz"...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on May 31, 2008, 07:37:57 pm
Tolwyn looked up and asked, "Do you have an appointment ?"
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 31, 2008, 07:43:50 pm
And then Stanley Richmond shot him...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 31, 2008, 07:55:20 pm
...in his spleen...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on May 31, 2008, 08:07:16 pm
So Tolwyn pressed the big red button on his desk, realsing a galaxy-wide genselect weapon which turned everybody into (fill in the blank) while the Hard light-Rangers were suddenly attacked by the boom boom rebels.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on May 31, 2008, 09:01:22 pm
turned everyone into... MEERKATS!!!...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on May 31, 2008, 09:24:43 pm
The Rangers called in their Zords to fight the rebels...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on May 31, 2008, 11:03:59 pm
WHO CALLED IN THE FRICKIN' SHARKS WITH THE FRICKIN' LASERZ ON THEIR HEADZ!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on May 31, 2008, 11:10:32 pm
at the mention of headz, thousands of vasudans instantly flood the area...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on May 31, 2008, 11:31:47 pm
...Only to find hords of Sharks with Frickin' Laserz on their Headz...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on June 01, 2008, 01:48:05 am
The vasudans then brutally start attacking the Sharks with Frickin' Laserz on their Headz...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BengalTiger on June 01, 2008, 04:04:37 am
Killing them all in 1 second with...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 07:00:12 am
"S" Words, and violently pulling the sharks off the pile of delicious headz...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 01, 2008, 11:31:05 am
Then the Vasudans realized that shark fins tasted just as great, and began ripping off their fins and stewing them in soup for a massive, SHARK FIN BUFFET!!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 12:14:27 pm
Some angry Chinese guy comes up, yelling about...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Gortef on June 01, 2008, 01:58:02 pm
... the end of the soup. But no one really cared so he went back to finish his soup. In the meantime...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 02:16:47 pm
A child was born. This child was named Leonidas...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 01, 2008, 04:18:59 pm
...Who at an age of 6 months could benchpress a small donkey...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on June 01, 2008, 04:19:33 pm
...and eat it too...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 06:04:33 pm
The child grew to be a formidable warrior... And king. He was sent, with the Colossus and 300 fighters and bombers, to hold off the Shivan Advance, when he yelled...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 01, 2008, 06:57:30 pm
"I love you baby! Cover me in jelly and call me barbera!" Who did he yell this to? None other than. . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 06:58:27 pm
Carl, Bosch, Goob and kara, all back from the dead, and they...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Droid803 on June 01, 2008, 07:26:33 pm
...all had a orgy party on board the Colossus which was...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 01, 2008, 07:43:22 pm
Then destroyed by SJ Sathanas 17, kara happened to look at his watch just before being atomized, it read "12:00", and he was high on...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on June 01, 2008, 07:50:41 pm
...Smartweiser beer...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on June 01, 2008, 10:59:49 pm
appalled at the drinking of the smartwieser beer, the the shivans obliterated the collosus, meaning only to kill kara... and thus the real plot of the shivans unfolds...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 01, 2008, 11:07:15 pm
They were the galaxy's immune system, dedicated to the elimination of all Derek Smart related apparel, and eventually Derek Smart himself! For Derek Smart was ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 01, 2008, 11:45:50 pm
getting raped by a goat...

a male goat!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 02, 2008, 03:06:09 am
this goat had come from the turd of Sauron!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 02:53:42 pm
, a bagel shaped contrivance smelling of...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 02, 2008, 03:11:27 pm
the excretion of the Vasudan chef working on an Officer exchange programme between The GTD Galatea and the PVD Hope.  In return, The Hope recieved...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 03:15:49 pm
Router cable components...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 02, 2008, 03:22:12 pm
Used to set up a lan game of quake1. The only game to survive the wars which ravaged both species before the Shivans arrived. . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 03:31:43 pm
On June 3rd, 2008...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 02, 2008, 03:36:05 pm
An emaciated strip of shivan jerky...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 03:54:44 pm
Ran for president...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: TrashMan on June 02, 2008, 04:45:24 pm
And beaten G.W. Bush with a stunning 158% votes. This started a new era, since the strip of shivan jerky brought new laws such as:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 04:47:12 pm
No penis shaped ships allowed to fly on Wednesday...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 02, 2008, 04:55:38 pm
And ordered the immediate construction of 80 Sathanes in the Sol system as well as re-opening the Sol-Delta Serpentis jump node...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 04:56:24 pm
The Sathanii went out of control, and...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 02, 2008, 05:15:14 pm
went through the newly re-opened jump node...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 05:16:42 pm
Killing all...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 02, 2008, 05:17:20 pm
The gangbangers in the system...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 05:24:32 pm
Their heads all asplode...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 02, 2008, 05:25:10 pm
Across Sol a debate flared as to which sort of gangbangers were under attack.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 02, 2008, 05:35:43 pm
The Galactic News Channel reported that it was the Bloods, who were...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 02, 2008, 05:57:37 pm
Quick to point at the Crips...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 02, 2008, 08:48:08 pm
Who pointed at Kitty who said,

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a354/sohmingjian/307165.jpg)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on June 03, 2008, 01:21:51 am
The crips, frightened at the cute animal which measured a staggering 7.7 inches long, proceeded to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 03, 2008, 02:06:38 am
rape a goat...
a male goat!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 03, 2008, 04:09:42 am
And Kitty said,

(http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a354/sohmingjian/307165.jpg)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 01:15:25 pm
For the second time, irritating people who...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 03, 2008, 01:28:59 pm
Screw male goats deserve to marry-
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 01:41:53 pm
Dekker...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 03, 2008, 01:50:54 pm
Hooray! :)
Stag party in hangar b, deck 11. The party was organised by ColeCampbell and for entertainment he booked . .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 01:59:24 pm
The Dancing Headz, the party was held in one of the first completed rooms of the HLP station, proud supporter of...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 03, 2008, 02:17:58 pm
Millwall? :nervous:
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 02:26:51 pm
And The Procyon Insurgency...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 03, 2008, 02:33:15 pm
but later defected to Crystal Palace when the being in question digested the brains found in the headz...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 04:02:18 pm
...Onto the floor...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 03, 2008, 04:28:01 pm
Causing Goob to slip and fall onto some...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 04:31:01 pm
Delicious Copypasta...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 03, 2008, 04:41:13 pm
which were very quickly served up in the general mess hall of the Galatea which caused the crew to...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 04:42:14 pm
Vomit loudly...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 03, 2008, 05:11:11 pm
so loudly, that Admiral Shima aboard the GTD Bastion jumped into space near the Galatea believing the vomiting to be a distress signal, only to find...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 03, 2008, 05:18:25 pm
A huge frozen ball of puke, floating towards...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 03, 2008, 05:18:45 pm
Admiral Wolf breakdancing on the runway wearing a space helmet and little else.....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 05:22:25 pm
Save for a pair of assless chaps...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hellstryker on June 03, 2008, 05:54:42 pm
that were pink with yellow flowers...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 06:54:47 pm
And penises...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 03, 2008, 07:00:43 pm
with weird monkeys playing ...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 03, 2008, 07:17:37 pm
Banjos...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on June 03, 2008, 11:00:41 pm
That blow up...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 03, 2008, 11:37:21 pm
into clouds of confetti.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Aardwolf on June 04, 2008, 01:27:33 am
Then suddenly Batman burst from the shade...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 04, 2008, 01:30:49 am
and accidentally walks into a firing beam cannon and is instantly vaporized.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Hades on June 04, 2008, 01:35:49 am
But it was only a teleporation beam and he teleported to his Batcave...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 04, 2008, 01:41:20 am
on vasuda prime, which unfortunately blew up when the lucifer bombarded the planet...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: achtung on June 04, 2008, 01:57:36 am
totally destroying batman and every fibre of his being.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 04, 2008, 02:57:09 am
his penis survived and is being kept in a jar at...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Aardwolf on June 04, 2008, 02:57:48 am
Abraham Lincoln's grave
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 04, 2008, 08:10:16 am
But was mistaken for a kiddy toy and given to a 6 yr old as a b-day present .
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Gortef on June 04, 2008, 08:58:49 am
.. who threw it away after playing with it for an hour. And thus was returned to the grave. That didn't please...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: haloboy100 on June 04, 2008, 09:19:09 am
Robin, who...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Aardwolf on June 04, 2008, 09:25:43 am
laid an egg
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 04, 2008, 11:36:33 am
That I ate for lunch after I regained my sanity, but...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: BengalTiger on June 04, 2008, 12:00:33 pm
The egg hatched, and there is an Alien inside you...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: ShadowGorrath on June 04, 2008, 12:11:10 pm
[not-part-of-the-story] This "story" is getting disturbing [/not-part-of-the-story]
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 04, 2008, 12:15:53 pm
OOC: I know what you mean.

who used a temporal distortion device to create clone soldiers, all who looked like DEREK SMART!!!
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 12:56:11 pm
Wearing... Pajamas! With...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 02:06:51 pm
The words "this is getting a little strange" tattoed on his head
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 02:40:03 pm
And a Zod came up and ate his lunch, which made him very...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 02:44:59 pm
Cranky so he chased down Colin C with an axe but....
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Snail on June 04, 2008, 02:47:14 pm
The evil freespace fans stopped him.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 04, 2008, 03:05:18 pm
With the assistance from the 80 Sathanes which had returned to the Sol system...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Tyrian on June 04, 2008, 03:30:31 pm
To bring back Disco...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 03:55:29 pm
And get their funk on...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 04, 2008, 04:23:12 pm
with the Galatea and Bastion so there was...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 04, 2008, 05:00:20 pm
The MTD Auriga . . . With it's super long.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 04, 2008, 05:37:13 pm
fanny farts as a saboter had disabled its Long Range Beam Cannon with a...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 04, 2008, 05:48:22 pm
dildo...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: admiral_wolf on June 04, 2008, 05:50:13 pm
stolen from Admiral Shima's cabin by Lt. Alex McCarthey because...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Droid803 on June 04, 2008, 05:58:43 pm
he had a fetish for dildos and were using them to simulate...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Colonol Dekker on June 04, 2008, 06:07:06 pm
The NTD Repulse ramming...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 04, 2008, 07:09:52 pm
into a block of strawberry jelly.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 07:11:20 pm
With the Colossus hard on it's tail...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 04, 2008, 07:15:24 pm
trailing blobs of orange jelly.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 07:57:22 pm
Onto pieces of toast shaped like...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 08:01:34 pm
(Not Part Of Story) Damn it Cole i was just about to hit post. You know now i will have find some excuse to make something bad happen to you somewhere in this story (Not Part Of Story)

(Part Of Story) Cole who at this very moment is being picked apart by vasudans with butter knives because...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 08:02:31 pm
He pissed off tinfoil...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 08:05:48 pm
who really has nothing better to do because all of his tulips were...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 08:06:32 pm
Frozen to death, because he lives in Calgary, land of the...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 08:08:16 pm
(not part of story) oh god i better think of something fast - this could get ugly (not part of story)
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: tinfoil on June 04, 2008, 08:10:45 pm
{insert something that will distract Colin from tinfoil}
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: colecampbell666 on June 04, 2008, 08:17:20 pm
Cole watches Colin run off, wondering where he came from in the first place...
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Stormkeeper on June 04, 2008, 08:43:37 pm
And notices pedobear watching Colin.
Title: Re: Tell a Story
Post by: Nuke on June 05, 2008, 01:14:41 am
then the universe implodes

im just pissed im not the one who gets the honor of locking it.