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Author Topic: HLP Official Greeting  (Read 3801 times)

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Offline .::Tin Can::.

  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
on: December 05, 2004, 06:04:11 pm
Found this a long time ago when Lt. Cannonfodder gave it to me on my first time here:

Quote
Welcome to HLP. There are exits to the left and rear. Do not attempt to use them. Under your seat you will find empty beer cans, cookie crumbs, corpses of newbies, dog eared dungeon Porn mags left by Shrike... oh, and a Flamethrower. Unfortunately, we're out of napalm, so you'll have to bludgeon people to death with them.

In the event of serious conflict, there are plasma rifles in the forward locker, though these can only be opened by an Admin, [V], God, or Hyperintelligent shade of the colour Blue. If, for whatever reason, you find yourself crawling around in the ductwork, there's a better than average chance you'll encounter a Shivan. They're easy to spot with the five legs and all. If you're lucky, it's just Carl, who responds well to food rewards. If not, then at least you die quickly. Be aware that the entrance to the main control room is guarded by subspatial claymore mines.

Do not mention FS3. Karajorma's FAQ is your friend. Worship SCP team as Gods. Have a nice day.
 

Offline Grey Wolf

HLP Official Greeting
Reply #1 on: December 05, 2004, 06:27:19 pm
Looking back at my first posts, I apparently never was actually greeted.


Also, I'm amazed at how much of a n00b I was....
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw
 

Offline .::Tin Can::.

  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #2 on: December 05, 2004, 06:28:47 pm
I think my first 500 posts were that of my "Era of Hatred". :D

Now I'm in the "Era of Tollerance".
 

Offline Hippo

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #3 on: December 05, 2004, 06:31:33 pm
Quote
Originally posted by .::Tin Can::.
Now I'm in the "Era of Tollerance".


Not if you keep this habit up. :doubt:
VBB Survivor -- 387 Posts -- July 3 2001 - April 12 2002
VWBB Survivor -- 100 Posts -- July 10 2002 - July 10 2004
AHTW
 

Offline redmenace

  • 211
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #4 on: December 05, 2004, 06:45:13 pm
I think it is time to update it. What do you guys think.
Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
              -Frederic Bastiat
 

Offline Hippo

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #5 on: December 05, 2004, 06:46:26 pm
If it has a cat in it, I'm going homicidal.
VBB Survivor -- 387 Posts -- July 3 2001 - April 12 2002
VWBB Survivor -- 100 Posts -- July 10 2002 - July 10 2004
AHTW
 

Offline Lightspeed

  • Light Years Ahead
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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #6 on: December 05, 2004, 07:03:29 pm
More like the era of "Spam".
Modern man is the missing link between ape and human being.
 

Offline kode

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #7 on: December 05, 2004, 07:06:45 pm
I was never welcomed. neither would I have cared. I made like 2 posts the first year I was registered.
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
- Ambrose Bierce
<Redfang> You're almost like Stryke 9 or an0n
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored."
- Aldous Huxley
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
 

Offline Corsair

  • Gull Wings Rule
  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #8 on: December 05, 2004, 07:29:51 pm
I've got an even older version of that message lying around somewhere on my HD...lemme see if I can dig it up...

Here it is!

Welcome to HLP!
Exits are to the rear and left, in case of emergency shotguns are located under the seats. Knife fights are strictly prohibited in favor of more interesting 35mm mortar duels and machete jello wrestling. Heavy weaponry, such as plasma rifles, are located in the weapons lockers, but these can only be unlocked by an admin or a Volitioner. The giant rats in the barracks are not for eating. If you happen to come across a Shivan in the air ducts, don't worry, it's probably just Carl. Toss him your lunch (or your lunch money) and he'll go away. If he doesn't... pray. That will be all, we hope you will enjoy your stay.

Oh, and does anybody remember this goodie that Shrike posted over at the VWBB or VBB (can't remember which)?
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR COMPUTERS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUM WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline .::Tin Can::.

  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #9 on: December 05, 2004, 07:31:36 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Lightspeed
More like the era of "Spam".


Prove it.

Corsair: Interesting greeting. Think we should merge the two?
 

Offline Knight Templar

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #10 on: December 05, 2004, 07:31:46 pm
Corsair: I remember getting that at the VBB. :D

Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

Too Long, Didn't Read
 

Offline Corsair

  • Gull Wings Rule
  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #11 on: December 05, 2004, 07:33:33 pm
Quote
Originally posted by .::Tin Can::.
Corsair: Interesting greeting. Think we should merge the two?

:nod:
There was also a version I remember that assigned the n00b to be Thunderfireth's personal slave.
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline .::Tin Can::.

  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #12 on: December 05, 2004, 07:34:30 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar
Corsair: I remember getting that at the VBB. :D

Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.


Im talking about now, not "then"
 

Offline Hippo

  • Darth water-horse
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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #13 on: December 05, 2004, 07:35:34 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar
Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.



And still counting!
VBB Survivor -- 387 Posts -- July 3 2001 - April 12 2002
VWBB Survivor -- 100 Posts -- July 10 2002 - July 10 2004
AHTW
 

Offline Carl

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #14 on: December 05, 2004, 07:51:57 pm
you guys, there is no "offical" greeting. everyone puts their own creative spin on it, so it's similar but different every time.
"Gunnery control, fry that ****er!" - nuclear1
 

Offline Corsair

  • Gull Wings Rule
  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #15 on: December 05, 2004, 08:23:23 pm
Doesn't mean we can't talk about it. :p

You just enjoy having a big role that's always changing in so many of the welcome messages.
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline .::Tin Can::.

  • 29
HLP Official Greeting
Reply #16 on: December 05, 2004, 09:11:49 pm
To me, Carl, the welcome messages just seem to be getting shorter and shorter and shorter, so I put down a decently lengthy one that I recieved upon my first visit.

Quote
Posted byHippo

And still counting!


What makes mine different from yours? Does this mean you "spam" just as much as I do?
 

Offline Sandwich

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #17 on: December 06, 2004, 02:06:26 am
Quote
Originally posted by Carl
you guys, there is no "offical" greeting. everyone puts their own creative spin on it, so it's similar but different every time.


Says the "official ductworks lurker-greeter". :p
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Offline Carl

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #18 on: December 06, 2004, 02:22:24 am
you have no idea how many brown paper lunch bags i have.
"Gunnery control, fry that ****er!" - nuclear1
 

Offline Galemp

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HLP Official Greeting
Reply #19 on: December 06, 2004, 02:30:50 am
Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device in case of emergency.
"Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment." -- Robert Benchley

Members I've personally met: RedStreblo, Goober5000, Sandwich, Splinter, Su-tehp, Hippo, CP5670, Terran Emperor, Karajorma, Dekker, McCall, Admiral Wolf, mxlm, RedSniper, Stealth, Black Wolf...
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