Yes, nobody beat me to the speech! I get to give the welcome spiel, woohoo!
Welcome to HLP!
Exits are to your right and left, and flamethrowers are under your seat. Be careful, though, as they are sometimes filled with water. If this is the case, try to club someone with the non-working shotguns in the weapon closet. Also, be careful while wandering the ventilation shafts, because sometimes Carl the Shivan lurks in there. If you happen to come across him, just toss him your lunch and hope that it satisfies him. If it doesn’t… run. And pray. In the event of an emergency, you can and will be used as a flotation device. The Plasma rifles in the forward locker are released only under authorization of an Admin, [V] God, and/or hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. Oh, and whatever you do, don't hit on Tiara, no matter how good of an idea it might seem.